Hope is an Anchor

2012-02-26T22:40:00.002-08:00

Some times you just feel a lot, a lot of deep hurt.

Isn't it interesting that God created us with that capacity?

2012-02-25T14:26:00.000-08:00

Is it pathetic that I giggled?

Yes, yes I suppose it is. Even so, I giggled (at the burnt bread and water color). And you know what else? I hope my man some day needs me like I need bread. ;)

2012-02-25T11:44:00.000-08:00

This summer, we are going hiking someplace Kristin went years ago - where you can jump in and swim part way up. I've been trying not to think too much about it, because when I do, I wish it were tomorrow!! So excited for this. I wish I had more free days during the summer to enjoy the outdoors.

I think I would be willing to work 6-day work weeks during the winter, so I could have 3 day weekends all summer. Seriously, why hasn't any company ever proposed that? If I run a company some day (and I just might), I will likely have some unconventional rules of play. I'm all about finding what makes people come alive - because people truly alive are far more creative, focused and productive. And I'd like my employees to be all of those things. Not to mention, they're just more fun to be around, and if you're going to be spending 40 hours a week with them....(give or take 8 depending on the season...teehee).

2012-02-25T11:38:00.001-08:00

2012-02-24T12:13:00.001-08:00

Last night was book club.

And the theme was Hunger Games.

There's quite the story to tell, and it will come. Probably tonight.

In the meantime, here's a dandy to remind you:

Spring is coming.

Hope is living.

Don't give up.

And while we wait for Spring, live.

And drink lots of good coffee with good friends.

2012-02-24T11:54:00.000-08:00

Praise the Lord, Oh my Soul.

And let all that's within me,

Praise His Name.

2012-02-24T09:40:00.000-08:00

Dark coffee and girl scout cookies for breakfast?

Yes, I think so, Friday.

We all had our pre-ordered boxes waiting on our desks when we walked in to work this morning.

2012-02-23T23:56:00.001-08:00

2012-02-23T23:50:00.002-08:00

2012-02-23T23:47:00.002-08:00

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness, and nothing is so gentle as true strength." Ralph Sockman

2012-02-23T23:46:00.002-08:00

2012-02-23T23:45:00.000-08:00

"Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting, but never hit soft." Theodore Roosevelt

2012-02-23T23:44:00.000-08:00

2012-02-23T23:40:00.000-08:00

"I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death." Thomas Paine

2012-02-23T14:32:00.000-08:00

Ash Wednesday Conversations

Me: "Are you and chocolate still on speaking terms?"

Ha. Chocolate and I have never been better. Our relationship is very strong. We set up time every night to talk and the conversation is usually delicious. We have talked about going to Ballard and touring Theo to see where Chocolate grew up. I think it would help me better understand where Chocolate is coming from.

The Lord has blessed me with highly entertaining (and brilliant) friends. And no, this wasn't from Megs. ;)

Are you giving up anything for Lent? I have to admit, when I thought of it yesterday, I'd already indulged in most of the things I'd typically give up (chocolate, meat, sugar, coffee. It's true.) But I'm praying as to what He might have for me to lay down for this season.

2012-02-22T22:38:00.000-08:00

Anyone know the forecast for the Bay Area next weekend?

I didn't exactly quit me job, but thankfully my boss did give me a couple days off. And Kristin and I just bought tickets. She said to me over the phone as I booked, "You know this is kind of ridiculous of you, right? I have to do this, you don't." I assured her, I had to too. Just, in a different way. I may not have a wedding to go to, but my heart's been craving some California air and I'm well due for some good adventure/ wandering hours. Here's to writing the last few Goals for 25 at the same cafe table I began them. And perhaps even marking a few more off.

2012-02-22T22:32:00.002-08:00

2012-02-22T20:22:00.004-08:00

On my list of favorite things, high up there is making a recipe for the first time, for guests. For guests who I hardly know.

Oh wait. That didn't make the list.

After Kaylee AND a girl at work both suggesting what I'd already been fighting in my own mind... I am taking another shot at lamb stew. Only one person really liked my lamb stew last St. Patrick's Day. Oh well I guess. I'm just going to provide plenty of delicious bread and carbs and delicious dessert to wipe away the memory of the stew (should it bomb).

After looking up some recipes online, I realized that one woman was very right. I really could have thrown anything in the stew and called it beef... in true Greasy Sae fashion, “Once it’s in the soup, I’ll call it beef.”

Squirrel anyone?

Oh no, we are going to do this one right. Lamb and dried plumb and say a quick prayer. ; ) If nothing else, the house smells quite tasty (but the smell fooled me last time too).

“So, Katniss, the Capitol must be quite a change from District Twelve. What’s impressed you most since you arrived here?” asks Caesar. . . .I rack my brain for something that made me happy here. Be honest, I think. Be honest.“The lamb stew,” I get out.Caesar laughs, and vaguely I realize some of the audience has joined in.“The one with the dried plums?” asks Caesar. I nod. “Oh, I eat it by the bucketful.”

P.S. Guess who bought their ticket today for the midnight showing?

2012-02-22T09:27:00.000-08:00

I am a member of two book clubs, a secret literary society, and an unknown reading group. Makes it hard to decide which book I should pick up next. Last night, I just gave in and picked up the one I really have been wanting to read for weeks.

That was after I spent an hour googling "How to throw an amazing Hunger Games themed party." Tomorrow night I am hosting one of the book clubs, and we have been reading The Hunger Games. I'm a bit bummed that Natalie won't be there this week and only four of us will. But that isn't going to stop me from throwing a pretty fantastic evening. Should you find yourself free tomorrow night, and wishing to discuss the boy who baked bread and the girl who was on fire.... text me. There will be bread, hot chocolate, something with berries, something for dinner (that's what keeps stumping me!), and some interesting decorations that I began last night. So very fun. :)

PS. My sister Kristin got roped into reading the series, since she started this particular book club (which is actually a book & recipe club), and though she thought she'd be immune.... I happen to know she is currently debating some pretty desperate measures for how to finish the last 20 pages of book two, while she is at work. ;)

You can't stop this.

2012-02-21T19:53:00.000-08:00

What are miles when hearts are near?
There are so many worse enemies than distance
to fear.

2012-02-21T14:42:00.000-08:00

Even a fool is thought wise if he stays silent, and a foolish girl if she doesn't move.... but what good is a fool undiscovered? Only doomed to remain a scared fool.

2012-02-21T14:29:00.001-08:00

I'm sitting here thinking,

I could either post this....

Or this...

Both favorites. So, let's just pretend this is one of those shows online now where you get to pick your own commercial. You can pretend I posted whichever you best like. Because I tend to like both a lot. And I kind of feel like if you could meld the two together, you'd understand me a tiny bit better. Yes? :)

And besides, I hate decisions.

Thoughts I've had in the past week: Why don't I box? I should practice throwing my throwing knife. Oh, they're cute. (sincerely.) I can't wait to go to the gun range this weekend. Hmm, I need to practice my violin.

Disturbing? I'm starting to think it might be a little. It will be good when soccer starts back up.

For the record, I am not a violent person. But when I start to feel stuck in things I feel I have no control over, I tend to dive into physical things. Like running. And in the past, soccer. It helps somehow to feel something on the outside, when you can't seem to get most of what's happening on the inside, out.

2012-02-21T11:36:00.002-08:00

"This is your one opportunity to do something that no one has ever done before and that no one will copy throughout human existence. And if nothing else, you will be remembered as the one guy who ever did this. This one thing."

-"Sam," from one of my favorite films. :)

2012-02-21T09:05:00.000-08:00

The last couple mornings I've been thinking about restoration. I think we limit the boundaries of restoration, and the power of the gospel. Paul, who wrote the majority of the New Testament, used to oversee the persecution of the early church, the murder of followers of the man called Jesus Christ. Moses murdered an Egyptian, fled, and eventually led God's people out of Egypt. Peter denied Jesus three times, and still became the rock Christ built His church upon. I don't know how it should look today, but I think it's interesting that as soon as a person screws up, we mark them off the list of leadership material. We don't trust them anymore, and usuaully we never are willing to again. Yet, Jesus knew Peter would deny Him, and really wasn't that betrayal in His darkest hour? And knowing that, He still called him Peter, still decided to build on him. He understands things so much better than we do - understands even what a leader might need before he is a useful piece in what Christ's building. So why are we content to just mark people off? I think there needs to be evidence in a person's life of real deep repentance and change... not just for a day or a week or a month.... but I also think that's the power of the gospel, right? Creating something faithful out of a sinner? Creating something beautiful out of the ugly? Creating friends out of enemies? Seem too much in real life? Well, He certainly made us friends of God's when we were enemies. And I seem to remember Him saying that if we can't forgive our brother, His Father won't forgive us.

2012-02-21T07:27:00.000-08:00

2012-02-20T13:08:00.001-08:00

I just don't like my job today. At all. :(

And it's not even because I'm at work on a holiday.

2012-02-19T13:27:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, I worry about how much of me seems all about this. And then there's the practical / realist side. I'm not sure which will win in the end, or even which is supposed to, but I'm pretty sure the longer the battle lasts between the to, the better off I am. :)

On that note, my sister is going down to Cali in a couple weeks for a wedding, and I'm seriously considering just getting in the car. She asked me, "What are you going to do all week, just wander around the city?" Yep. She'll be staying in Petaluma, which I wouldn't mind too much either. I bet I could even find a bus to San Fran for the day or so. :) Kristin, I know I'm being such a little sister right now..... "Can I come too?!" But truly, my heart starts to ache for California every couple months and I've been feeling the withdrawals for weeks. I blame part of this behavior (or thought-behavior) on Kerouac. This girl just needs some sunshine, needs a drive, needs to wander that city that I love.

I think I'm going to mention it to my boss on Monday. :) I've got some gas money.

2012-02-18T11:33:00.000-08:00

2012-02-18T11:03:00.001-08:00

2012-02-18T10:53:00.001-08:00

Looking forward to an old tradition returning again this year - Kelly girls at the Ellensburg Rodeo! :)

Though it won't ever be the same without our man Flynn.

2012-02-17T13:27:00.000-08:00

After enjoying an unexpected drink with a friend, I hopped on to a later bus than usual. It might seem like a little matter of an hour or two, but it completely changes the dynamic of the bus. The 312 at 5:20 is very different than the 312 at 7:30. I looked around and noticed that while there were many open seats, they were all "unavailable" seeing as the occupants beside each seat were sprawled out in a very subtle message: find another seat. I made eye contact with a man in his late thirties (I would guess) who pulled his jacket over and cleared the seat beside him. I kind of laughed a little apologetic smile and sat down next to him. "Saw me looking?" And he laughed back. A very friendly laugh. I smiled, pulled out my book, and began reading. At which point I heard over my shoulder, "A real book? Mind if I see what it is? I promise I'll leave you alone after." To which began a wonderful conversation full of a lot of sincere laughter with a stranger on the bus. And I remembered, this is why I love riding the bus, because though some days it smells terrible and you hang half off in the aisle and everyone passing by bumps into you and spills your coffee or may even verbally harass you so that you have to dial in a friend's number who you think is most likely to go searching for your body along Lake City.... there are other days where you listen to a stranger tell you all about their double major in college and the best they made against the "world wide web" back in the 80s. And then they realize they're about to miss their stop and they jump up and run off. "This is the best bus ride I've ever had, and I used to ride the 358. So, that's saying something. I was offered every narcotic there is. By name. Excuse me, what is that? Oh, no thank you." I love riding the bus...most days. Where better to collect stories than a place where you are socially expected to sit down beside a stranger for an hour of your day?

That said, I read another great bus story today. :)

PS, the man who kissed me the day before yesterday? He somehow found us downtown again last night, in a completely different area. I told him I'd give him a few more dollars, but no kiss. : /

2012-02-17T06:52:00.000-08:00

Beginning to love these lines cut into my finger tips.

2012-02-17T06:44:00.000-08:00

NutMeg and Rosemary.

Two of my absolute favorites. ;)

2012-02-17T06:42:00.000-08:00

This summer? : )

Brade, I guess this is the part 'awesome' since it's probably not the part 'classy'. : /

Respect, don't judge. :)

2012-02-16T20:51:00.001-08:00

2012-02-16T19:59:00.000-08:00

Parked at POE. :)

2012-02-16T15:10:00.000-08:00

You know I didn't learn what pot smelt like until I was... older than most. After announcing multiple times very loudly to my mother in a costume store, "OH MY WORD WHAT IS THAT?!" "No, seriously mom, can you smell that!?" "Dear God, that is horrible!" My mom finally broke it to her high school daughter, "Honey, that was marijuana, and it was the man next to you." Whoops. Well, let me tell you, it takes a lot of control for me to not say that to every smoker I walk by - I feel they should be told, "You're killing yourself, and you smell like it. Yes, you smell like slow-death." I'm sorry. Too mean? I love you smokers, it's just that I have an extremely sensitive nose (also thanks to my mom) and bad smells make me want to vomit. Truly, gag reflex. I can't stop inhaling, I get light-headed and annoyed and nauseous and start to pray that if I throw up, it's on the person who smells that bad.

That said, I smell marijuana ALL over Seattle lately, I swear. It could just be me, but I feel like it's a sudden thing. Maybe it's that I've moved offices and this few blocks are worse than the previous few blocks? That could be it, since I was by the court house, jail, judicial offices, and the columbia tower. Not the best spot for weed. Or maybe there's just more of it in Seattle lately? I have no idea, but every day on my lunch break, no matter which direction I walk, I swear I smell weed. It's like I'm at Folklife.... minus the music. And all the great metal jewelry. : /

2012-02-16T10:16:00.000-08:00

“I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again."

-The Hunger Games

2012-02-16T09:43:00.000-08:00

2012-02-16T09:41:00.000-08:00

Paint me something beautiful, but paint me something true.
Paint me what is stirring you and all its different hues.

2012-02-15T22:54:00.000-08:00

The new note beside my bed.

Wake up: breathe the courage. smell the flowers.

2012-02-15T22:53:00.000-08:00

My Funny Valentine's.

2012-02-15T22:50:00.001-08:00

2012-02-15T22:49:00.000-08:00

Today was a bit fantastic. I'm in love with this space, and I cannot wait to see it filled. I got all sappy today, but I can't deny there is something wonderful about playing a part in physically shaping my city, a city I love. These buildings are part of history, past and present and future. They've heard countless stories, known men and women who have been broken, loved and forgiven. And they have countless more stories to listen to and tell again. Perhaps my story will be one of them.

2012-02-15T20:50:00.000-08:00

I was kissed by a homeless man today.

He asked for money. I went to give him some. He said, "You look like a barbie doll. Can I have a hug?" And so I gave him a hug.... and got a wet kiss on the cheek.

2012-02-15T20:43:00.000-08:00

Grateful for this Girl. :)

And for getting to just be, "me," together.

2012-02-15T20:31:00.001-08:00

2012-02-15T20:27:00.001-08:00

2012-02-15T09:47:00.000-08:00

Another day in Photoshop, with a break in the middle for a shoot with Mal. Just guess how happy this gal is. This is something I could do for a living and love every day. Especially if those days started with cuddles on the couch with a child sweet as Miss Finleigh, and a hand-made latte.

I got to watch Fin last night so the Rowles could have a Valentines Date. And while I knew she'd probably be in bed by the time I got there, I didn't expect that Kristin and Grant would have made me spaghetti, bought me a bottle of wine, dark chocolates, and Grant would have even bought me flowers. Having people in my life like them sure make it sweet and help me remember the love that we are all called to embody in our every day.

So grateful for the people in my life who love me for better or for worse each day. And who help me learn how to love them better too. I have got a lot left to learn. It's Wednesday, what a perfect day to practice... right in the middle of it all. All the messes, all the sleepiness, all the wonder and work.

2012-02-14T16:25:00.000-08:00

Inspired by Danette's Facebook status, and my email correspondence with my CPA today... I think there is no coincidence that Valentines Day comes right in the middle of the tax season. I think I'd be a happy girl if my (one-day) boyfriend gave me kisses, did my taxes and perhaps made a little mix tape. I'm really not a hard girl to please.

2012-02-14T16:18:00.000-08:00

Spent almost the entire work day on Photoshop, ran errands across the city, was treated to lunch by my sis and given beautiful flowers. Not to mention, I never had to open Excel today, not even once. Happy Valentines Day to me!

.

2012-02-14T00:49:00.000-08:00

Thanks Brade :)

2012-02-14T00:38:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentines Day.

2012-02-14T00:37:00.000-08:00

I want a kick-drum, not a snare. A man that arrests your soul, not strikes your nerves.

These are the things I think about on long runs. Especially when TH&TH is playing in my ears and a battle's playing in my mind.

I want a kick-drum in the silence.

Yes, Kristin, I went running and you know what running does to my heart. ;)

2012-02-13T21:15:00.000-08:00

2012-02-13T21:11:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is Valentines Day - I tell you this, because I know none of you realized it. Let the Tumblr-love-a-thon begin. I'm undecided how deep I'll get. So, sorry, no promises. I might drown you all in lovey-dovey, dark chocolate, a glass too many of red wine type photos. But, probably not. I've got a fun project to work on at work tomorrow.

And all I know is I've got a great date tomorrow night. ;)

2012-02-13T17:13:00.001-08:00

I saw a picture on Pinterest today of a woman with an incredible body in a bikini and the Helvetica words scrolled across the sand, "Still want that cookie?" And I thought to myself. "Yes. I wanted all three of them, and I enjoyed every bite." : )

I actually have been taming my sweet tooth that seems to arrive every year at the holidays. By Spring it naturally gets replaced with a craving for fruits and salads and salmons (and okay, burgers!)... but by then, there's a bit of damage done and it's not quite rectified in swimsuit time.

But to be fair, I'll always be the girl who says "Eat the cookie. Take a lap." Because life is too short to not eat cookies. Ya know?

2012-02-13T12:39:00.000-08:00

You know those nights where your mind wants to run a freaking marathon? It's going at 500 miles an hour and you don't understand how it's missed the whole 4am memo? Gotta love those, especially on Sunday nights. Here's to triple tall americanos, and the drip chasers one and two.

I think I slept about an hour last night.

A little trick I learned in MCs to stay awake: just keep drinking.
I've finished two full water bottles and those three cups of coffee and it's not even lunch yet.
: /

2012-02-12T12:40:00.000-08:00

'Yes,' he said in a voice indescribable, 'you are right. I am afraid of him. Therefore I swear by God that I will seek out this man whom I fear until I find him, and strike him on the mouth. If heaven were his throne and the earth his footstool, I swear that I would pull him down.'

'How?' asked the staring Professor. 'Why?'

'Because I am afraid of him,' said Syme; 'and man should not leave in the universe anything of which he is afraid.'

DeWorms blinked at him with a sort of blind wonder. He made an effort to speak, but Syme went on in a low voice, but with an undercurrent of inhuman exaltation: 'Who would condescend to strike down the mere things he does not fear? Who would debase himself to be merely brave, like any common prize-fighter? Who would stoop to be fearless - like a tree? Fight the thing that you fear...'

...

'Young man,' said the Professor pleasantly, 'I am amused to observe that you think I am a coward. As to that I will say only one word, and that shall be entirely in the manner of your own philosophical rhetoric. You think that it is impossible to pull down the President. I know that it is impossible, and I am going to try it,' and opening the tavern door, which let in a blast of bitter air, they went out together into the dark streets by the docks.

-G.K. Chesterton, The Man Who Was Thursday

2012-02-11T15:32:00.000-08:00

4/25

2012-02-11T12:38:00.001-08:00

2012-02-11T11:52:00.001-08:00

2012-02-11T11:48:00.001-08:00

2012-02-11T11:16:00.001-08:00

One of my 25 goals for this year is to visit the Olympic National Forest. Do you realize we really do live in one of the most beautiful places in the world? And we take weeks off to go travel other places, but how often do we give a day just to enjoy our own state? Hike a mountain and take in a spectacular view, drive for a few hours to sit in a forest amidst trees that are older than our great grandparents, older than our cars, our houses, our streets, phones, laptops, cell phones? Older than ANY cell phone. Older than the world that consumes our days. How often do we give one day to float down a river, sit beside a lake, or maybe just fish? I know I don't spend nearly enough time enjoying the beauty of this state. And I want to, in all its different facets of beauty - one of the greatest being the Olympic Forest.

2012-02-11T11:13:00.000-08:00

2012-02-10T15:45:00.000-08:00

He has them all copyrighted so I can't even grab them to show you... but this guy's flickr stream is pretty cool. Look at this one, and then look at the rest of them! (Braden, you especially.)

2012-02-10T15:10:00.000-08:00

"Here's the rub.." - just overheard one of the contractor's say that in a meeting with a couple of our team. :) I think Cheree is wondering why I suddenly snickered. Ah, there's the rub. (teehee. Shakespeare nerds among us, snicker.)

2012-02-10T15:07:00.000-08:00

One of my guy friends asked yesterday, "How do you fall in love with a character in a book?" I said, "Sometimes it's hard not to. It's dangerous!" And is it ever. Meg has said more than once in the past few months, "The problem is, we fall for characters." (note the double meaning.) It's hard not to fall for Peeta though, it really is.

Do guys really not fall for girls in books? I know they do for girls in movies - so maybe it has something to do with the difference of girls being more emotional and guys being more visual? We don't need to see his face, we can imagine it - we just need to know who he is - know he's loving and strong and kind and gentle - know he'd lay down his life for the one he loves, or fight. And that's more than enough for us. In fact, we'd almost rather not see his face then, we're too afraid it won't be as we pictured it... the experience of reading a book and meeting the characters becomes deeply personal and when it's suddenly turned into a film you have to expand your experience to allow others in - others who are coming in to "interpret" and negotiate the experience for you now. And I don't always like that. :/

2012-02-10T14:50:00.000-08:00

So the girls in my office informed me I have a two-year commitment to the office. Why? Because they have decided they want to take part in Product Runway next year. And they aren't too happy that their previous model left (ahem, Emily). I have not signed any agreement forms. And I informed them I have poor posture... Their response? "You don't need good posture, you just need to sell it." Apparently everyone involved has to be part of the firm - though I'm having a really hard time believing that all of these runway models are actually part of architecture firms. :/ Still, the competition does sound pretty cool - all of these dresses were created by architecture/ design firms that have been paired with a company that creates some kind of architectural product.... tiles, furniture, etc... which is what the dress is then created from.

Despite all of my "no's", one of the girls ended the conversation in the most optomistic tone, "So, you in?!" Ha. I told her seeing as I have two years to gain enough confidence, get in shape, and decide that I love them enough to actually humiliate myself on a runway.... there is hope. A very small hope."

2012-02-10T14:25:00.000-08:00

Truly giddy. It could be that I'm about to finish my book (such a good feeling!). Could be that I had a nice little walk on my lunch, that included a couple quick stops for girly little treats (new brushes and some Lush treats). Could be that I finally got a look at the part of the job that I took the job for. Could be that I work with really nice people. Could be that it's Friday. Could be that nothing has gone how I've wanted - and today, I am completely okay with that. Could be that the air is still cold enough to make my hands hurt just a little, and I love that feeling. It makes me remember that life is not comfortable and great things at great cost really ought to be done. That trips should be taken, words should be said, pain should be felt, and love should be given. Yes, somehow the cold that bites my fingertips reminds me of these things.

And I'm giddy, sipping a cup of afternoon coffee, complete with my favorite creamer.

2012-02-10T11:24:00.000-08:00

LBL, I got. The new boss, I'm having a tougher time figuring out. He's funny. But in a totally different way than I usually get.

Today, as we walked into the parking garage he usually stows his car at he pointed to a box of donuts just sitting on a random space, "Want a donut?" Me: [laugh] "Sick." Him: [looks at me.] "They have them every Friday." Me: "Oh. I thought you were kidding." : / "Well, I actually did want a donut this morning - I bought one." Him: "I saw that." [awkward long pause] "I can spot a donut from a mile away." Unlocks the car.

A few days ago I added my thoughts on some office decorating. He just looked at me and said, "Katrina, Ryan and I were having a private conversation." They were standing at my desk.... in our big open shared-space office. I'm still not sure he was entirely kidding... but after a moment, he smiled and said, "I'm kidding." But then to add to the wonderfulness of interacting with this man he genuinely couldn't understand what I was saying, and suggested, "We'll need you to draw it." To which I replied, "I am not letting all of you see my sketching." Ryan just added, "Oh yeah, just go ahead and hop on AutoCat" - the program they all use which of course I have no clue how to even....open.

This is going to be fun... I'm going to have to think of an abbreviation for the new boss. Though, I feel a bit more hesitant about writing about him - he seems more, real-life and has definitely shown himself already to be a great (normal) boss.

2012-02-10T09:21:00.000-08:00

Drip coffee with the tiniest bit of cream, and an old fashioned donut, Good Morning, Friday!!

Also today, I get to finally start doing the part of my job that I've been excited about!! In an hour or so I get to go to a pre-submission meeting for a job we are going to bid for. I know, sounds thrilling, right? But after three weeks of accounting and invoicing, and then archiving and more accounting - I'm silly happpy to be getting to use words in full sentences again! Yesterday I helped reformat a Specs doc for some Construction Documents and I was more than happy to be back in my safe homeland, Microsoft Word. Excel and me, we've kind of been on a common friends type basis - he's part of the family of one of my best buds, so we've sat at the dinner table together a few times and maybe even discussed a film or two, but we don't really spend a lot of quality time one on one. He's helped me with some to-do lists, and we've even got in a fight once. But these past three weeks we've spent a LOT of time together, and while I'm finally beginning to learn he's really smart and is way more complicated and deep than most people see, I don't really see this thing between us turning into anything like love. Maybe respect, and a healthy working relationship where we both get each other and try to help one another maximize our potentials. But it's Word that I'll always feel comfortable with and at the end of the day want to cuddle up on the couch beside. We get each other. We make each other laugh and smile and when we run into issues, we always figure out how to resolve them.

So yes, today, is going to have more Word in it, and some new (and old, old) friends, like Photoshop. And that is a good day. I'm looking forward to getting more involved in the marketing aspects of my job.

2012-02-10T08:53:00.000-08:00

My address book is about to get a full on make-over. It seems most everyone in my life is either getting married (new address and new last name) or moving! Seriously. Pretty much everyone. And then there are all the "maybe" movers too! I'm holding myself in the posture of 'excited' and fighting the panic, because when I stop to reflect on each of them individually, I am so excited to see the people I love stepping in to the callings on their lives. They're coming alive. I think this is why so many of us have had this steady flow in to our minds and hearts that we need courage.... that we need to take risks. It was so that we'd make these moves, we'd say yes, take chances and fight for the dreams that have been dormant in our hearts. We're a generation of travelers - of movers - of reconcilers - of bridge-builders. I can count off people who are deeply grafted in my heart and life all across the country - and some in other countries. And I'm not unique in that... I think it's part of what our generation is to be about. We can build deep and still build far. And we can stay connected and grounded and still spread out.

That said, when I take a step back and survey this mass movement, I smile. You know, there's a rumor going 'round. ;)

“This world is a great sculptor’s shop. We are the statues and there’s a rumor going around the shop that some of us are someday going to come to life.”

― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

2012-02-09T20:31:00.001-08:00

2012-02-09T20:30:00.001-08:00

2012-02-09T20:28:00.001-08:00

2012-02-09T15:14:00.001-08:00

It's February - just let me. ;)

[from here.]

2012-02-09T15:13:00.001-08:00

[from here.]

2012-02-08T21:12:00.000-08:00

Some day, when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you
And the way you look tonight.

Yes you're lovely, with your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft,
There is nothing for me but to love you,
And the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fear apart
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
It touches my foolish heart.

Lovely, never, ever change.
Keep that breathless charm.
Won't you please arrange it ?
Cause I love you, just the way you look tonight.

Writer: JEROME KERN, DOROTHY FIELDS

2012-02-08T21:10:00.001-08:00

2012-02-08T21:08:00.001-08:00

2012-02-08T21:00:00.001-08:00

Sometimes we are closer to our goals than we realize.

Love it when that happens.

2012-02-08T20:59:00.001-08:00

2012-02-08T16:59:00.000-08:00

Because some men can.

And probably should.

2012-02-08T16:50:00.001-08:00

Because, though we may have forgotten for a week, it is still winter in Seattle. And it will be for quite some time, friends. Sorry. We've just got to choose to re-engage ourselves.

Photo credit for once.

2012-02-08T16:47:00.000-08:00

Mom, don't look.

2012-02-08T15:29:00.000-08:00

We are over 1/12th of the way into 2012. Did you realize that? Yes. Well, we are. I haven't flossed enough times for it to be February already. Nor have I practiced my violin enough. Or written enough short stories. So, that's how I'm doing on my goals, the written and unwritten. How about you?

That being said, I'm thinking today about how well I let things go. Or rather, how unwell I do. I like to take risks, I like to love and forgive and be daring. I'm pushing myself to be a brave person in action, not just in thought. I'm okay with being uncomfortable - or I make myself be. But, I'm not so good with the fallout of those things yet. I still hate making mistakes. I still don't forgive myself very well. I still don't know how you just don't let those things be you... but keep moving forward uninhibited. It feels like that's more the battle and requires more courage than any of the original choices or decisions ever did. Letting yourself make mistakes seems to be more about after you realize you've made a mistake - it's not nearly as hard before, because you're still thinking it's not a mistake when you're making it. Right?

I love the picture going around that says "Breathe out yesterday, breathe in today." Being the silly girl I am sometimes, I was physically making myself do this the other day. I started thinking, "It's really hard to exhale, before you inhale." (seriously, just breathe out right now.) So, I've begun telling myself "Breathe in courage." I think after that, it's a lot easier to exhale. Let out the past. Get over your mistakes. Evaluate and move forward.

That's where I'm at. 1/12 of the way through the year. I'm right on track for some goals, I'm behind in a few others, and some I haven't even begun. But my biggest goal for this year is to become freer, and to move forward, to live bravely - so I'm not letting the little things (or the big ones) stop me. And while I seem to be more aware than ever that I can't just make myself feel or be certain ways... I can keep moving, and keep breathing in courage from a source beyond myself. And maybe if I breathe in enough, I'll stop breathing out fear and frustration and start breathing out pure bravery. And I can't help but wonder what that would do - breathing bravery on this world?

2012-02-08T11:05:00.001-08:00

Why must today be so...............slow?

2012-02-08T10:13:00.001-08:00

2012-02-08T09:02:00.000-08:00

The Easton Corbin concert last night was a blast.

I left a bigger fan then I came. My highlight of the show was definitely when he sang "Run." He's adorable, and he sounds just like George. Of course I was thrilled. I also got to enjoy the show with 5 wonderful friends.

We asked him if he'd do a human pyramid with us for our photo. Well, I asked him, because we figured it gave us better odds than if Erik or Allan did it. As you can see, he was a bit confused and thrown off guard by it... : / So were Meg & T.

It's a nice picture and all... but he missed the opportunity to be part of this.

Awesome is a shape.

So many fun moments to the night, I woke up laughing (inside).

So.... what I'm trying to say is, thank you guys for helping us all get there.

Signed, "Katrina Hope" ;)

2012-02-07T09:29:00.000-08:00

Tonight - it's Easton Corbin.

Next weekend, Steady Skies release party.

Two days later, Julia Fisher.

March 31, The Lumineers.

April 25th, Coldplay.

That's about as diverse a concert series as you can get. Especially when you consider the last concerts I went to were Death Cab & TH&TH, The Civil Wars and Future for Forestry. Oh yes, and somewhere before that, U2. :)

2012-02-06T22:12:00.001-08:00

Undecided.

2012-02-06T15:49:00.000-08:00

Ten minutes in to a discussion in our weekly office meeting, I realized I hadn't exactly been listening. I had been writing a poem in my head, that took the ideal concept of a heart floating "up up and away" - turned it into a ship (like Captain Hook's) sailing through the sky - and then turned it into my felled heart. Yep, chopped down piece of wood. That's what my head was doing while the group was discussing complex architectural plans that require 5 different sets of grids in order to maximize a complicated space (for the record of those who care - when I returned to the conversation, I recognized the description as the building that houses 50 North in the U District). Yep. Happy Monday. :)

2012-02-06T14:49:00.000-08:00

Just realized I have 5 weddings before mid-August.

Dang.

'tis the season to wed.

2012-02-06T07:13:00.000-08:00

The older I get, the more I find my jewelry style becoming like my mom's - and the more I find myself sneaking into her jewelry box to look, and perhaps to borrow. ;) I am not much of a jewelry girl. Never have been. I like earrings, and some necklaces. I rarely ever wear rings. But this past summer I realized I want special jewelry to pass to my girls one day - rings not just from my 30's and 40's and on, but something special from my 20's, maybe something I bought myself because it was beautiful and bold.

Of course, my dad has now given me a special ring for my teen's and one for my 20's. :)

2012-02-06T07:06:00.000-08:00

Favorite Old photo. We took this at Jeff & Elise's first apartment, a month or so after they were married. Love these two men deeply, so grateful for them, and so incredibly grateful for their other halves they've found since. ;)

2012-02-06T07:03:00.000-08:00

Craving violin strings on my finger tips. That sharp straight pain that just melts into music. Usually in the quiet of the morning I think of it most.... it's also when I definitely can't pull it out unless just to hold it, slide my fingers from position to position in my unsteady and unsure way.

Someday, at 7am, I will pull it out and play away.... though that day is probably a VERY long way away. ;)

Is that a viola? Might be.

2012-02-05T17:59:00.000-08:00

3/25

2012-02-03T14:24:00.000-08:00

Days like today are trouble. They get us all thinking spring is right around the corner, pulling out our shorts, craving ice cream (I'll be getting Molly Moons within the next hour). But don't forget, we just had a snow storm two weeks ago people. It is February and we live in Seattle. Yet every year it seems we get fooled - we get a few pretty days and our hearts start to pitter patter for the summer - and then we have an eternity of chills and rain.... I keep reminding myself "It's not real. It's not real." But even now I can hear the sax player down on the street blowing his crazy tunes and the breeze I swear sounds just like a "summer breeze". The sky scrapers are all reflecting a perfect bright blue. I swear it should be spring today and summer by tomorrow. Oh geez.

No matter, I'm getting ice cream.

2012-02-03T11:18:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you learn lessons the easy way, sometimes the hard. And sometimes you learn them by droppnig the whole huge water jug on your finger. : / I'll be keeping my fingers clear next time I help refill the water. Ouch.