In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt.
- Margaret Atwood
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Friday, March 29, 2013
[I've] Learn[ed] the difference between a man who flatters you and a man who compliments you. A man who spends money on you and a man who invests in you. A man who views you as property and a man who views you properly. A man who lusts after you and a man who loves you.
- (via ohlady)
Thoughts I have.
I have a lot of them. I wrote a post a couple weeks ago about Meg's hair. I never had a chance to type it out of course - but it was there in written, mental form. (note, mental.) Her hair is luxurious. It's amazing. There is so much of it. And it will hold a curl from dawn to two dusks! I see it pre-coffee from time to time and its unicorn-like-wild-glory compels me to awe and anger.
Learning. Odd how terrifying the idea of learning something new can become as we grow older. And exciting. But unlike the first 18-22 years of our life, we have to choose to want to learn. Choose to be excited. Choose to be confident that we can learn. We psych ourselves out and then we lose out - because we've forgotten how incredible it feels in that very moment when you just discover something you had never known before! It lasts only seconds. But it's a rush to the head! I'm not talking about when someone tells you how to do it - I'm referring to the experience of struggling to comprehend, to appropriate and to apply a new concept to your daily life, be it in work, relationships, home organization or your own mental world.
I have a lot of them. I wrote a post a couple weeks ago about Meg's hair. I never had a chance to type it out of course - but it was there in written, mental form. (note, mental.) Her hair is luxurious. It's amazing. There is so much of it. And it will hold a curl from dawn to two dusks! I see it pre-coffee from time to time and its unicorn-like-wild-glory compels me to awe and anger.
Learning. Odd how terrifying the idea of learning something new can become as we grow older. And exciting. But unlike the first 18-22 years of our life, we have to choose to want to learn. Choose to be excited. Choose to be confident that we can learn. We psych ourselves out and then we lose out - because we've forgotten how incredible it feels in that very moment when you just discover something you had never known before! It lasts only seconds. But it's a rush to the head! I'm not talking about when someone tells you how to do it - I'm referring to the experience of struggling to comprehend, to appropriate and to apply a new concept to your daily life, be it in work, relationships, home organization or your own mental world.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Week two is through! Praise the Lord! What a busy and rough week it was too. Long hours at work and plans most every night. I'm looking forward to a hopefully slower week - less deadlines (perhaps) and less evening commitments. More sleep. Less acid reflux? :/ I'm also hoping to put my new crockpot to good use for a meal or two this week.
Feeling my insides are being rearranged a bit - and I'm grateful, because they are in need of it. Spring always seems to be the time when we realize not only do our closets need a good purge, but so do our hearts and minds and habits.
Hoping you all are well and sense the Spring is coming. Love you! xoxo
K. Hope
Feeling my insides are being rearranged a bit - and I'm grateful, because they are in need of it. Spring always seems to be the time when we realize not only do our closets need a good purge, but so do our hearts and minds and habits.
Hoping you all are well and sense the Spring is coming. Love you! xoxo
K. Hope
Saturday, March 16, 2013
I made it! First week at the new job complete. And what a ride it has been. I forgot how uncomfortable it really is to start at a new company - and had no idea just how terrifying it can be too. After a week of not sleeping, and busy days that flew by... I am exhausted. It was sometime Thursday afternoon when I finally started to feel good and the full I can do this conviction seeped back into my brain. When I grabbed my purse and headed for the bus, I was happy. I had just worked an 11 hour day and I was so happy. I nearly teared up on the bus. I am sure there will be plenty of challenges I will face in this new workplace. I will dislike things. Maybe even people. But, I like my job. And I have a huge suspicion that it is going to stay that way. In fact, I think as time goes, I will like it even more. I spent all week working on those projects that I considered the best of days at my last job. When they arose, I'd stay late, come in early, work weekends and when John would ask how my day went I'd respond with a smile, "I spent it in Photoshop." That was code for a good day. Most days I responded something about Excel, QuickBooks, phones. To each their own, but that ain't my own. I know my kind. My kind is craft. And my craft is writing! And now, I get to spend my days writing and designing, for an excellent company.
You guys, I have a library. A real library - all art and business focused! And a librarian. In addition to all the books, there is a full wall of magazines to check out - from fashion to typography, architecture (duh) to the Harvard Review. A wall. :)
I am happy. I like what I'm doing - and I want to become excellent in my craft! This is a blessing I am not about to take for granted - liking my job.
You guys, I have a library. A real library - all art and business focused! And a librarian. In addition to all the books, there is a full wall of magazines to check out - from fashion to typography, architecture (duh) to the Harvard Review. A wall. :)
I am happy. I like what I'm doing - and I want to become excellent in my craft! This is a blessing I am not about to take for granted - liking my job.
Friday, March 08, 2013
"To say YES to Jesus we must also say no to something else. A YES is always accompanied by a no. To be a world class musician, athlete, or actor, it means you have to know what your distractions are going to be and have a plan to overcome them.
We have to affirm the need for person discipline and develop a desire for it. We have to endure hardness, learn to persist when people around us want to give up, and cultivate perseverance as a way of life. Some people call it obsession because it suits their own purpose. It's PASSION - an intense enthusiasm for something, and it requires disciplined pursuit and a focus of intention that mediocre people never attain."
We have to affirm the need for person discipline and develop a desire for it. We have to endure hardness, learn to persist when people around us want to give up, and cultivate perseverance as a way of life. Some people call it obsession because it suits their own purpose. It's PASSION - an intense enthusiasm for something, and it requires disciplined pursuit and a focus of intention that mediocre people never attain."
[via Braden, via Linda & Laurie]
Thursday, March 07, 2013
Remember how I said I was gonna celebrate? Oh I did. Oh I am. :) Last night my Beau met me in the lobby with a hug and a congratulations. We headed to the end of the block for drinks at RN 74 before whisking to Esther's for a night of scheming and dreaming over a table of delicious and beautiful artistry.
I have reserved the next two days for cleaning and organizing my life - for resting. In Celtic mythology and literature there is much to be said about the 'time between time' - it is dusk - it is magic - it is that intangible moment between one concrete thing and another. Transition. I have carved out 4 days for my time between times. My own transition, internally before externally. This has been such a long process!!!! And suddenly, at 5:25pm yesterday, I was no longer employed by Weaver. I no longer answered phones or coordinated billing for hundreds of complex projects. I no longer managed an office.
John had requested just one of my mornings, "to help you rest", he said. He woke me up this morning, "Congratulations on your unemployment." We drove to a new coffee shop in our sweats, picked up pastries at a famous Scandinavian bakery we had yet to visit. My favorite part of the morning came right after that, we drove to his house. Took off our shoes, grabbed blankets, our coffees and pastries and then he grabbed the remote. I asked, "Are we going to watch a movie?" (This whole morning was a surprise of course.) "A show?" "Yes, kind of." The screen lit up. Looney Tunes! This man. This man. I tried to tell him a week ago about the cartoons my sister and I would watch whenever we got a chance - an old VHS full of "50 of the Greatest Cartoons." For years, Kristin and I tried to keep a list of all the shows in order. We never could get all of them written down. And eventually, the movie disappeared. (We know who.) I have bought several DVDs in hopes that they are THAT collection, but they never quite right. I told Beau I'd love to spend a morning just watching old cartoons sometime. This morning, we watched Bugs heckle Fudd for an hour before heading off to brunch reservations. :)
We've been trying to get to Lola's for a breakfast for a few months now - so this part I was able to guess... the only part of the morning I figured out at all. Afterwards, John says it was the best breakfast he's ever had, and while the man does have a penchant for hyperbole, I think this was no exaggeration. It was the sort of breakfast where you eat twice as much as you thought possible because you can't bear to stop. DELICIOUS. We ordered the pancakes and the Greek Breakfast and split both before wrapping up the meal with the doughnuts (we weren't going to miss another chance, Linda!). They were incredible with our final sips of coffee.
Now, he's off to an afternoon of meetings and I've a room to put back in order, a car to clean and a laptop on which to do a bit of surgery. So grateful for this small window in time, this time between the times.
I have reserved the next two days for cleaning and organizing my life - for resting. In Celtic mythology and literature there is much to be said about the 'time between time' - it is dusk - it is magic - it is that intangible moment between one concrete thing and another. Transition. I have carved out 4 days for my time between times. My own transition, internally before externally. This has been such a long process!!!! And suddenly, at 5:25pm yesterday, I was no longer employed by Weaver. I no longer answered phones or coordinated billing for hundreds of complex projects. I no longer managed an office.
John had requested just one of my mornings, "to help you rest", he said. He woke me up this morning, "Congratulations on your unemployment." We drove to a new coffee shop in our sweats, picked up pastries at a famous Scandinavian bakery we had yet to visit. My favorite part of the morning came right after that, we drove to his house. Took off our shoes, grabbed blankets, our coffees and pastries and then he grabbed the remote. I asked, "Are we going to watch a movie?" (This whole morning was a surprise of course.) "A show?" "Yes, kind of." The screen lit up. Looney Tunes! This man. This man. I tried to tell him a week ago about the cartoons my sister and I would watch whenever we got a chance - an old VHS full of "50 of the Greatest Cartoons." For years, Kristin and I tried to keep a list of all the shows in order. We never could get all of them written down. And eventually, the movie disappeared. (We know who.) I have bought several DVDs in hopes that they are THAT collection, but they never quite right. I told Beau I'd love to spend a morning just watching old cartoons sometime. This morning, we watched Bugs heckle Fudd for an hour before heading off to brunch reservations. :)
We've been trying to get to Lola's for a breakfast for a few months now - so this part I was able to guess... the only part of the morning I figured out at all. Afterwards, John says it was the best breakfast he's ever had, and while the man does have a penchant for hyperbole, I think this was no exaggeration. It was the sort of breakfast where you eat twice as much as you thought possible because you can't bear to stop. DELICIOUS. We ordered the pancakes and the Greek Breakfast and split both before wrapping up the meal with the doughnuts (we weren't going to miss another chance, Linda!). They were incredible with our final sips of coffee.
Now, he's off to an afternoon of meetings and I've a room to put back in order, a car to clean and a laptop on which to do a bit of surgery. So grateful for this small window in time, this time between the times.
Wednesday, March 06, 2013
Tuesday, March 05, 2013
[Uncertainty is so uncomfortable]
Starting a new job next week, I don't know when. I don't know what time I will wake up each day, arrive to work, head out. I don't know what I will do or how I will like it. I know they hired another new marketing person as well - I don't know if they are my age, younger, older - man or woman. I don't know if they'll be my boss or right beside me on that ladder. I know so very little about this new world I'm heading in to in just a few days.
In a relationship that is moving forward, but that definition ("forward") is yet to be discovered. We just know we aren't stuck. And we know we aren't going back. But there is a lot of unknowns in any human relationship as you build.
I like to plan.
Maybe I'll go do my taxes so I can at least feel like I know something about what's coming - even if it's just an approximate number on a check in the mail.
Sometimes this is where we grow. When we see no walls.
Choosing to be excited. This is what I've wanted. It's just also really, really uncomfortable.
But, it will be good.
It gets better.
I have two beautiful things in my life: a new job and an amazing relationship. And just enough unclarity to keep me moving, learning, stretching toward these two beautiful figures in my future.
I have two beautiful things in my life: a new job and an amazing relationship. And just enough unclarity to keep me moving, learning, stretching toward these two beautiful figures in my future.
Monday, March 04, 2013
Today starts my last week with Weaver. In fact, today means 3 days to go. This will be my last couple times pulling up the blinds, last couple times making a pot of coffee (here), last couple times changing the server tape, sitting in on the all office meeting, and answering the phones.... praise God for that one especially!! Doing my best to finish at my best and be the greatest help I can in my final hours. But boy - sunny blue skies outside and I sure want to check out!!
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