My Uncle Bob.  This man means more to me than almost anyone walking on this earth.  He is more family to us than our family. Somewhere between 30 and 40 years ago, he started teasing my dad at work.  Giving him crap.  Their preferred method of conversing.  Soon, he became one of his closest friends - and eventually changed his life.  Then my mom's life.  My sisters' lives.  And mine.  There is no one like him on this earth.  And I love him with all my heart. 

11/20

Hank Bought a Bus

My newest obsession.  I've had a hard time keeping focused at work this week.  Not so much that I want to surf the web or go explore - I just find myself staring.  A lot.  At home too.  But when I'm done staring - then I find myself clicking through my standby links, until my mind is collected and I'm ready to return to the world that feels less like reality - yet, requires my immediate presence.  This process, led me here, to Hank Bought a Bus... and I think it will soon become my new addiction.

An architect student. A photographer.  A refurbished old bus.  And a road trip.
How could I resist their invitation to follow?

Oh, and my other, older secret web addiction?  Forty Days of Dating. It's day 35!! It's a bit TMI at times - but I am so enthralled by their honest evaluation and the study of their behaviors, tendencies and desire to grow. Not to mention - they are so freaking creative!

Both series are going on right now - so go check them out now or you'll miss the joy of walking out the adventure with them and the discovery along the way!

40 Days of Dating – Tied Up from 40 Days of Dating on Vimeo.

Please pray for my Godfather, Bob Evans.  He is one of the most important men in my life - as well as my entire family's lives - and he is currently in the ICU.  

I want to keep my sweater on.  I can feel the heat on my face, and water sounds better than the hot cup of coffee before me.  But I want the comfort.  The clouds are deep in the sky and from a glance out the window, you'd be convinced it were chilly and crisp.  So my mind registers: Fall.  You need your sweater, with its warm soft knit sleeves folded around you.  And you need that cup of coffee, seeping happiness and strength down your throat and into your soul.

Only, I'm sweating.  And it's muggy.  And I might even be dehydrated.

But I won't give in.  I'm on Pinterest, searching recipes.  I used my crockpot last night and made a magical, delicious impromptu chili.  I don't know if it is really chili, but it had beans and chicken and a tomatoesque sauce, so we called it chili. The perfect "fall" meal.

Pinterest is amazing.  You type in "crockpot recipe" and hundreds of pins come up.  You type in "400 calorie meal" and dozens upon dozens fill your screen. Today, I'm going to type in "400 calorie crockpot recipes"  - I'm pretty confident Pinterest will be up to the challenge.

My arms feel naked - I'm putting my sweater back on.

PS - The berries killed last night.  We won something like 5-0.  And even scored while playing a man down.  Magically, somewhere in the second half, we learned to pass, and communicate on the field. About an hour in to a tied match, we just transformed.  And I loved playing soccer again!!! After 2 blown attempts, I placed one, left footed, it just felt right.

"Success doesn't happen in a day, it happens in decades."  

Decades of work, marbled with moments of doubt. 


At some point we have to get comfortable with planning in years and working through them.  Setting not "one year" goals, but 5 year goals.  Being content to work at a place and not get a promotion every 6 months.  Not get stuck - but not be so concerned about "feeling stuck" just because we hate feeling still. You should leave bad jobs -  ones where you're not growing or being challenged.  You should leave them at the right time.  But the jobs we usually want to leave the most are the ones that are growing and challenging us - just not in fun, feel good, change the world and earn fame every day ways.

We've got to work to stay on target.  We'll need to readjust course at times.  But we'll also have to learn to work, at one thing, for years.  We'll have to find it more important than good feelings of "changing the world." Otherwise, we'll likely never have the skill set capable of turning over a rock, let along the world.  The world doesn't need any more amateur world changers - it needs disciplined young adults, with fires that have burned so long that they aren't flames on wicks, but coals, steady, hot and hard to blow out.

I hate to say it, but you've got very little to give the world today.  Sure, you can toss it in. Or you can try to grow it - grow that one tiny thing you were given, whatever it is, for four years in college.  For 10 years after college.  Grow it.

Our savings accounts don't become 10 digit numbers in college or immediately in the first few years after - why do we expect our skills are different?

Sorry to share the pep talk - I just had to give it to myself this morning.  Sometimes, I come across writers who are younger than me and far more skilled.  And I look at my job - where I've now been 5 months - and I panic ever so slightly.  I like my job.  I've worked hard to get here, and I've stayed 100's of days at other jobs after hitting what I would have sworn was my breaking point.  But even here, at this job I really like, where I'm growing in all the feel-good ways I'd hoped, I still get uncomfortable thinking of being here for five more years.  Even three. That means I'll be working here when I turn 30.

But then I remember the truth:  I have very little to give the world today.  I have a handful of skill, less than many.  I tend to be impatient, with people, myself, and time.  I lack love.  And I'm getting more and more out of shape.

If I want to be any of the things I've felt called to in my life - I have to get comfortable with work, for years at a time.  Because we aren't called because of our born-ability and wonder-like charm and skill.  We're called to take a seed and grow it.

We Are But Little Children Weak

We are but little children weak,
Nor born in any high estate;
What can we do for Jesus’ sake,
Who is so high and good and great?

We know the holy innocents
Laid down for Him their infant life,
And martyrs brave and patient saints
Have stood for Him in fire and strife.

We wear the cross they wore of old
Our lips have learned like vows to make;
We need not die; we cannot fight;
What may we do for Jesus’ sake?

O day by day each Christian child
Has much to do, without, within;
A death to die for Jesus’ sake,
A weary war to wage with sin.

When deep within our swelling hearts
The thoughts of pride and anger rise,
When bitter words are on our tongues,
And tears of passion in our eyes;

Then we may stay the angry blow,
Then we may check the hasty word,
Give gentle answers back again,
And fight a battle for our Lord.

With smiles of peace and looks of love,
Light in our dwellings we may make,
Bid kind good humor brighten there,
And still do all for Jesus’ sake.

There’s not a child so weak and small
But has his little cross to take,
His little work of love and praise,
That he may do for Jesus’ sake.

Music: Al­stone, Christ­o­pher E. Will­ing, in the Ap­pen­dix to Hymns An­cient and Mo­dern, 1868 (MI­DI, score).

Keep watching - past all the obnoxious teenage girl screaming - because the speech is pretty incredible. Gotta say - I loved him.... since he FIRST got cool.  Because let's be honest, Chris was never not cool.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fepUlDbx5Y&feature=youtu.be


PS Good thing my boyfriend is one of the smartest, kindest, most thoughtful men walking around. ;) 

10/20 

Halfway to my 2013 goal. 

Off with my Boise boy!!

See you all on Monday! xo

Happy Anniversary

My parents met today, forty-seven years ago, at the Seattle Seafair Hydroplane Races. 

Happy Anniversary Dad & Mom! So happy you found one another... and flirted. <3 font="">

While you might think me super-social (or not)... I come from a long line of introverts.  My poor mom, she doesn't understand why we all have to be alone to refuel.  Sweet extrovert in a family of intros. Perhaps this will help you understand.  It's not that we don't like people, it's just that they make us tired.  

In high school, I made up fake curfews so I could go home early from "hangouts." 

I'd pretend to be on the phone when I had to run back in after youth group to grab something I forgot - just so I wouldn't get pulled back into conversations.  (That trick still serves me well when needed.)

I got annoyed at my friends for sitting on my lawn, refusing to leave until I hung out with them. Mumsy threatened to ground me for being rude - grounding seemed fine with me- after all I just wanted to finish my book!! And we had hung out SO MUCH!

My roommate was afraid to tell people about a show we bought tickets to last week, because she assumed I'd be bummed if the group got too big.  

If I have a big party at my house - I immediately want to leave it.  

But I love people. :/  

Go figure. 

I don't take nearly enough time to sit and meditate.  After cleaning up my room last night I sat on my bed and pulled out an old scrap book full of cards that have been given to me and special words spoken over me.  It was only 20 minutes or so, but it was encouraging.  I like being reminded that I'm the same person I was 9 years ago; sometimes I feel so disconnected from that girl.  I live in a completely different world - I spend my days mostly with a new set of people, in new surroundings, analyzing new information, being perceived in new ways and processing through new thoughts.  I don't feel I'm in too much danger of losing my true self... not really any way, but I do feel the tiredness of it all, of moment by moment being so many other things in the eyes of other people. It's nice to sit on my bed, and be just me, just by myself with no room for misconceptions.