Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Today is hard. Somehow, pictures help.
Amazing how seeing the right photographs and reading the right words, can strike something inside you, and feed the little bird called hope.
They pick up your eyes and lift you out of the small pit you've become consumed in. Remind you: life is big and your dreams are real- more real than the circumstances that surround you.
Amazing how seeing the right photographs and reading the right words, can strike something inside you, and feed the little bird called hope.
They pick up your eyes and lift you out of the small pit you've become consumed in. Remind you: life is big and your dreams are real- more real than the circumstances that surround you.
Today's theme: Confessions.
Friends, forgive me, for yesterday I listened to Christmas music. I know, I know. I appear like a hypocrite. But, it was an act of selfless love. ;)
No, but really. I do not like listening to Christmas music before its time. In fall, I listen to jazz. Lot's of it. And folk. I love Michael on an evening while I make dinner or sip cider with friends. I love Norah on a rainy afternoon (or Saturday morning) as I curl up with a book in my room, or in the family room with a fire. I love Nat (actually- I prefer him in the summer at dusk for some reason). I love Frank and Ella as November rolls around. Yes, all of it. Love it. But I will not listen to anything that Jingles, Jangles, or smells like lyrical pine or holly! No, that is for the days that follow Thanksgiving! To each its own music!
Yes, my family has called me the tradition natzi. And yes, I take my responsibilities as the keeper of all that is sacred very seriously.
Christmas music, you are lovely. I wait all year for you. And I love our time together. But our time is from the day after Thanksgiving, until the day OF Christmas. After that, it is New Year's time. Then, it is my time. Then, love's time.
But yesterday, while driving with my dear friend Megs, upon request... and in celebration of the first snow of season... I let Frank and Ella sing us a few carols. And we did Jingle and Jangle, and deck the halls with those balls of that holly.
Too much of a good thing may not be bad, but it sure can get bland, and there is no way I'm letting my Christmas music get bland. Oh no- don't fall into the obvious misconception that because I am not listening to it that I am not thinking of it. On the contrary. It is the expectation and anticipation of it that I love almost as much as the thing itself. I LOVE CHRISTMAS. I love SURPRISES! I love guessing and hoping and trying to figure out what I am getting... but only if I don't actually figure it out. I love the excitement of waiting. I love how everyone is sharing in that same excitement, and it creates its own scent in the Winter air. Christmas is coming!
But first, Thanksgiving is here. And it deserves to be relished and cherished. Hugged and doted on like the middle child. Thursday morning, I will wake and listen to my mom in the kitchen. Cabinets shutting. Pots clinking. The sink running. But I won't get up. I'll wait. Then I'll hear it start, what must happen before I can get up and brush my teeth and cuddle up on the couch to the parade. Yes, the turkey must fly. "Gobble, gobble gobble" "Get in the pan!" In a heroic episode, my mom will fight the turkey, wrestle it through every bedroom and back up to the kitchen, where she will finally lay that beastly bird to its final breaded rest.
Then, Kristin and I will slip out of the house, pajamas and slippers as our array, we'll whisper and giggle, trying to be unnoticed. Until out feet hit the top stair and the laughter bursts out as we dart for the door- mom shouting after us. If it hadn't happened for the past 5 years, she migth truly be surprised. But no, the shouting just turns into something like "Get me one!"
We'll return with our hands full of extra hot beverages, sealed with the siren... cinnamon rolls coming out of the oven in perfect time. Then, it's the parade... maybe a nap or a book. Finally, we'll all receive our assignments in the kitchen, mashed potatoes, fruit salad, bread into the oven. (The olives will have been mostly eaten by me already). Dad will come out from his den to carve the turkey. And eventually we will all gather around the table.
The table, don't worry, I haven't forgotten. You see, the table is my favorite part. I love to decorate. And I love holidays. So it follows naturally that I claim the task of decorating the table. I used to spend the month before looking through magazines and online for clever ideas. Now, mom tends to pick up things she thinks I'd like, and that match her design... and we make something of it.
You see, I know that these things will happen on Thursday. I also know that other unexpected things will happen. Unexpected people will likely sit down to our table too. And I love that as well (Once I choose to get over the fact that I hadn't had time to make them the matching name setting as the rest of us... I now make a few 'guest' ones too typically). But just because I know these things will happen on Thursday, doesn't mean I try to start doing them today... oh now, it is the expectation of them that I love just as much as I will the moment of their actual happening.
So let the Christmas music rest. Wait for it. Anticipate it. Love it. But do not listen to it. Instead, embrace this season, and give thanks.
I know, I know, the theme wasn't really confessions. It was more traditions or holidays, I confess. ;)
Friends, forgive me, for yesterday I listened to Christmas music. I know, I know. I appear like a hypocrite. But, it was an act of selfless love. ;)
No, but really. I do not like listening to Christmas music before its time. In fall, I listen to jazz. Lot's of it. And folk. I love Michael on an evening while I make dinner or sip cider with friends. I love Norah on a rainy afternoon (or Saturday morning) as I curl up with a book in my room, or in the family room with a fire. I love Nat (actually- I prefer him in the summer at dusk for some reason). I love Frank and Ella as November rolls around. Yes, all of it. Love it. But I will not listen to anything that Jingles, Jangles, or smells like lyrical pine or holly! No, that is for the days that follow Thanksgiving! To each its own music!
Yes, my family has called me the tradition natzi. And yes, I take my responsibilities as the keeper of all that is sacred very seriously.
Christmas music, you are lovely. I wait all year for you. And I love our time together. But our time is from the day after Thanksgiving, until the day OF Christmas. After that, it is New Year's time. Then, it is my time. Then, love's time.
But yesterday, while driving with my dear friend Megs, upon request... and in celebration of the first snow of season... I let Frank and Ella sing us a few carols. And we did Jingle and Jangle, and deck the halls with those balls of that holly.
Too much of a good thing may not be bad, but it sure can get bland, and there is no way I'm letting my Christmas music get bland. Oh no- don't fall into the obvious misconception that because I am not listening to it that I am not thinking of it. On the contrary. It is the expectation and anticipation of it that I love almost as much as the thing itself. I LOVE CHRISTMAS. I love SURPRISES! I love guessing and hoping and trying to figure out what I am getting... but only if I don't actually figure it out. I love the excitement of waiting. I love how everyone is sharing in that same excitement, and it creates its own scent in the Winter air. Christmas is coming!
But first, Thanksgiving is here. And it deserves to be relished and cherished. Hugged and doted on like the middle child. Thursday morning, I will wake and listen to my mom in the kitchen. Cabinets shutting. Pots clinking. The sink running. But I won't get up. I'll wait. Then I'll hear it start, what must happen before I can get up and brush my teeth and cuddle up on the couch to the parade. Yes, the turkey must fly. "Gobble, gobble gobble" "Get in the pan!" In a heroic episode, my mom will fight the turkey, wrestle it through every bedroom and back up to the kitchen, where she will finally lay that beastly bird to its final breaded rest.
Then, Kristin and I will slip out of the house, pajamas and slippers as our array, we'll whisper and giggle, trying to be unnoticed. Until out feet hit the top stair and the laughter bursts out as we dart for the door- mom shouting after us. If it hadn't happened for the past 5 years, she migth truly be surprised. But no, the shouting just turns into something like "Get me one!"
We'll return with our hands full of extra hot beverages, sealed with the siren... cinnamon rolls coming out of the oven in perfect time. Then, it's the parade... maybe a nap or a book. Finally, we'll all receive our assignments in the kitchen, mashed potatoes, fruit salad, bread into the oven. (The olives will have been mostly eaten by me already). Dad will come out from his den to carve the turkey. And eventually we will all gather around the table.
The table, don't worry, I haven't forgotten. You see, the table is my favorite part. I love to decorate. And I love holidays. So it follows naturally that I claim the task of decorating the table. I used to spend the month before looking through magazines and online for clever ideas. Now, mom tends to pick up things she thinks I'd like, and that match her design... and we make something of it.
You see, I know that these things will happen on Thursday. I also know that other unexpected things will happen. Unexpected people will likely sit down to our table too. And I love that as well (Once I choose to get over the fact that I hadn't had time to make them the matching name setting as the rest of us... I now make a few 'guest' ones too typically). But just because I know these things will happen on Thursday, doesn't mean I try to start doing them today... oh now, it is the expectation of them that I love just as much as I will the moment of their actual happening.
So let the Christmas music rest. Wait for it. Anticipate it. Love it. But do not listen to it. Instead, embrace this season, and give thanks.
I know, I know, the theme wasn't really confessions. It was more traditions or holidays, I confess. ;)
Friday, November 19, 2010
Theme of the day: Things I love.
1. Cracked pepper. I love Specialty's Bakery because they put cracked pepper on this delicious little treat called a turkey, swiss and cream cheese croissant. They also put it on the bacon and turkey breakfast sandwich I am eating right now (they decided bacon + turkey = turkey bacon. It's more meat then I've had the last month combined, but it's covered with cracked pepper, so, I'll eat it!)
2. Cilantro. A year or two ago I suddenly became addicted to cilantro. I still am. I will sit and chew no it plain. And pretty much eat anything that has it sprinkled on it. I feel about cilantro the way most people feel about bacon (don't get me wrong, I like bacon too).
3. Gingerbread. I LOVE half white mocha/ half gingerbread lattes. Love.
4. Eggnog lattes (from Cafe Vita). Kristin and I have walked down to Cafe Vita twice this week.... even though it is like 6 blocks away. We actually managed to find an 'errand' that put it 'on the way' (sort of). We also managed to find a book sale while on that errand... or rather, it found us. And I now own 10 books from the Life Cooking Book Series. Also, a "Growing and Cooking With Your Own Herbs" book. Guess what I'm going to grow? ;) (Hint: see 2)
5. Autumn. 'Nough said.
6. Breakfast. I think I like breakfast more than dinner. This has something to do with the fact that most of my life, I've gotten sick after dinner. But breakfast never seems to make me feel sick. :/ Not sure what that is. Also, I just love how people are at breakfast... just waking up, the whole day ahead of them. People are themselves at breakfast. They're unshowered (usually), unmade up, they have to trust the people at their breakfast table. I don't know- I just love it. Dinner is fun too- but it has protocol and standards and appearances and courses. Breakfast has food. And coffee. Maybe juice. If it has courses, it's lavish not just 'expected.'
7. School. I miss it. I heard in a song the other day "If you're too school for cool..." And I laughed. That's me. No reason to argue or pretend. I miss school. I love being able to pick my own books these days and spend more time with people, but I miss school. I miss class discussions, and questions that lead to discovery and new information and understanding. I miss the pain of learning. I miss writing assignments, creative assignments, reading assignments, group assignments! lol. I miss my crazy classmates.
8. Reading.
9. Fires.
10. Hot drinks. Any and all (pretty much).
11. Walks
12. Running
13. Live music. Music is just better live.
14. Memories. (happy ones- or ones that make you happy now looking back.)
15. Family.
16. Kids. They are amazing. They are always willing to forget and move on... to make a new friend, have a new adventure, create a game, laugh, cry, scream, be and love being. They love without worrying if they should or shouldn't, or haven't enough. (Yep, making myself miss the Ruff kids now).
17. Creating. Be it drawing, coloring, designing, scribbling, sowing, anything. Time spent being creative.
18. Architecture. The study of the history of it. The appreciation of it all around. The combination of utility and beauty amazes me. We take it for granted nearly every moment of our lives. But it is remarkable and stunning. I can't wait to travel Europe, looking on all it's structural wonders.
19. People. Loving people. Getting to know them as they really are- as how they see themselves, as who they want to be, as who God sees them to be. And loving them into that. We are such interesting creations- how we grow and change, and how we can keep one another boxed in, or allow each other space to change and create. How we dream and hope and love. I know my calling is related to this. To bringing people in to something, and creating a place for them. I don't think I am a people pleaser (at least not any more), I think that's because God's kept me in a place where I know I can't please everyone at once, and so I have to just please Him and be content to love the rest. But that said, I'm one of the richest when it comes to people... I have such incredible treasures in my life!! And I just want to learn to steward and care for them.
20. Mushrooms. Last winter I made my cousins stuffed Portobella mushrooms for dinner, with a spinach, chicken and mushroom salad. Found out Katherine doesn't even like mushrooms. Yeah, felt a little bad for that one, but it has definitely become a joke for when I offer to make them a special dinner. :)
21. Spinach. Love it. Lettuce in general in fact- good fresh, crisp lettuce I'll eat plain!
22. Cheese. Yep.
23. Vegetables. Pretty much any. My mom and I go crazy when the Yakima Fruit Market opens each Spring!
24. Brushing my teeth. Feels so good! I keep a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse... just in case I get a moment.
25. Being read to. I've always loved it. My dad spoiled me as a kid. I used to get kristin to read to me too- even through college :) We also had a record player that would 'read' stories to me if no one else did. I loved that thing!
26. Elephants. Love the big creatures, with their ancient looking skin and tender-seeming demeanor.
27. Black Pilot Precise V5 (and V7) pens.
28. Random hello texts/emails.
29. Letters in the mail.
30. Pajamas/Sweats. There is nothing like the feeling of coming home and putting on sweats and just cuddling up.
PS. I do not love the song, "These are a few of my favorite things" and I especially do not love that people consider it a Christmas song. I just thought this was as good a time as any to get that off my chest.
1. Cracked pepper. I love Specialty's Bakery because they put cracked pepper on this delicious little treat called a turkey, swiss and cream cheese croissant. They also put it on the bacon and turkey breakfast sandwich I am eating right now (they decided bacon + turkey = turkey bacon. It's more meat then I've had the last month combined, but it's covered with cracked pepper, so, I'll eat it!)
2. Cilantro. A year or two ago I suddenly became addicted to cilantro. I still am. I will sit and chew no it plain. And pretty much eat anything that has it sprinkled on it. I feel about cilantro the way most people feel about bacon (don't get me wrong, I like bacon too).
3. Gingerbread. I LOVE half white mocha/ half gingerbread lattes. Love.
4. Eggnog lattes (from Cafe Vita). Kristin and I have walked down to Cafe Vita twice this week.... even though it is like 6 blocks away. We actually managed to find an 'errand' that put it 'on the way' (sort of). We also managed to find a book sale while on that errand... or rather, it found us. And I now own 10 books from the Life Cooking Book Series. Also, a "Growing and Cooking With Your Own Herbs" book. Guess what I'm going to grow? ;) (Hint: see 2)
5. Autumn. 'Nough said.
6. Breakfast. I think I like breakfast more than dinner. This has something to do with the fact that most of my life, I've gotten sick after dinner. But breakfast never seems to make me feel sick. :/ Not sure what that is. Also, I just love how people are at breakfast... just waking up, the whole day ahead of them. People are themselves at breakfast. They're unshowered (usually), unmade up, they have to trust the people at their breakfast table. I don't know- I just love it. Dinner is fun too- but it has protocol and standards and appearances and courses. Breakfast has food. And coffee. Maybe juice. If it has courses, it's lavish not just 'expected.'
7. School. I miss it. I heard in a song the other day "If you're too school for cool..." And I laughed. That's me. No reason to argue or pretend. I miss school. I love being able to pick my own books these days and spend more time with people, but I miss school. I miss class discussions, and questions that lead to discovery and new information and understanding. I miss the pain of learning. I miss writing assignments, creative assignments, reading assignments, group assignments! lol. I miss my crazy classmates.
8. Reading.
9. Fires.
10. Hot drinks. Any and all (pretty much).
11. Walks
12. Running
13. Live music. Music is just better live.
14. Memories. (happy ones- or ones that make you happy now looking back.)
15. Family.
16. Kids. They are amazing. They are always willing to forget and move on... to make a new friend, have a new adventure, create a game, laugh, cry, scream, be and love being. They love without worrying if they should or shouldn't, or haven't enough. (Yep, making myself miss the Ruff kids now).
17. Creating. Be it drawing, coloring, designing, scribbling, sowing, anything. Time spent being creative.
18. Architecture. The study of the history of it. The appreciation of it all around. The combination of utility and beauty amazes me. We take it for granted nearly every moment of our lives. But it is remarkable and stunning. I can't wait to travel Europe, looking on all it's structural wonders.
19. People. Loving people. Getting to know them as they really are- as how they see themselves, as who they want to be, as who God sees them to be. And loving them into that. We are such interesting creations- how we grow and change, and how we can keep one another boxed in, or allow each other space to change and create. How we dream and hope and love. I know my calling is related to this. To bringing people in to something, and creating a place for them. I don't think I am a people pleaser (at least not any more), I think that's because God's kept me in a place where I know I can't please everyone at once, and so I have to just please Him and be content to love the rest. But that said, I'm one of the richest when it comes to people... I have such incredible treasures in my life!! And I just want to learn to steward and care for them.
20. Mushrooms. Last winter I made my cousins stuffed Portobella mushrooms for dinner, with a spinach, chicken and mushroom salad. Found out Katherine doesn't even like mushrooms. Yeah, felt a little bad for that one, but it has definitely become a joke for when I offer to make them a special dinner. :)
21. Spinach. Love it. Lettuce in general in fact- good fresh, crisp lettuce I'll eat plain!
22. Cheese. Yep.
23. Vegetables. Pretty much any. My mom and I go crazy when the Yakima Fruit Market opens each Spring!
24. Brushing my teeth. Feels so good! I keep a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse... just in case I get a moment.
25. Being read to. I've always loved it. My dad spoiled me as a kid. I used to get kristin to read to me too- even through college :) We also had a record player that would 'read' stories to me if no one else did. I loved that thing!
26. Elephants. Love the big creatures, with their ancient looking skin and tender-seeming demeanor.
27. Black Pilot Precise V5 (and V7) pens.
28. Random hello texts/emails.
29. Letters in the mail.
30. Pajamas/Sweats. There is nothing like the feeling of coming home and putting on sweats and just cuddling up.
PS. I do not love the song, "These are a few of my favorite things" and I especially do not love that people consider it a Christmas song. I just thought this was as good a time as any to get that off my chest.
Friday morning.
Friday's are wonderful. They are 'jeans day' at LLF. They are 'latte friday' at LLF. And Lars (one of the attorneys) and I just decided, they are Specialty's breakfast days at LLF.
Fridays are also when most of our seminars are scheduled for, for example... today. Our last Contracts & Lien Law in-house seminar of the year is scheduled for today. If we have two or less register, we cancel. We cancelled this seminar.
Only, our register online function on our website, is been disfunctioning. I know this because our last in-house seminar had three more attendees than I had planned for. Yes, I was three coursebooks short. I didn't have the name cards for three attendees. And didn't have any contact information for follow-up information, for three attendees. Maybe you're not realizing how much of a problem this caused. And what did all three attendees inform me when I asked them how they registered? "Oh, I registered online."
greeeat.
After a month of hackling and sending out borderline abusive emails to our IT guy, our website guy, and our accountant... it appears the issue has somehow been resolved. We've gotten some registration emails. Yet.. the problem is, you just don't know when you don't know- right? I mean, if you don't have the email, how are you to know you are missing it? (I hope you are all picking up on my intentional dramatization of this issue... because it's sort of my life right now. And hey- life is just more fun when it is dramatized.)
So...yesterday I made 4 of each type of course book they'd need for today's seminar. I went home last night and set my alarm an hour early. I got up, made a pot of coffee. Took a shower. Put on my beloved jeans (not my skinny jeans, ahem). I did my hair (bangs make that a requirement now- not sure why though since the walk from the bus to my building ensures they are a wild mess each morning when I arrive at work). I strolled into work 45 minutes early. Prepped the conference room as I would for a seminar day. And sat down to wait.
Every time I hear the elevator *ding* I look out past our glass doors into the hallway. No one.
It is now 8:35am. Seminar attendees are asked to arrive by 8:15am; however, they often arrive closer to 9am. I think we are clear.
Perhaps I forgot to explain why it is good we don't have a seminar today. Why in fact I called the one guy who registered last minute, in order to tell him we were cancelling the seminar. You see, Larry typically teaches the seminar. He's currently in Maui. While he can work from there, he can't exactly teach from there (though I could see him trying). David, his son, also often teaches this seminar. In fact, he is teaching it today... in Vancouver. That leaves Christian, who doesn't quite consider it his strong point. And Lars, who's never taught it before. They'd decided to split it up, one teaching Liens in the morning and the other teaching Contracts in the afternoon. But let me tell you, both were eager at the opportunity of cancelling.
8:39am. *ding* (It's Karen- the other attorney's assistant, phew.)
Today is going to be a lovely day. LOVELY. Theresa is coming down to meet me for lunch, and I think she is bringing a special friend for me to meet. :) Then, I get to have dinner with Bianca (and ?) and see Novalis at the Hard Rock Cafe.
Yes, lovely lovely day. And I had the greatest walk from 4th and Union this morning. I've decided I like getting off the bus early, it get's me to work a few minutes earlier and allows me to see more of the beautiful Seattle each morning. Today I wandered pasy Lully Yang (Linda & Jordyn, she has new incredible dresses in the window!! It's more from the Ocean Line.)
8:43am. *ding* (Kristin.)
Friday's are wonderful. They are 'jeans day' at LLF. They are 'latte friday' at LLF. And Lars (one of the attorneys) and I just decided, they are Specialty's breakfast days at LLF.
Fridays are also when most of our seminars are scheduled for, for example... today. Our last Contracts & Lien Law in-house seminar of the year is scheduled for today. If we have two or less register, we cancel. We cancelled this seminar.
Only, our register online function on our website, is been disfunctioning. I know this because our last in-house seminar had three more attendees than I had planned for. Yes, I was three coursebooks short. I didn't have the name cards for three attendees. And didn't have any contact information for follow-up information, for three attendees. Maybe you're not realizing how much of a problem this caused. And what did all three attendees inform me when I asked them how they registered? "Oh, I registered online."
greeeat.
After a month of hackling and sending out borderline abusive emails to our IT guy, our website guy, and our accountant... it appears the issue has somehow been resolved. We've gotten some registration emails. Yet.. the problem is, you just don't know when you don't know- right? I mean, if you don't have the email, how are you to know you are missing it? (I hope you are all picking up on my intentional dramatization of this issue... because it's sort of my life right now. And hey- life is just more fun when it is dramatized.)
So...yesterday I made 4 of each type of course book they'd need for today's seminar. I went home last night and set my alarm an hour early. I got up, made a pot of coffee. Took a shower. Put on my beloved jeans (not my skinny jeans, ahem). I did my hair (bangs make that a requirement now- not sure why though since the walk from the bus to my building ensures they are a wild mess each morning when I arrive at work). I strolled into work 45 minutes early. Prepped the conference room as I would for a seminar day. And sat down to wait.
Every time I hear the elevator *ding* I look out past our glass doors into the hallway. No one.
It is now 8:35am. Seminar attendees are asked to arrive by 8:15am; however, they often arrive closer to 9am. I think we are clear.
Perhaps I forgot to explain why it is good we don't have a seminar today. Why in fact I called the one guy who registered last minute, in order to tell him we were cancelling the seminar. You see, Larry typically teaches the seminar. He's currently in Maui. While he can work from there, he can't exactly teach from there (though I could see him trying). David, his son, also often teaches this seminar. In fact, he is teaching it today... in Vancouver. That leaves Christian, who doesn't quite consider it his strong point. And Lars, who's never taught it before. They'd decided to split it up, one teaching Liens in the morning and the other teaching Contracts in the afternoon. But let me tell you, both were eager at the opportunity of cancelling.
8:39am. *ding* (It's Karen- the other attorney's assistant, phew.)
Today is going to be a lovely day. LOVELY. Theresa is coming down to meet me for lunch, and I think she is bringing a special friend for me to meet. :) Then, I get to have dinner with Bianca (and ?) and see Novalis at the Hard Rock Cafe.
Yes, lovely lovely day. And I had the greatest walk from 4th and Union this morning. I've decided I like getting off the bus early, it get's me to work a few minutes earlier and allows me to see more of the beautiful Seattle each morning. Today I wandered pasy Lully Yang (Linda & Jordyn, she has new incredible dresses in the window!! It's more from the Ocean Line.)
8:43am. *ding* (Kristin.)
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
I'm waiting, without knowing what I'm waiting for. And so, I just keep waiting.
And I'm wondering, is hope supossed to hurt? Because sometimes, hoping hurts. Does that mean my hope is not set on what it ought to be? I think perhaps so. For I've been told hope does not disappoint.
Lord, let love grow in my heart, strong and true. Let roots of hope find solid ground to grow...let them reach deep into You. That though my eyes don't know what to look for, and my hands aren't sure what they should reach for, that the roots will know their branches and the hope will see it's truth.
Still no word on Cambridge. And so many other hidden things.
And I'm wondering, is hope supossed to hurt? Because sometimes, hoping hurts. Does that mean my hope is not set on what it ought to be? I think perhaps so. For I've been told hope does not disappoint.
Lord, let love grow in my heart, strong and true. Let roots of hope find solid ground to grow...let them reach deep into You. That though my eyes don't know what to look for, and my hands aren't sure what they should reach for, that the roots will know their branches and the hope will see it's truth.
Still no word on Cambridge. And so many other hidden things.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
I felt so dead tired this morning, and stiff to boot (thank you hot yoga). Suffice to say, I was running a little late by the time I reached the bus stop. But as I rode in, I decided taking a later bus was worth it. Why?
Because the little girl sitting on front of me (probably a month or two older than Auri) on her mom's lap was one of the happiest baby girls I've seen, and with the prettiest brown eyes and long lashes. She decided I was going to be her friend for the busride. Eventually, after much giggling and smiling, we were engrossed in a game of peekaboo that had her parents turning around to see. She was sweet, and made my morning full of joy. I love how a little kid can do that- stranger or not. Never underestimate the power of a sincere smile, and smiling eyes.
Perhaps one more reason to be child-like.... or just make lots of babies. ;)
Because the little girl sitting on front of me (probably a month or two older than Auri) on her mom's lap was one of the happiest baby girls I've seen, and with the prettiest brown eyes and long lashes. She decided I was going to be her friend for the busride. Eventually, after much giggling and smiling, we were engrossed in a game of peekaboo that had her parents turning around to see. She was sweet, and made my morning full of joy. I love how a little kid can do that- stranger or not. Never underestimate the power of a sincere smile, and smiling eyes.
Perhaps one more reason to be child-like.... or just make lots of babies. ;)
Monday, November 15, 2010
I just got the greatest text...
I'm so in love with this little girl, who would have known 20 years ago when I was playing with Elise's dollies just how much I'd love playing with her little dolly so many years later. Elise, you are such a great mommy. And Jeff, such an amazing dad already. Love you Mitchell family, and I especially love these little texts. She's precious and her auntie kati wishes she could squeeze and smooch her every day! What perfection and joy.
PS, I told Jeff I couldn't wait til Auri was playing with the bunny I bought her (as she's just reaching the age of a new sort of 'playing')... he sent me this pic this morning, just a few days later. :)
I'm so in love with this little girl, who would have known 20 years ago when I was playing with Elise's dollies just how much I'd love playing with her little dolly so many years later. Elise, you are such a great mommy. And Jeff, such an amazing dad already. Love you Mitchell family, and I especially love these little texts. She's precious and her auntie kati wishes she could squeeze and smooch her every day! What perfection and joy.
PS, I told Jeff I couldn't wait til Auri was playing with the bunny I bought her (as she's just reaching the age of a new sort of 'playing')... he sent me this pic this morning, just a few days later. :)
This was such an incredible weekend.
I was feeling worn down, and hurried by life. I decided to take a personal day and set it for Friday, a week out (now, last Friday).
I then set up hair appointments for my mom and I, and scheduled breakfast with my mom and dad for Maltby (my favorite breakfast place).
When Friday rolled around, I was like a little kid. Strike that, I was like the little kid I am. Just like holidays, I rolled out of bed, ran upstairs and crawled into their bed and woke them up. I haven't had time with just me and my parents in a long time it feels and I was pretty excited.
Being that I had a hair appointment at noon, I decided washing my hair would be silly (besides, they say your color will set better if it is not freshly washed). So, I put on some casual clothes, tied the hair back in a pony tail, washed my face, brushed my teeth and journeyed out.
My parents left five minutes (at least!) before me, so I assumed they'd have already arrived at Matlby. I parked and hurried in. Walking down into the cafe, I peaked across the tables and saw a couple familiar faces. Not my parents. Oh no. Well of course the morning I expected to see no one, I would run across several of my closest guy friends randomly out to breakfast at 10am on FRIDAY!?
I genuinely tried to hide as I peaked through the shelves along the entry area, scanning for my parents in the tables. Within a few seconds I see Braden waving, then Joel and Nate. Caught. They waved me over. Somehow I had beat my parents. The guys could tell I was caught off guard and a bit embarassed. So of course, they did what they do best... they teased.
My parents showed up soon after. Breakfast. Hair. Then my mom decided we should get our nails done, since we both had the day free. After nails, it only seemed right to make sure our nails were dry by wandering along the little shops on Mainstreet. We ended up at an antique store, admiring old hats (we share a love of vintage hats). I spotted some more along the floor and as I pointed, we both spotted a little black beauty.
As an audible sigh of surprise and excitement escaped both of our mouths, I dropped to my knees to get a better look at the little black typewriter. "I wonder if it works!" I said, and my mom sent me to the man at the front of the store to ask him. He assured me it did and pulled it out and set it on a table with a sheet of paper.
"Do you want it? I'll get it for you." My mom offered. I was so excited! She informed me she'd left her name and number at several stores already with the request that they call if a typewriter is brought in.
I suposse it has already been over a year since I spotted a typewriter while at an antique store with my friend Theresa. I loved it. But I couldn't afford it. Months later my parents were away on vacation, and their room had an old antique typewriter on the desk. They took a picture, thinking 'Kati would love this.' And I did. As I understand it, that began my mom's search for the gift.
My typewriter is perfect. Truly, truly perfect. It is classic and beautiful, timeless and working! Kolleen's remark was, "It's like a little baby grand." And I guess it is my little baby grand: I plan to compose something beautiful on those keys. Aesthitically she is on to something too, with its shiny beautiful black frame. I've already written a letter on it. Turns out, I need some practice.
That was just the beginning to my wonderful weekend. Meg's arrived a couple hours after mom and I got home and set my little treasure on my desk. She spent two nights, and we had such an incredible time. Other surprise visitors came over Friday and we enjoyed a non-traditional time of pumpkin bread, caramel apple cider, fairytales, Byron, TS Eliott, and Monty Python with a wonderful fire. I love fall.
Saturday, I was blessed to enjoy the women's holiday brunch between Meghan and a new friend Emily. Meg and I returned home and back to our pajames and the fire, enjoying West Side Story after soup and bread. Tea. Then Pho with our Pho-loving friend, and then Emerge. Red Robin after (at the fun end of the table- with my Toni, her Ali, Megs, Emily, Heidi and my Twin-Todd.) Sunday just continued the enchantment of the weekend. Greeting at church, a timely word, time by an open fire with my typewriter, then a nap, bible study, molly moons (with emily for her first time) and swing dancing.
In all, it was the amazing blessing of time with family, new friends, old friends, and soon-to-be 'old friends' with just a splash of quiet time alone by a fire. :)
What a weekend. I feel blessed... and filled up.
I was feeling worn down, and hurried by life. I decided to take a personal day and set it for Friday, a week out (now, last Friday).
I then set up hair appointments for my mom and I, and scheduled breakfast with my mom and dad for Maltby (my favorite breakfast place).
When Friday rolled around, I was like a little kid. Strike that, I was like the little kid I am. Just like holidays, I rolled out of bed, ran upstairs and crawled into their bed and woke them up. I haven't had time with just me and my parents in a long time it feels and I was pretty excited.
Being that I had a hair appointment at noon, I decided washing my hair would be silly (besides, they say your color will set better if it is not freshly washed). So, I put on some casual clothes, tied the hair back in a pony tail, washed my face, brushed my teeth and journeyed out.
My parents left five minutes (at least!) before me, so I assumed they'd have already arrived at Matlby. I parked and hurried in. Walking down into the cafe, I peaked across the tables and saw a couple familiar faces. Not my parents. Oh no. Well of course the morning I expected to see no one, I would run across several of my closest guy friends randomly out to breakfast at 10am on FRIDAY!?
I genuinely tried to hide as I peaked through the shelves along the entry area, scanning for my parents in the tables. Within a few seconds I see Braden waving, then Joel and Nate. Caught. They waved me over. Somehow I had beat my parents. The guys could tell I was caught off guard and a bit embarassed. So of course, they did what they do best... they teased.
My parents showed up soon after. Breakfast. Hair. Then my mom decided we should get our nails done, since we both had the day free. After nails, it only seemed right to make sure our nails were dry by wandering along the little shops on Mainstreet. We ended up at an antique store, admiring old hats (we share a love of vintage hats). I spotted some more along the floor and as I pointed, we both spotted a little black beauty.
As an audible sigh of surprise and excitement escaped both of our mouths, I dropped to my knees to get a better look at the little black typewriter. "I wonder if it works!" I said, and my mom sent me to the man at the front of the store to ask him. He assured me it did and pulled it out and set it on a table with a sheet of paper.
"Do you want it? I'll get it for you." My mom offered. I was so excited! She informed me she'd left her name and number at several stores already with the request that they call if a typewriter is brought in.
I suposse it has already been over a year since I spotted a typewriter while at an antique store with my friend Theresa. I loved it. But I couldn't afford it. Months later my parents were away on vacation, and their room had an old antique typewriter on the desk. They took a picture, thinking 'Kati would love this.' And I did. As I understand it, that began my mom's search for the gift.
My typewriter is perfect. Truly, truly perfect. It is classic and beautiful, timeless and working! Kolleen's remark was, "It's like a little baby grand." And I guess it is my little baby grand: I plan to compose something beautiful on those keys. Aesthitically she is on to something too, with its shiny beautiful black frame. I've already written a letter on it. Turns out, I need some practice.
That was just the beginning to my wonderful weekend. Meg's arrived a couple hours after mom and I got home and set my little treasure on my desk. She spent two nights, and we had such an incredible time. Other surprise visitors came over Friday and we enjoyed a non-traditional time of pumpkin bread, caramel apple cider, fairytales, Byron, TS Eliott, and Monty Python with a wonderful fire. I love fall.
Saturday, I was blessed to enjoy the women's holiday brunch between Meghan and a new friend Emily. Meg and I returned home and back to our pajames and the fire, enjoying West Side Story after soup and bread. Tea. Then Pho with our Pho-loving friend, and then Emerge. Red Robin after (at the fun end of the table- with my Toni, her Ali, Megs, Emily, Heidi and my Twin-Todd.) Sunday just continued the enchantment of the weekend. Greeting at church, a timely word, time by an open fire with my typewriter, then a nap, bible study, molly moons (with emily for her first time) and swing dancing.
In all, it was the amazing blessing of time with family, new friends, old friends, and soon-to-be 'old friends' with just a splash of quiet time alone by a fire. :)
What a weekend. I feel blessed... and filled up.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Another one of these days. :(
Oh heart, Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him… Psalm 37:3-7
Oh heart, Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him… Psalm 37:3-7
Oh man, I got blown away by some great poetry last night... I'm half inspired, half discouraged. One of the guys was 18 and he could write! I kept repeating lines in my head after him, hoping I could commit them to memory. Either way, I realized, I have to start taking more risks with my writing. I have to improve. I need to be doing something with it... and actually making writing a priority. It's great to train, and I know I will always be training in one sense, but then comes the time to do what you've been training for. The time to step out of the boat. That story has been lingering in my heart the past week... We need courage to do great things. I've learned that this past year or two. But courage comes when we hear Him over the crashing waves say, "Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid" (Matthew 14:27). I'm learning that right now. Courage is the response in our heart to hearing those words from God. Courage isn't something we muster up. At least, I don't think so. I'm listening, so I can get better at hearing those words over the waves... because I am sure if they really get into my heart, I'll respond like Peter, 'If it's You, command me to come to you.' And I'll step out of my little boat, being tossed by circumstances, and I'll wreally live the life I say I want to live where I go where He goes... I'll walk on the water.
A few favorites:
"Why can't a man be measured by his notes?"
"Is a man only as deep as the pool of blood he stands in?"
"I'd wear your smiles like metals."
-Gibson
Then there was another poet, a woman in her early 30's I'd guess. Her last poem blew me away...I want the words to it. She works with an organization called Youth Speaks and she'd written the poem to the young people she works with, addressing drug use.
"Have you ever bled sunrise and called it release?"
Wow, I love the power of the spoken word.
The poetry wasn't even the focus of the evening, it was a collaborative round of musicians... it was really quite cool. :)
It didn't hurt that I was sitting between Rose and Kristin. What a fun evening.
A few favorites:
"Why can't a man be measured by his notes?"
"Is a man only as deep as the pool of blood he stands in?"
"I'd wear your smiles like metals."
-Gibson
Then there was another poet, a woman in her early 30's I'd guess. Her last poem blew me away...I want the words to it. She works with an organization called Youth Speaks and she'd written the poem to the young people she works with, addressing drug use.
"Have you ever bled sunrise and called it release?"
Wow, I love the power of the spoken word.
The poetry wasn't even the focus of the evening, it was a collaborative round of musicians... it was really quite cool. :)
It didn't hurt that I was sitting between Rose and Kristin. What a fun evening.
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
"Sister we match!" -little sister
"No we don't at all. You are half business and half American Apparell model with that tank top. You should be wearing spandex." -big sister.
"Sister, you ARE wearing spandex...and a blazer. We match!" -little sister.
"You are right. Maybe we should trade tops? :/" -big sister
Steph's addition:
"I don't really coordinate. But, hey the holidays.. there you go." LOL
(maybe one of those thigns that is really only funny if you know Steph?)
"No we don't at all. You are half business and half American Apparell model with that tank top. You should be wearing spandex." -big sister.
"Sister, you ARE wearing spandex...and a blazer. We match!" -little sister.
"You are right. Maybe we should trade tops? :/" -big sister
Steph's addition:
"I don't really coordinate. But, hey the holidays.. there you go." LOL
(maybe one of those thigns that is really only funny if you know Steph?)
Monday, November 08, 2010
Just read this on a friend's blog. And it is exactly what I needed to read right now:
God may send you, dear friends, some costly packages. Do not worry if they are done up in rough wrappings. You may be sure there are treasures of love, and kindness, and wisdom hidden within. If we take what He sends, and trust Him for the goodness in it, even in the dark, we shall learn the meaning of the secrets of Providence. —A. B. Simpson
Sometimes obedience feels very costly. And fighting for a dream can look like letting other dreams die. I'm just hoping that things are not as they appear. Don't be caught up with how things appear. God loves to wrap trasures in clay, and pearls in dirt fields. He's not concerned with appearances. So I'm trying to not let myself be concerned either. This is not the end.
It only makes it doubly challenging when others misinterpret your behaviours... misreading your costly sacrifices as you not caring for what you are letting go.
But I know the Lord as my advocate. He's cleared my name before. He's uncovered a mess of things that I could never have made clear myself. I've only had to wait through it. So, I'm waiting again. And I'm learning even more to be content with being misunderstood, or not known by those I wish would see me as I am. The trend for me is facing things I cannot change, and having peace to wait.
God may send you, dear friends, some costly packages. Do not worry if they are done up in rough wrappings. You may be sure there are treasures of love, and kindness, and wisdom hidden within. If we take what He sends, and trust Him for the goodness in it, even in the dark, we shall learn the meaning of the secrets of Providence. —A. B. Simpson
Sometimes obedience feels very costly. And fighting for a dream can look like letting other dreams die. I'm just hoping that things are not as they appear. Don't be caught up with how things appear. God loves to wrap trasures in clay, and pearls in dirt fields. He's not concerned with appearances. So I'm trying to not let myself be concerned either. This is not the end.
It only makes it doubly challenging when others misinterpret your behaviours... misreading your costly sacrifices as you not caring for what you are letting go.
But I know the Lord as my advocate. He's cleared my name before. He's uncovered a mess of things that I could never have made clear myself. I've only had to wait through it. So, I'm waiting again. And I'm learning even more to be content with being misunderstood, or not known by those I wish would see me as I am. The trend for me is facing things I cannot change, and having peace to wait.
I had a fun weekend. :)
Dinner party with good (missed) friends, Seattle Green Day park project in the rain, surprise lunch with three amazing friends. Shopping with two of the greatest guys I know (and rarely see these days!). Early to bed, and early to rise. Coffee with Mrs. Carpenter at UCL in order to prep ourselves for the great duty of manning the women's holiday brunch registration table on the last Sunday to sign up. Fire. Tea. Music. Writing. Book club. Bible Study.
And now, it's monday morning, and I'm obeying directions to 'use the little moose.' Because, 'he's adorable.' I guess my Thanksgiving decorations around the office weren't quite enough...
Dinner party with good (missed) friends, Seattle Green Day park project in the rain, surprise lunch with three amazing friends. Shopping with two of the greatest guys I know (and rarely see these days!). Early to bed, and early to rise. Coffee with Mrs. Carpenter at UCL in order to prep ourselves for the great duty of manning the women's holiday brunch registration table on the last Sunday to sign up. Fire. Tea. Music. Writing. Book club. Bible Study.
And now, it's monday morning, and I'm obeying directions to 'use the little moose.' Because, 'he's adorable.' I guess my Thanksgiving decorations around the office weren't quite enough...
Friday, November 05, 2010
I went grocery shopping last night. Decided on my menu for tonight... when I get to serve some of my favorite people.
Rynnie, Resa, Megalicious, Steve-O & Mrs. Steve-O, Chaddymuffin, and Breezy. (And little brother, aka Beiber was supossed to be there, but has a debate. not happy).
It kind of grew bigger than I meant at first, and now I'm wishing I'd thought ahead to invite Boss Man, his wo-man, and 'little man' too!! :( We'd practically have the golden CP crew.
But yes, a few friends over for dinner. Something I plan to start doing more often. And I've already settled I'm going to leave early today. I'm just counting down til 3pm. We're under one hour. :)
Rynnie, Resa, Megalicious, Steve-O & Mrs. Steve-O, Chaddymuffin, and Breezy. (And little brother, aka Beiber was supossed to be there, but has a debate. not happy).
It kind of grew bigger than I meant at first, and now I'm wishing I'd thought ahead to invite Boss Man, his wo-man, and 'little man' too!! :( We'd practically have the golden CP crew.
But yes, a few friends over for dinner. Something I plan to start doing more often. And I've already settled I'm going to leave early today. I'm just counting down til 3pm. We're under one hour. :)
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