For the past 25 years, I have gone to family camp every single August.  I was 8 months old at my first one, and I've never missed a year since. 

For the past 3 years, we have owned the soccer tournament.  So far, no one else has held the title.  And I'd really like it to stay that way. 

But this year, it's looking like I won't be able to make it.  Especially not for Thursday, which is of course the soccer tournament. 

I'd basically just accepted that is how it has to be.  But looking over these photos, I'm having a really hard time letting that sit.   Currently, I'm scheming...

Dreaming of a 4peat. : )


Boys, I hope you kept your yellow shorts.... teehee.

I found my way to this article today, by a blogger I've never read.  A friend posted another article on Facebook that caught my eye and lead me to her page.  It connected so well with what I've been pondering lately.  And it made me realize that what I'm learning today will only become more and more important in the years to come in my life. 

I'm good at doing.  I really am.  Meg, one of my closest friends through my college years and now roommate, sometimes refers to me as "Doer".  I like to think of it as a term of endearment.  But, I'm not entirely sure it is.  I earned it because of my tendency to get up a dozen times and do things, while we are sitting, relaxing and reading.  I'll fold laundry.  Clean my room.  Move stuff.  Go make us tea.  And more tea.  Start dinner.  Check email.  There is always so much to be done.  And I usually feel I have to at least have "all my maids running" (as my mom calls it) before I sit down.  I get stuff done.  And I like that.  I also like being able to do things for others.  Which means, when I'm with people, it almost kicks into hydro gear.  And quality time to me, can look like doing something for someone I care about.

Only, for most people, watching me do stuff, doesn't transfer.  :/ 

On top of that, I'll be doing so much throughout my week, I'll give the people I most want to invest in, a tired, warn out girl.  I know my mom's wishing I'd mastered all this years ago - especially since she's the one who gets the most warn out, tired version of me.  Yes, the most un-kind Kati. :(

And that, is a shame.  Gosh, I want to get good at this.  I know I'm not in danger of ever becoming that person who just let's it all go... so you probably don't need to balance me right now.  Because, that voice is already in my head.  I'm warned.  What I want to learn is how to get what needs to get done,  how to be generous with my time and abilities, and also how to say no enough to keep full.  Full enough to be kind, to be sowing intentional seeds.  To be more than just getting by, and more than just 'spending time.' 

The article I read today was amazing.  Great to hear what really matters to the people who love us.

But boy is this hard when you're feeling torn in a number of directions.  You can't determine people's expectations of you, and keeping people feeling loved and important is sometimes difficult.  I sometimes think it will get easier when I have a husband to help me say "no."  Your priorities become clearer too.  I just know I don't really want to wait until then to get good at this skill - there are a lot of people to be kind to today.

You might have noticed there was no post yesterday.  That was because the only moments I was near a computer, was to watch a "show" in the morning with Auri, and to watch a movie in the evening with John. 

That's right! The countdown is over and John is back from Sweden.  I took the day off yesterday because I was having my 'best friend from birth' over for the night and her sweet girl Auri. I've had others over for pizza or drinks or what not, but this felt like my first official "dinner guests".  I had spent noon-9pm in the office Sunday and had worked 9 hours by 3:30pm on Monday.   So I headed home a bit early after turning in a big proposal for my firm.  I crawled into bed for a nap and woke to a phone call from Elise.  It was all heavenly.

I bought groceries and made dinner.  We drank "gin and sweet tea" with our chicken, pear, spinach and mushroom grilled wraps and then shared a bottle of wine and relished an amazing sour cream chocolate cake Elise had brought over.  Auri watched Peter Pan - and listening to her spontaneous giggles in the other room were a highlight of my night. 

We also enjoyed chalking up my sidewalk together.   The next morning that sweet doll was awake at 4:30am (bless all you moms out there - sweet Lord, how you do that every day I do not know!), Elise pulled her into bed with us and we slept for a few more hours.  At some point she decided to give me a "kiss" and fell asleep on top of me immediately.  For the next hour, Auri was stretched horizontally across with her head on me and her feet on Elise.  I didn't really sleep.  And I didn't really mind it.  When she woke up she looked up at my face and said, "I sorry" and then stretched out her little arm and smacked me in the face.  Premeditated if I do say so myself.  But she's a darling, and I'll let her get away with it.  

We took our time making breakfast, painting nails and getting ready and then headed down the street to the park.  What probably would be a 15 minute walk was something like a 30 minute walk - with a stop every few feet to "me hold?"  every flower, and examine every ant. 

At 10:30am, it was time to say goodbye - and for me to go say hello to someone else at the airport!! 

We spent the day relaxing and resting.  We took the bikes out for their first ride.  Flew a kite (or tried) at Gasworks park.  Ate dinner out on my lawn.  And just enjoyed that beautiful day, together.  We got some actual work done too - we both got laundry done, and I managed to find the Trader Joe's down the street and do a little grocery shopping. 

I cannot tell you how happy I am for it to be late July.  For my roommate to be home.  And my boyfriend back down the street. 

The last two days were lovely.  I only wish I could spend today doing the same things again. 

Heard it before?  Well hear it again. 

Perspective. 

Don't let fear of the future keep your feet planted at your door.

Why my office is basically empty right now.

.

Random memory: For a large portion of my childhood, I thought raccoons were pandas.  There used to be a lot of raccoons in the field behind the Sandstroms house.  And whenever anyone would see one through the window and try to point it out, I'd always get so frustrated why I couldn't see it.  I was looking for a panda.  Eventually I got it straight.  I think it had something to do with the little sets of animal families I played with as a kid.  There was a raccoon family and they were black and white, and the exact same size as the bear family.  :/  It made for a bit of a confusing childhood. 

Man I loved those little critter families. :)



Did any of you play with these as kids? Of all my friends, I don't think any of them had these actually.  I was in LOVE with them.  Especially the little babies in each family.  I still remember opening new ones at each pass on the way to "Antana" for Christmas when I was three or four.  I had the fox family, the bear family, the rabbit family and the raccoon family.  I loved them.  I had barbies, but these guys got way more play time.  Who wants to play with a tall thin blonde when you can play with a raccoon!?  I'm thinking I might pick up the foxes and elephants for my kids one day. :)
 
 



The Head & The Heart's album is currently just $2.99 on Amazon. ;) 

The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one's 'own', or 'real' life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one's real life—the life God is sending one day by day: what one calls one's 'real life' is a phantom of one's own imagination.


—CS Lewis, from a letter to Arthur Greeves, 20 December 1943

Bob n Lou n Me

Meet Bobbo and Lou Lou, my two oldest friends. I love these two with the deepest, oldest parts of my childlike heart! And I love their spouses, and their little baby girls. It's funny Elise just posted these photos, because last weekend I came across a photo board my sister Kim made me for high school graduation. There is a photo of Elise and I at the beach at about age 4. We've been doing the same thing for the 20 years since. There's also a photo of Robby and Me at about 2, sitting on my sisters' laps. I sat and stared at these photos, and the collection of others from over the years, and I thanked God for the friends in my life. For the times I wanted to slap them. And the times they slapped me. lol. ** The 4th member of "the neighborhood" is missing from these photos, but he's in a million others. The neighborhood would have been nothing without TyTy. ** Bobbo, LouLou, TyTy & Kate. I've been a very blessed girl over the years.

I feel like life lately is a daily lesson in being happy right where I am.  Not rushing.  Not pretending.  Just being content in this place.  And remembering that happiness is not a "one day" thing, it's a today thing.

I suddenly find myself with a certain fella who reads to me as I fall asleep, sends me letters from Sweden, and when I catch him staying up way too late online and assume he's playing a game on his iPad, he puts me to shame when he tells me he's actually reading a certain poetry blog. 

How did this happen?  :)

He's super private, and might even be bugged by my posting this.  But he's asleep in Sweden, while I'm distracted at work thinking how lucky I am.  So, this is what you get.  Deal with it, Sir.