Todays post isn't going to be so much of dishing about WHAT I've been up to. It's just my thoughts.

When you are away from "your life" for a while, it has some affects. For starters, all your friends become your favorite people in the world...you are too far away to be bugged by the silly little things that usually drive you nuts about them (hehe). Kim and Jason are probably going to get sick of listening to me pretty soon...with all my chatting about how great everyone is.

But the real thing thats on my mind right now is work. I have been away from my job, or jobs, for 3 weeks now. And I have been filling in here at Kim's law firm for the past 2 weeks. I keep thinking about writing. How am I going to get from here, to there? How am I going to be "a writer" who actually has articles printed and read by others- others who are strangers ;)

I am going to school, which I know is an obedient step- I know it's where God has me. But, should I be working in a place I can practice, and learn about writing? Shortly before I left, my manager asked me some similar questions. I have been so focused on wanting to be a help to my company, that I really haven't stopped to listen if its really a help to me. Sorry, I stumbled in writing that because I know it sounds selfish, but its true. I love the people at my company, I am learning A LOT about marketing and important business lessons. I even have it in the back of my mind to maybe double major and get something in marketing or communications. BUT, I don't want to get lead away from what I am really supposed to be doing. I also don't want to box God in, because who knows how my writing might play out-- maybe it will involve business??? (Though let me tell you, I have tried my hand at a couple press releases..not my forte.)

Business writing has already begun to help my style though, believe it or not. The first few things I wrote at work...I litteraly got laughed at for, and not in a playful manner. At least who I am working with, do not like cliches or typical marketing jargon- they are blunt. They want to say what we really mean, in as few words as possible. My style tends to be flowy, and it hurts a bit when I work hard to make it sound great and they cut it all up and keep on the parts which keeps it pumping. The body isn't so beautiful any more once you chop it up- when was the last time you saw a French painting of just a few pumpin organs lying on an examiners table? I hope NEVER is your answer.

But who knows, maybe this is just part of my training. Or maybe, its a season of waiting in the dungeon and doing my best while I am there...I guess thats a season of training too. But mostly I am wondering, am I supposed to be there right now?

My life is composed of so many parts and its hard to tell where I can remove, or should remove. School is coming shortly, and I will not be able to do all that I am able to through the summer- I will either need to quit one job (likely the coffee shop), or some how cut back..I will need to cut back on both regardless. I enjoy my marketing job, and I will likely remain there, its been a blessing in so many ways. But I want to make sure I keep my eyes on aim so I don't end up way to the right or left 10 years from now, wondering how I got there.

Like I said, just my thoughts. I feel a deeper urging to begin writing and really living in the now- and I am trying to find further details- what does that look like? I have even had several people tell me directly within the past few months "Now is the time to write" not to mention a number of different teachings and sermons from DIFFERENT people and places which have said, now is the time to begin doing what you were created to do...even adding "write books!" Crazy- huh?

Exciting! I just need to make sure I don't strangle out the exciting plans God is developing by my own busy schedule. I don't mind running hard and doing it all- but I need to know that I am not running in a million aimless directions.

The weekend before last, Kim and Jason were in Chicago and I stayed home and watched movies like I haven't in probably two years! I pulled out Pearl Harbor- a favorite, but one I rairly watch since it takes like 4 hours of your day! There was a line in it which I loved and keep thinking about. One of the officers asked a pilot, "Are you anxious to die?" And he replied, "Not anxious to die sir, just anxious to matter." I really love that!

Love you all! These are such exciting times, and I am grateful I get to live them with you!

Kd.