I have internet at home again! YESSSSSSSS! This means I will likely blog more often. Or at least, I will put a bit more effort in some of them. We had a post-encounter meeting this morning, and Tong made us another soaking CD- I was SO happy! There were a number of songs they played on the encounter that I loved- and they didn't make it on to the first CD...plus I have been replaying the first CD over and over, so I was real grateful for another one to set into the cycle. :)

So a man at church, who is realtively new from City Church, gave my parents a prophetic word today. I had to leave right when P. Norm finished speaking (I had to make it to work), but apparently he prophesied over mom, dad, the twins, and he gave them a word for me too. It was incredible! The things he said, he could not have known. I for one, was not even there, and mom said she didn't even know the things he was saying about me were true- but he said to them, "This isn't anything new to her. She already knows she is called to broken children." I don't know it all really, I have only heard bits and pieces, and I don't know it word for word, but when my mom called me on the phone and started telling me some of the thign she said, and I started laughing, she was like, "Really?" It lined up with a number of prophetic words I have been given. It's crazy! I've been inspired (and I can't remember if this is what inspired me, but I think I was thinking about this before too actually) to create a book of rememberence- a memorial of the words and promises God has given me, with the verbal prophetic words and the images he's shown me, I guess I will finally be writing my 'identity journal.' I'd even like to include a couple literary characters who most speak to my heart, and I believe I'm called to be like.

Well, I haven't been able to hear the whole prophetic word in detail, but I have heard most of it in pieces now I believe. Pretty exciting! I guess he wants to speak to me too, and tell me. Cool!

On another note, which I am tempted to mention on a very sad note, but immediately felt adjusted- because it's God's mercy that He is revealing this to me, and I am SO grateful....God has been showing me a lot of pride in me...A LOT. At first, I thought it was just a little, a little jealousy and judgementalism....the last 3 days, He's been showing me more and more of it in me, and I've been continually repenting and repenting. This morning, I wrote 'humility' on my wrist, as a reminder, and as a prayer. Well, today was certainly the greatest unveiling yet. I went to the Women's Meeting tonight, and lo and behold, what was Mrs. Marcy speaking on? PRIDE. Yep, I cried through I good deal of it. She simply read portions from this book she's been dwelling in. It lists out 30 fruits/signs of pride- oh my word! A number of the things I have been frusterated with in myself- were listed out as fruits of pride- INCLUDING FRUSTRATION. Ironic, a? No, I know frustration with my own sin is good, it's the only good frusteration I've got, however, the easily frusterated with my dad, and my mom, and my sister, and my cousins- not SO good. And I have been becoming more and more impatient, and even though I see it and hate it, I keep facing, as with some anger, jealousy. UGH. :( There were a BUNCH of things she read, and as she did, a memory would come right into my mind, from the past couple weeks and a few more tears would come. It wasn't just the sad type of tears, it's the real painful ones fro your heart, because you realize how evil you are, and you want so badly for Him to change you and make you like Him...loving, humble, pure, patient, meek, forgiving, encouraging.

I want so deeply to be humble, more than I think I have ever wanted to be humble. It's no longer about just being "humble" for the sake of being 'humble.' It's the realization, that God dwells with the humble, and His glory cannot co-reside with pride. I'm realizing that the qualities I want to be, are the fruits of humility- especially patience and graciousness- I really have been praying that God would make me patient and gracious- now I see it's humility that i really want, and these will follow. I don't like that when I am asked to help around the house, I can be irritable, I will help, but lately I've done it with the attitude of an 8-year-old! What is that?! It's pride. OH MY GOSH!

My prayer tonight, was, and is, God, go deep, go all the way, and make me humble. THANK YOU FOR YOUR MERCY ON ME!!! Root out this pride that's so deep in me- and posture me in humility. Open my eyes to see You, and really realize that without You, I am lost.

Goodnight, and I love you.............you can pray for God to deal with my pride :)
Wow, that's not a prayer request I give everyday ;)