.......................................
My lover's eyes are like the first dawn of creation,
light spilling out across the virgin sea.
My lover's eyes are like a sign,
telling me I've found just where I need to be.
My lover's eyes are like bolts of lightning,
sending thunder through my soul.
My lover's eyes are like the _______,
making every line of my poem whole.
3 comments:
Well done. I especially like the first stanza.
thanks Rach! I'm finding not many people comment on these posts- I understand, it's easier to reply to something funny or just common about life, then it is to reply to someone's poetry or stylistic writing. You feel almost like you have to write a 'critique' or something maybe. lol.
The first stanza is probably my favorite too! I also like the last line, because...well, I wrote it with God in mind as my lover, but that final line makes me it cool if you consider my literal, earthly man....because he is a ______ right now, and I'm waiting for him to make me (or my 'poetry') whole. ;)
originally though, i was trying to explain how God makes everything whole...it was going to refer to the punctuation mark at the end of my line.....
So, I like it's double meaning :)
So how about leaving some comments on my blog? :) I would love that. I just started a second blog for book reviews, too. Have a good week!
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