You know, this is my 202nd post?!

Of course you didn't know that. You couldn't know that, unless you counted, and that would frighten me. :0

(Now my dad is thinking about that...and perhaps a bit frightened. Don't worry Dad, no one counts them...and they are vague, I'm safe from strangers :)

So, I have had a few days of rest, lots of rest. It seems unreal that I am even still in school. But there's a reason for the rest...

I've been feeling sick for a few weeks- actually one kind of sick for a few months, and now a new slightly nautious-type sick starting a couple weeks ago. As I mentioned two (?) posts ago, I went and saw the doctor- more about the longer-running pain. The nauzea was only a few days old then, and I've been thinking its just a common flu going around...I haven't thrown up and it hasn't really stopped me.

On with the story (I know, I am the slowest storyteller- I give too many details. At least when I write, you can skim, lol. Feel free to now, I am about to give MANY details.)

So Wednesday, I woke up feeling pretty sick. It had been one of those nights where you aren't sure if you were awake the whole night or not. You are laying there, and suddenly you just realize you are awake, and not asleep, and that you are staring at your blinds. I think I looked at my clock every hour, at least. And I was paranoid about over-sleeping my alarm which made it worse. I was also burning up- I assumed it was just hot in the house (which it probably was), but looking back, I'm pretty sure I had a fever- I'd kicked off the blankets....had nightmares....had to turn on soaking music and finally felt at peace.

Nasty night!

At several points in the night I considered calling off things for Wednesday, but I realized there was a fax I had to send at work- the deadline for the form was that day and it was a big deal.

So I went on as usual...meet with Bianca (didn't quite feel myself). I went to work, and after a few hours, was discussing the final details of the fax (order form) with my manager. That was it- It hit me hard. As soon as she walked away, I realized I might throw up.

I headed to the bathroom. It's always RIGHT before you throw up that you remember HOW MUCH you HATE being sick- like M-I-S-E-R-Y. And I wanted to cry as I realized I was going to have the flu. And it really is even worse having it as an adult- because you drove yourself...and you'll have to get yourself home. And most likely, take care of yourself. Tangent.

I'm on the floor in the bathroom, wanting to cry- suddenly, and I mean suddenly, I was burning up. I got so hot I felt freezing- strange. I looked down and my shirt was damp. I hadn't thrown up, but I realized I had to get someone to call my dad or, even 911? I couldn't stay, and I was not going to be able to make it home. This was no normal flu.

I stood up and made it to the sink counter, leaned my head down on it, into the hole of the sink, and wondered if I should wash my face with cold water- if it would help the burning up. As I picked my head up and looked into the mirror I struggled a little to focus on my face. It was pale white and my stomach lurched anew from fright of the sight of myself. I headed back quickly through the halls to my cubicle. I was going to grab Patty, the sweet woman who works near to me. I was struggling to walk, and to see. As I swiped my card and walked through the door. I saw someone walking toward me, and with a delay realized it was my manager. She was all grey and white and sort of in patches. "Kathryn, I think I am going to pass out." I leaned against the filing cabinet. Later she reminded me that I'd told her "Kathryn, talk to me- I'm freaking out." When I'd walked in she'd immediately asked me "Kati?" And you could hear her concern as she hurried over to me. She grabbed me and called for Patty. She told the EMTs that she could feel me burning up through my long sleeve shirt. My whole body felt hot to the touch. Kathryn apparently "helped" me to my chair- I'd blacked out for this part, and when I'd opened my eyes I was slouched in my chair, head back. SCARY. She started asking me questions and trying to get me to keep my eyes open, but I couldn't they kept closing- or my sight did. I didn't want to talk- it was too much. She made me drink some of the water at my desk, and apparently that and the sitting helped.

It felt like one minute before the EMTs showed up, I was more conscious- though still very "relaxed." I couldn't talk much and was sort of just 'melted.' First there were three or four of them I think- they helped me lay down (or pretty much laid me down)- one of them was kinda laughing at my small cubicle which two of them, and I (laying out) were in. They gave me oxygen and put my feet up as they continued to try to find a pulse (sort of the things I didn't expect them to tell the person laying there- but I guess they have to communicate to one another about it). My blood pressure was incredibly low, I am terrible with numbers (my manager later was trying to explain to me how low it really was). They called a paramedic to come (I believe I put those two in the right order- rob and aime both told me the second guy was probably a paramedic- I told them he was dressed different and seemed more 'in charge' or knowledgeable).

The best part is that I got to answer all sorts of questions right there on the floor of my cibicle, with my manager, boss, and colleagues gathered around, worried. "Are you pregnant? ANY chance? When was your last .... was it..? Was it?? WHat did it look like?" ANd on and on. lol. I was pretty good manered to be honest, and was rather proud of myself later. Aime said it's hard to get worked up when your blood pressure is super low...lol. this is probably true.

I didn't die.

However, to be too honest- there was definitely a point where I asked myself "Am I dying?" I felt so out of control of my body and weak that I wasn't sure. It wasn't really so much of a panicked question, as a sincere wonder.

So yes, about 8 paramedics/EMT later....an aid car showed up and they put me on a stretcher (apparently they were concerned I'd black out again if I stood up). As they helped me up on to the stretcher, and buckled me down like 7 times(!), I flashed back to the last time I was strapped onto one of these. "I haven't been on one of these since I was five!" I said. One of them chuckled and said, "And that was what, yesterday?" Yep. We were buds by then to be honest. As I first started getting back to making sense and all, lying there on the floor, a plastic tube thing up my nose, no make-up on and unshowered that morning (I had felt sick that morning remember and only planed to be in a few short hours), my coworkers lining the adjacent cubicle, one of the fire fighters asked me, "How are you feeling?"

"Embarressed" I admitted, and giggled a little.

They laughed. One of them had blacked out that morning they told me, and they ragged on the guy a bit. He was sweet, looked at me and admitted, "Its true."

"At least I don't know any of you" I said.

SO they immediately introduced each of themselves.

"Great, now I know you. Perfect. Thanks."

They smiled.

A few minutes later, "Besides embarrassed, how are you feeling now?"

They not only put me on a stretcher, but they wheeled it THROUGH the downstairs offices (there WAS a back door RIGHT behind me, where I had originally come in through!). One of the older men in the office, who has definitely looked out for me at several points over the last few years, stood at his office door and joked "What some people wont do to get out of work." I laughed a little. Yep. Public humiliation at work, definitely just me trying to get out of work early. Each of the people who hadn't yet made it to witness all this, stood at their office door and watched me wheel by- definitely conscious enough to be completely embarrassed.

Outside, there were TWO fire engines, AND an aid car. All, for a little 21-year-old girl who blacked out at work.

What do you think when you drive by and see that? I know what I do- OH no! I hope he's okay! And immediately I picture an 85 year old man whose just suffered from a stroke. NOT a young, athletic 21 year old, who's conscious and somewhat good-humored at the moment.

Again, I was a bit shocked by the small talk that the paramedic in the back of the aid car made with me.....sharing some definitely "worst-case" stories that started just like mine was. Again- my blood pressure far too low for me to freak out, I guess, or God was just soaking me with peace and strength. He ended up telling me about his daughter who is the same age as me and (again, I cannot remember the name) has had to take many trips to the ER in an aid car. He ended up very caring and sweet.

After a day in the ER, an EKG, blood tests for all sorts of things, an IV to get hydrated... they told me I was healthy, really quite healthy. No super obvious reason for all this.

In fact, they said it was a "vaso vagaled" response. WHICH rather halariously, Aime had texted me like 4 hours earlier that it was likely one. It was probably due to dehydration (I'd been drinking water- it wasn't like I was super deprived of it...), stress, exhaustion, and maybe the flu. Some combination of all or some, or something else...

They gave me medicine to stop feeling nautious, and they told me to rest up and drink LOTS of water. And to pay attention if the same pre-signs show up.

SO, that is what I have been doing. Resting, and drinking water- LOTS of water.

Aime's texted me "Are you drinking water sis?" lol. She's nurse Aimers, a good big sis. She actually came and got me from the ER when my dad had to head in to a meeting at work. She got me the coffee I'd been craving for hours (I'd developed an obnoxious caffeine headache for not having any, and I was SUPER hungry but they wouldn't let me eat, JUST in case the tests showed something and they had to take me into surgeory. The nurse wouldn't even let me put chapstick on my lips- and they were pretty chapped- because they could possibly combust if they had to put an oxygen mask on me.)


All that shared. I have not blacked out since. I am back to normal. Still feeling a little nautious, but really much better. To be honest, it had shaken me up some, more when I looked back on it and realized how fast it hit me, and was secretly worried it would again.

I shared that because I haven't really wanted to repeat it OVER and OVER- I got to tell it enough times to each new EMT that arrived, and each new nurse or doctor, and my dad, and aime, and then my mom and my sisters....so, now I can tell those who have been asking the fun story....

Secondly, I started to tell the short story, and then decided against it. I don't get many chances to tell that kind of a story (praise the Lord), and one of the purposes of this blog IS to allow me to practice my actual writing skills. So, there was my narration of an "emergency"...for better, or probably worse.

And if you chose to skim, be free ;)

I love you all. Hasn't this sunshine been incredible?! Hope you've enjoyed your weekend and found time to rest yourselves.

Now it's on to homework for me....