I am freezing in the office. It is 9am, and I have been here for hours already. I was flipping through random pictures on facebook and came across one of a little beach-blonde boy eating a melting ice cream cone on the sidewalk. He looks up at the camera with happy eyes and a messy ice-cream-covered face.

Suddenly, I want nothing more than to be sitting by myself on hot pavement, eating an ice cream cone. Not just that, but I miss that feeling of being a child on a summer day, with absolutely nothing hanging over your head of what you should do. You know, before you really even get those ideas about what one ought to do with their free time in order to improve themself...like read. Yes, I miss sitting on the concrete in my driveway or in front of my house, all alone, with a hoolla-hoop and a couple slices of american cheese. One for me. One for the ant circus. Right now, if I could, I go sit and tear the cheese into tiny pieces with my little finger nails and place it inside the magical circle and watch as the ants go in and try to carry off their loot. Usually they'd crawl right under the hoolla-hoop despite my best hopes of them being trapped to perform in my little circus.

Yes, I miss my sholders being golden brown from my friendship with the sun..long days pouring water into old dead tree stumps and listening to it with the old man down the street. I miss finding potato bugs and walking around, rolling them between my index and thumb. I miss running through the sprinkler.

It is strange, I don't really remember it ever being cold in my first 5 years of life. I was always in a little tank top or a swim suit. The window was always down. I was always outside, or the door was open.

Today, I am cold. And even if I were to leave work right now, I'd go do homework, or exercise, or something I know I should do. Perhaps this is why I love naps so much, it is like the one thing I can still do that somehow is uncomplicated. Then again, I was never allowed naps as a kid (was I kim and kris! grr), and even naps I suposse are another thing we need to do.

I think sitting on hot concrete watching ants will forever be one of my favorite pastimes.