I want to write. No more papers, no more analysis of this film or that book, or how this character typifies this cultural dynamic. I want to write something pure and revealed, something that more then excites: something that awakens and ignites (me and the reader!). I want it to be like fire pouring through me- into me; out of me.

I want that fire to go through my veins and my mind and burn through the chaff that's the residue of the past 3 years of assignments and mediocre writing. God, I want to be re-enlisted, re-assigned to the original assignment. I want the clarity and fluidity of my voice to come back, and to deepen.

I just read something James wrote on passion: raw passion versus refined passion. I'm not certain, but it seems to me passion becomes refined through being tested and tempered by trials. We have to take that raw passion and take risks, calculated risks. I want refined passion: passion that faces controversy and the frustrations of hopes delayed--- and keeps hoping. My passion may still be raw, but I won't let it burn out....and as the fire continues I know the coals will begin to burn fiercer and fiercer, until my passion is refined.

Lord, my hope is in you. I 'study to show myself approved,' but I know that unless you inspire my writing, my words will only be more verbal pollution in this world. Come and let your presence fill this place.