I'm thinking on some of my favorite authors and quotes (a common tactic for when I have to read literature I dislike for school...'a spoonful of Lewis helps the Modernism go down.') So I opened up The Great Divorce in search of 'the great saint.' I've been thinking a lot about that character lately, the woman who's very presence makes the children love their parents more purely, and husbands love their wives more deeply. She's one of my heroes quite truly, depicting true love and purity. She makes something stir in my heart and come alive. Like a little child, I see her and think "I want to be like her someday." But I have a lot of selfish ambition and desire to be rooted out of me yet...I love connecting others, introducing different friends of mine, or simply building bridges of relationship by speaking well of those in my life. When I meet new friends and realize how well they would get along with another friend of mine, I delight in introducing them and creating an environment where they can truly connect. However, I still love too much to be loved. If I am really going to be like that great saint, I cannot take love unto myself or for myself, it must flow through me swiftly and purely.

Tyson (one of the wisest young men I know!) mentioned the other day about his posturing when he interacts with girls. He literally adjusts his heart to make sure he is "giving hugs," not ever taking them. I was shocked a bit, and told him so. You see, of all the young men, he is so strongly the essence of a brother. Girls who hardly even have relationship with him describe HIM when others ask who they see as a big brother. He gives the "safest hugs" of anyone I know, meaning, I feel safe and at peace, and cared for. I DO feel like I've received a hug. What surprised me was his intentionality. I am proud to say its clearly conveyed, because what he hopes to do, he certainly does. The connection between that and what I am really trying to say is this: If I am to become like that great saint, and in other words who I feel called to be, I cannot 'take.' Sometimes in my heart, I still want to grasp... grasp onto friends and friendships, good reputation, comfort, my own plans... It's a common re-posturing of my heart to live freely, holding on only to the Lord and His promises to me. Thats really what the 'poem' below was about... re-posturing my heart to not grasp, but to hold onto something bigger, Him. I read about the great saint Lewis depicts, and I am re-envisioned, realigned, ready to sacrifice. Great stories of wonder can do that to a person, thats why I love stories, they change our perspective... drawing us out of the mundane day to day into something grandeur. We suddenly recognize the stakes are high, and we can afford to take great risk, and make great sacrifices. We live a great story when we surround ourselves with them.

Having said that, and bragged about one of my best friends for a moment, I wanted to share one of my favorite quotes, one that is working its way through me yet again:

When you own heart's been broken it will be time for you to think of talking. But someone must say in general what's been unsaid among you this many a year: that love, as mortals understand the word, isn't enough. Every natural love will rise again and live forever in this country: but none will rise again until it has been buried.
CS Lewis, The Great Divorce