Monday, April 30, 2007

I just feel like blogging, not even sure what about.

Something about a coffee shop (which I am in at the moment), that makes me reflective. Suddenly I feel potential to be very productive and at the same time an undeniable need to just stop.

I love watching the people around me, and I think about the people far from me.

I need to be memorizing my Italian dialogue for class tomorrow. I have my Remix Bible in my back pack and I want to pull it out and read it. I want to close my eyes and just be here.

Last Saturday night at Cultural Revival prayer, (the night after my last blog), we took some time and prayed and prophesied over each other and a couple things were spoken over me- by people who could not have known just how right on it was, except by their confidence in the Holy Spirit.

One thing that was spoken was "A new identity. God's giving you a new identity, don't let the old one limit the new." Wow...I think my mouth dropped open. It was so exactly what God has been dealing with me in, listening to what He says about me and being that person and not fearing what others think of me because of what I HAVE BEEN before. Also, another spoke over me saying "now." Nows the time to begin writing and to begin speaking. The first to speak over me said that they just really felt that God was wanting to increase my influence in my sphere- especially on the campus that God was wanting to do something more through use me in a greater way. Thats are some short versions- but I was so encouraged!


PS any of you who have been thinking about going to Revival Culture Prayer- I'd say go for it! It will shake you up, and mess you up, and all the other great stuff that you couldn't expect! Its such a rich time of just seeking God and being with Him however He chooses to show up. I look forward to it now each week!

Then I was reading this morning on the bus in my Remix Bible (I'm loving it!!!) and I was meaning to find the verses P. Norm has been preaching on, the fruits of the spirit. But instead I opened to 2 Corinthians and began reading in chapter 3...

"Moses' face as he delivered the tablets was so bright that day (even though it would fade soon enough) that the people could no more look right at him than stare into the sun. How much more dazzling, then, the Government of Living Spirit?
If the Government of Condemnation was impressive, how about this Government of Affirmation? Bright as that old government was, it would look downright dull alongside this new one. If that makeshift arrangement impressed us, how much more this brightly shining government installed for eternity?
With that kind of hope to excite us, nothing holds us back. Unlike Moses, we have nothing to hide. Everything is out in the open with us....
Whenever, though, they turn to face God as Moses did, God removes the veil and there they are-- face-to-face! They suddenly recognize that God is a living, personal presence, not a piece of chiseled stone...We're free of it! All of us! Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of his face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him...

The whole chapter is incredible, and I loved the way it was worded in the Remix Bible. Look at how many times there are words that reference 'light' and 'shining'....i couldn't believe it. Wow- the Lord has spoken to me in so many ways the past week or so about this!!

Poor Ty, I kept nudging him this morning on the bus--- Ty, listen to this!!! Sorry, I won't bug you again (He was reading some homework assignment). Okay, wait, once more...okay, last time. Alright, well I am just going to read you the chapter. He's a great sport to put up with me as nicely as he does! :)

Okay, now on to my homework. I REALLY love you all!

My friends in DC and Italy- I am sure you are having an incredible time...I'm praying for your time to be rich together, to be influential in the environments you engage, and to be fulfilling in the Spirit. You all amaze me and encourage me to keep running! You are crazy, and I love it!

My fam- I LOVE YOU. I am glad I got some time with you dad, mom, Kate and Kol. (especially you dad- I miss you alot too...we'll have to keep setting coffee dates, and summer is close by! Wooohooo!)

And most importantly.....
Happy Birthday Kimmers!!! love you!! XO// (hehe)

Saturday, April 28, 2007

I usually blog before bed now, which means I am tired. But, Mrs. Gilbert told us my senior year that it is good to write when you are tired, or to sit and write for a long consecutive period because you write the most like yourself. Thats when your voice really comes out, like an accent that you try so hard to 'correct.' You become honest, and real. You become you.

I wasn't intending to write anything real deep now, but it just came to my mind - something the Lord has been whispering to me over and over through the past days. First, He just called me "shining," a strange word to me. Its striking to me that He is calling me NEW things- words that are very different from what I have come to expect. His voice hasn't changed, but in a way it has, I think He is just showing me a whole new, intense love. But yes, He called me shining. It happened when I was in worship and I was very aware of all my groseness and I was thinking/saying to Him how I really don't understand all that He's doing in me right now. It was like when I go to the dentist or to the doctor-- I am one of those people who likes to be walked through the entire process--- I like to know, "Okay, what are you doing now? What are you looking at? Is it okay? Have I been doing a good job of taking care of that?" And in response to this thought and sort of questioning, 'God, what are you doing in there?' He read these inner thoughts and the insecurities that laid beneath them, and all He said was "You are shining." It was the most comforting and surprising, and endearing thing! I smiled. I had to- I'm shining?!

Since then, He's been soaking it into me, and showing me just how much I have been afraid to "shine" or stand out. I really do not like to stand out or be "brilliant" (in the broader sense, not just referring to 'intelligence' though it does reflect in that too!). I am a perfectionist, and I always want to do the absolute best possible, but at the same time, I don't want people to know it because I am afraid of what they will say- they will think about me trying to be "brilliant" or "shining."

God had really begun speaking to me about this even the women's conference. He spoke to me, He called me several things-- and He said, "You are, because I SAID SO." Then, the speaker began speaking on that exact topic! God continued to press into me that I must choose to be who He says I am, and not be afraid to become it because of the mistakes that have stained me in the past- people aren't holding me to that, and if they are---God has called me it, and I must choose to live by what HE says. I'm struggling to share just how revolutionizing this thought is for me- its not that same idea I had been told before about being who God says I am ....I know it sounds the same, but it is SO different somehow. Oh, I want to get this across. Benni Johnson said, "We can't afford to have thoughts in our heads about us that God doesn't have for us." And the next day, Ceci Sheets said that "God looked at Moses, a stuterer and a murderer, and saw a deliver. God looked at David, a shepherd, and He saw a King....What does He see when He looks at you?"

Benni also said that "God is calling us up, to let us commune with Him, but also to let us see things from His perspective." I believe that new perspective begins, or largely includes, how we see ourselves. He is CONTINUALLY breaking off things from me, and its like I can't fully even grasp all that He is doing, but as He keeps freeing me and rearranging me and I feel uncomfortable and at times insecure, He just gently and lovingly reassures me- I don't get it- He is so incredible! While all my ugliness and darkness is in front of Him, He calls me lovely, pure, shining!? I know He is looking right into the depths of me, holding parts of my heart that I didn't want anyone to have to touch, and He loves me- He POURS out His love on me more intense than ever before!

Last week in Christ Church Mill Creek prayer, God was putting a number of things together for me- He was speaking to me about how important it is for us particularly as the CCMC church plant to believe what HE says about us- to see ourselves as "Giants" going into the land to take it. If we see ourselves as He does, then we wont be intimidated by the occupants- we wont be "as grasshoppers in our own eyes." Think about it- the children of Israel saw themselves as grasshoppers, but they later found that the people of Jericho had been fearing them (because of their God) all the while!

How important it is that we know who we are, from Him, and look out from His view. Suddenly, it all becomes in perspective.

Kim Walker broke out in "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine.." and I began laughing and singing with every shard of my heart. I know others probably felt the same as me, but that children's song wrapped it all up for me. I feel so free, released from who I have been, and free to be who He created me to be, who He already sees me as.

I didn't expect to write all that- I didn't open my laptop intending to write any of that, but I am glad it came out. I love you all!

Katrina Hope

"Don't let who you are now rob you of who you are to become - even your successes. Often your potential is robbed by your last accomplishment."
-Ceci Sheets

Sunday, April 22, 2007

It is late and I am very tired after a long day, long two days. But I also don't want to go to sleep. I feel so, Great? I am not sure how to explain it. And I don't think I really want to try to figure it all out either. Something incredible has happened in me, and I feel so free, and I am going to hold onto it. All I know for certain is that I looked into the eyes of God...seriously. I closed my eyes and was saying "God my eyes are fixed on yours" and suddenly I was looking into the most fierce, passionate, intense, loving eyes. I felt like the face was a lion, but not, a mix between a lion and a tiger...and yet not quite. It was neither, but I felt that way, and kind of eagle like too. Anyways, he spoke to me and He said "I am going to have you." His teeth were sharp, I remember that. I was taken aback and opened my eyes and just thought Wooo. But it still didn't quite register to me how much this meant....and its grown in me more and more since last night when it happend. I was struggling to let Him get close and stay close. I was struggling to let Him love me, and be pleased with me. And I can't really say how it happened, but He loved me and I feel His pleasure and He opened my heart. And I really do believe this is just the beginning of the beginning. Kim Walker (and incredible worship leader for those who don't know of her) prayed over me last night (Wow! Was that really just last night?) and broke a lot of things over me and I really believe cemented all that God did in me in worship and during the meeting. She said that I was going to have an impartation of God's love like never before, just a downpour- and that she really believed I was very close, I just had to keep pressing in and waiting. This was AFTER I had seen His eyes and He had said what He did to me...I didn't ever mention that to her, before or after. Crazy huh? And as much as I have felt His love, and the incredible freedom I keep finding is even greater than I realized (for real...prayer tonight, I was like "Wow, I wasn't even expecting this, but I was really freed and I am praying like I haven't in..actually, like I never have"), I still don't believe its what she was referring to. And I am soooo at peace finally that I don't have to struggle for it, He told me, "I am gonna have you/ get you" AHHH, yes!!! I am soooo excited. He told me SOOO many things these past two days alone, directly from His voice, through worship, and through others and I am OVERFLOWING.

So, I didn't begin this blog to even talk about all this, but you got a little taster of how incredible God has been to me these past couple days. SO, here is why I started this blog. I began this blog to keep in contact with my family while I was in Masters Commission and let them know all that God was doing in me, and also the fun stories. AND it was great for that, especially since my heart flows out better through my hands than it does through my mouth it seems. But now, my family sees me more and I have started writing less. Only the past few weeks have I been hearing from others that they read my blog (through Kim and Jason's I think mostly), and now I have passed it along to a few close friends as well. So, as you look through you may see some incredibly personal blogs that are written to my family...I guess you just get a little inside peak. But, WELCOME to my blog...I want to keep it still relatively personal because this is meant for me to share real things and encouragement, as well as the fun stories that I might not get a chance to share with you all. I love you all...leave a comment.

Its pretty awesome that my blog is being seen by some new people/ close friends, because God is opening up my heart, for Himself, and for others too. And I am being known. He is breaking different mindsets, disabling lies, and bringing such sweet freedom in being who HE calls me, and allowing myself to be known. I LOVED it when Kim Walker began singing "This Little Light of Mine"...I was laughing and crying because that children's song is the song of my heart in this season.

I am SOOO grateful for His blood, for the power of His cross, for the relationship of His people, and for HIS PASSIONATE LOVE! I want to know Him, touch Him, taste Him.

A couple quotes I would love to share....

"It is better to be dead than to be alive and not know why." (I missed who sourced!)

"God is saying, 'The things you usually do when it rains, don't do. Nows the time to go jump in puddles!'".... "God, we are not afraid to get wet!" (Morgan Gilbert!)

"We cannot afford to have thoughts in our head about us, that God doesn't have for us." (Benni Johnson)

"God looked at Moses, a stuterer and a murderer, and He saw a deliverer...God looked at David, a shepherd, and He saw a King. What does He see when He looks at you?" (Ceci Sheets)

I must get to bed, I have to be up in a few hours for SLT! I love you all! ...and "He is gonna get you, and have you" so rest in His love!!!

XOXO Katrina Hope

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Wait a second...


Today is my dad's birthday. He's pretty amazing- continually forgiving, and fighting for all his girls. He's the heart of the Kelly's. He's the one who taught us girls many of our important life lessons, such as, "you hang out with yo-yo's, you gonna become a yo-yo" or on a more serious level, that a man needs his woman to support him in order for him to win....such as when Adrienne doesn't stand behind Rocky at first. He also imparted some other critical lessons to us 3 little ladies as we were growing don't run or play in a skirt unless you wear shorts under. Lesson learned. I don't think I went through a day of middle school without shorts under my skirt, I'm not sure I have since, lol. What can I say? You never know when you are going to be surprised by something really fun but you can't do it in a dress....and with dad the chances of a surprise are about 10x usual. "Dad where are we going?" "You'll see." "Come on, where are we going? I need to know what to wear?" "Jeans." And thus...the Kelly girls. Jeans, a tee, and a sweater- you are set for ANY surprise with dad...most often a movie, a walk, ice cream, or a special meal (usually a place they serve good breakfast!). Now that I have my own car, I always keep a surprise kit in the back..toothbrush, jeans, sweatshirt, gum, floss, comb, and usually tennis shoes and a swimsuit- ready for anything! And I can't help but think that spirit of adventure comes from my dad...or perhaps it is better described as a need to plan (for the potential adventure).

Dad also told us, "If you are going to wrestle, go outside!" Yep. lol. Quality lesson. And "Don't run down the stairs." We all share a distaste for getting hurt for a stupid personal fault...such as running down the stairs, for that very reason. "I'm fine, no, I'm not hurt, I'm fine." Because dad couldn't STAND to see us girls get hurt, and he did not like it when we hurt ourselves....thus the no wrestling in the house.

I know Kim, Kris, and I could all tell you favorite stories of walks and dates with dad. Those are probably the only stories each of us could get through, because all the ones of us together we would be laughing and interjecting our parts. We all love our dad so much. Thats not to say we don't have our problems, and we haven't hurt him at times, or disobeyed....but thankfully my dad is one of the most loving and forgiving men I know, and he leads us all to overcome our mistakes.

Though you have probably heard us girls tease about how many times we've each seen Rocky, and begged visitors not to mention it (or we'd be watching it again), I know we all do love it, because its so closely connected to our Dad for us. I got to see Rocky Balboa with him in theaters, and my favorite line I will always remind him of, as he has always quoted Balboa to us.

"The last thing to age in a man is his heart."

Happy Birthday Dad. I love you! Thank you for your continual love and forgiveness. Thank you for never giving up or giving in...though some day I hope you will be "giving me away"...hehe.

Kati Lady

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

I've been in Anthropolgy, listening to a guest speaker on health and wellness, specifically Organic Foods. And I am right up in the third row (in a pretty large classroom)...and I am enjoying my M&Ms and cherry diet coke. I don't even drink pop, but today I got one because I wanted something cold to drink through this class, and I endulged with M&Ms....and yes, today we talked about heath and wellness.

Chocolate is organic, right? ;)

And yes, I have been giggling out loud to myself through a good portion of this class just due to its irony. The right place, at the wrong time? Or just the wrong snack at least.

Monday, April 09, 2007

I made it...I had an Italian quiz this morning and an online quiz due today by 5pm...I also had to work right after class and be at the Ruffs to babysit by 5. It took some creativity...well not really that much creativity, but diligence...and I got it done.

Did you all know what classes I am taking this quarter?
I am taking anthropology, history of celtic civilization, and Italian 103 (I have to finish it with a 2.0 or higher to get any (and all) of my foreign language credits.

...Just had a few "emergencies"- meaning will's band aid fell off his finger, lol. And then abby's hand TOUCHED his face. Somebody's tired.

This is funny....he just punched his sister (not that part) but then I went over to talk to him and he ran away and I said, "Come back and talk to me, I'm counting to three Will, or you are going to have a time out." And he says as he runs away, "I'm going to have a time out." Not like challening, but like, I am on my way there right now, don't bother. lol. Abby and I both tried not to laugh, and then she goes, "I wish he would do that all the time."

But, I should get back. I love you all. Above's a pic of two big soccer stars... ;)

Best Bird Dog We Ever Had
Coming Soon to a Home Near You

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

So, here is the image you always here about....

I know I haven't given you any pictures in here is me RIGHT NOW...

So I am sitting on the lawn in the Quad, in the sunshine (still a bit chilly because of the breeze). Surrounded by the cherry blossoms and amazing old buildings. Poor Ty got on the bus, only to realize he had to go get a book from the library, so he turned around and came he is sitting with me in the sunshine. We decided to take a class together today, only neither of us really like the class we chose...atleast we can suffer together, lol.

Sorry the blog isn't long, my battery is low and I don't have an outlet nearby, obviously.
I love you all.