I read this the night I last posted and intended to share it the next morning, but Thanksgiving rushed at me too quickly and carried me along in such a hurry. This is a letter written by Fenelon, collected in his book, "The Seeking Heart." It speaks to the heart of what I've been contemplating these past couple weeks and I hope came through some in my previous post/story.

The Purpose of Suffering

God never makes you suffer unnecessarily. He intends for your suffering to heal and purify you. The hand of God hurts you as little as it can.

Anxiety brings suffering. Sometimes you are simply unwilling to suffer, and you end up resisting God's work. If you put away all your restless longings and your anxiety, you will experience the peace and freedom that God gives to His children. The yoke that God gives is easy to bear if you accept it without struggling to escape. You make life more painful for yourself when you resist God in the least way.

Usually you bargain with God to set a limit on your suffering. The same inward waywardness that makes the work of the cross necessary in your life is what will try to push the cross away. God has to start over with you every time you push Him away.

Sometimes God takes away His gifts until you can possess them purely. Otherwise, they will poison you. It is rarw to hold God's gifts without possessiveness. You think everything is for you. You do not think first of the glory of God or you would not become depressed when your visible blessings vanish. The truth is, you are mostly concerned with yourself. Self-love is proud of its spiritual accomplishments. You must lose everything to find God for Himself alone. But you won't lose everything until it is ripped from you. You won't begin to let go of yourself until you have been thrown off a cliff! He takes away to give back in a better way.

Look at the example of friendships. At first God attracts you by pouring His presence out on you. You are eager to pray and to turn away from your selfish comforts and friendships. You give up everyone and everything that does not feel the same as you do. Many people never get past this place. Some get past this to letting God strip them of everything, but get depressed when everything becomes a burden. Far from looking for friends, the friends they used to enjoy now irritate them. Here is agony and despair. Joy cannot be found.

Does this surprise you? God takes everything because you do not know how to love, so do not speak of friendship. The very idea brings tears to your eyes. Everything overcomes you. You do not know what you want. You are moody and cry like a child. You are a mass of swirling emotions which change from moment to moment. Do you find it hard to believe that a strong and highminded person can be reduced to such a state? To speak of friendship is like speaking of dancing to a sick person.

Wait until the winter is past. Your true friends will come back to you. You will no longer love for yourself, but in and for God. Before, you were somehow always afraid of losing- no matter how generous you appeared. If you didn't seek wealth or honor, you sought common interest or confidence or understanding.

Take away these comforts and you are pained, hurt, and offended. Doesn't this show who you really love?

When it is God you love in someone, you stand by that person no matter what. If the friendship is broken in the order of God, you are at peace. You may feel a deep pain, for the friendship was a great gift, but it is a calm suffering, and free from the cutting grief of a possessive love. God's love sets you free.

Do not waste your suffering. Let suffering accomplish what God wants it to in your life. Never get so hard that you suffer for no reason and no purpose. Paul says, "God loves a cheerful giver." How much He must love those who cheerfully give themselves to His dealings.



Isn't that the most incredible thing you'v ever been told?! I feel like this could have been written to me this time two years ago. After years of His processing, I've learned to not love possessively. I've learned His love frees. And now, I feel like HIs dealings have begun again, and He is purifying me again, teaching me to hold His gifts purely. I still get depressed when my visible blessings and friendships vanish. I still care for myself when it ultimately comes down to it. I want to think first of HIS glory.

Gotta be honest, the dealings of the Lord have wounded me terribly the past couple years. He mended me and it is better then ever, but I am still a little fearful when I hear this word returning a second time, and the Lord assuring me of what I know and who I am in this... I see the windup for a test... and I remember the pain in being broken. Oh Lord, let me not resist You or Your ways in the least. Teach me to Love. Make me real. Create Your image in me.

"When I awake I will be satisfied with Your image"