Tuesday, March 05, 2013

[Uncertainty is so uncomfortable]

Starting a new job next week, I don't know when.  I don't know what time I will wake up each day, arrive to work, head out.  I don't know what I will do or how I will like it.  I know they hired another new marketing person as well - I don't know if they are my age, younger, older - man or woman.  I don't know if they'll be my boss or right beside me on that ladder.  I know so very little about this new world I'm heading in to in just a few days.  

In a relationship that is moving forward, but that definition ("forward") is yet to be discovered.  We just know we aren't stuck.  And we know we aren't going back.  But there is a lot of unknowns in any human relationship as you build. 

I like to plan.  

Maybe I'll go do my taxes so I can at least feel like I know something about what's coming - even if it's just an approximate number on a check in the mail.  

Sometimes this is where we grow.  When we see no walls. 

Choosing to be excited.  This is what I've wanted.  It's just also really, really uncomfortable.  

But, it will be good.  

It gets better.

I have two beautiful things in my life:  a new job and an amazing relationship.  And just enough unclarity to keep me moving, learning, stretching toward these two beautiful figures in my future.  

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