Monday, November 10, 2014

I've spent much of my life terrified of the end times.  Scared to find out I'm not really saved.  Scared to face the tribulation I've always believed we'd all face together.  And mostly scared to discover I am really more afraid of the tribulation than I am in love with Christ.

As of late, that fear has been growing.  But so has a strange numbness.

Which scares me.  (You get the point here.)  I've felt the need to figure it out, or at least give it some attention.

I stumbled upon a series today from Bethany that discusses the tribulation and the rapture and I've been searching trying to find more. I've read Revelations through, several times.  And talked it through with my dad.  But still, I find I don't really know. And I get that that is half the point.  But truly, I feel my generation and the one behind it, have less of an idea about how all this is supposed to end than any previous Christian generation.

And as I'm listening another conviction is growing - we seriously have no fear of God right now.  Like, none.  I get that most of us are coming out of controlling church situations where leadership overstepped their boundaries and dictated preference as doctrine, but this is bigger than our pastor's mistakes.  And we can only use that excuse for so long.  I think we're past that time.  I think it's time we all get a new glimpse of the God we're dealing with - if he says that all creation proclaims the gospel - I don't think He's going to let us off the hook for being 'burned' by a pastor because he told us flirting was bad. I'm not excusing a single thing that's happened to people who've been hurt and mislead and are ultimately confused from a lifetime of manipulation twisted into truths.  I'm just saying - it's not really an excuse. If we keep using it as an excuse, we are insisting on continuing to live within the system we say we hate - a system where our pastors were the only ones who could see or hear God - a system where our pastor's decisions had to dictate our behavior.  It's like we're sitting in a cell starving and blaming the wardens who aren't even there! You're free, exercise your freedom by taking a moment to figure out for yourself what you actually believe.  But don't just stop at cigarettes and kissing, you just found out you're responsible for your own faith. You might want to handle a few of the real important questions too - like if you should expect to live through hell on earth for seven years.

Rant over.  Sure I'll regret this, maybe, but geez, I think there is bigger things at stake.

Ready to form your own opinion on something literally worth a damn?  


samara said...

Once again, I'm reading your words, feeling like I'm getting to hear from someone a few steps ahead. And once again I'm really grateful for that.

Rose said...

I LOVE THIS POST. I read it and was like "yes!!!! Thank you!" Then..."oh boy, that means me." It all comes down to taking responsibility for ourselves, doesn't it? And asking and trusting God to help us every step of the way.