Remember how I said I was gonna celebrate?  Oh I did.  Oh I am.  :)  Last night my Beau met me in the lobby with a hug and a congratulations.  We headed to the end of the block for drinks at RN 74 before whisking to Esther's for a night of scheming and dreaming over a table of delicious and beautiful artistry.

I have reserved the next two days for cleaning and organizing my life - for resting.  In Celtic mythology and literature there is much to be said about the 'time between time' - it is dusk - it is magic - it is that intangible moment between one concrete thing and another.  Transition.  I have carved out 4 days for my time between times.  My own transition, internally before externally.  This has been such a long process!!!! And suddenly, at 5:25pm yesterday, I was no longer employed by Weaver.  I no longer answered phones or coordinated billing for hundreds of complex projects.  I no longer managed an office.

John had requested just one of my mornings, "to help you rest", he said.  He woke me up this morning, "Congratulations on your unemployment."  We drove to a new coffee shop in our sweats, picked up pastries at a famous Scandinavian bakery we had yet to visit.  My favorite part of the morning came right after that, we drove to his house.  Took off our shoes, grabbed blankets, our coffees and pastries and then he grabbed the remote.  I asked, "Are we going to watch a movie?"  (This whole morning was a surprise of course.)  "A show?"  "Yes, kind of."  The screen lit up.  Looney Tunes!  This man.  This man.  I tried to tell him a week ago about the cartoons my sister and I would watch whenever we got a chance - an old VHS full of "50 of the Greatest Cartoons."  For years, Kristin and I tried to keep a list of all the shows in order.  We never could get all of them written down.  And eventually, the movie disappeared.  (We know who.)  I have bought several DVDs in hopes that they are THAT collection, but they never quite right.  I told Beau I'd love to spend a morning just watching old cartoons sometime.  This morning, we watched Bugs heckle Fudd for an hour before heading off to brunch reservations. :)

We've been trying to get to Lola's for a breakfast for a few months now - so this part I was able to guess... the only part of the morning I figured out at all.  Afterwards, John says it was the best breakfast he's ever had, and while the man does have a penchant for hyperbole, I think this was no exaggeration.  It was the sort of breakfast where you eat twice as much as you thought possible because you can't bear to stop.  DELICIOUS.  We ordered the pancakes and the Greek Breakfast and split both before wrapping up the meal with the doughnuts (we weren't going to miss another chance, Linda!).  They were incredible with our final sips of coffee.

Now, he's off to an afternoon of meetings and I've a room to put back in order, a car to clean and a laptop on which to do a bit of surgery.  So grateful for this small window in time, this time between the times.

Last Day. 

A time for changes.

I have been asking what is blocking me from moving forward? What is keeping me from crossing into the next season? Is there anything? And of course the answer is, yes. There is.

We cross over through obedience and faith. Radical obedience.

With those changes always seems to come the mirrors. It is a season for changes, just as the seasons are themselves beginning to change outside. We can all feel it heavy in the air. Days are growing longer, the sun seems a little brighter, and our hunger for Spring is growing desperate. Small things, but the details of my life are changing too. The numbers of it. Such as my banking number, and my telephone number, soon my address. So are my account balances, as I'm becoming more disciplined and setting goals. It is a time to change, change my bank, my phone carrier, and the way I relate to others.

Hello 2011, it was wonderful to meet last night.

It seems only fitting that I brought in the new year in a manner nothing like I'd planned or expected. But, it also seems fitting that it was wonderful, fun and done with a few great friends... some I've known since the days of learning to ride bikes, some since first crushes and heart aches, some since the discovery of callings and the setting out for destiny, and some since the journey became real and the dawns came with decisions.

2011- a year of adventure. Of challenges, but growth. Of transition out of one thing and into another. The start of more. The start of it all. 2010 taught me many things. One of the greatest, to not judge according to my plans, but to leave room for bigger doors to be opened and greater dreams to be accomplished than I ever thought possible. This year, I learned how to dream. I learned that to carry a dream in your heart, means pain, trust, and perseverance. To carry a dream also requires that we not suffocate it by our own understanding of it.. but to allow it to grow into what it was meant to be. Dreams are not from our land, but another place entirely. Therefore it should not surprise us that we very rarely know how to accurately identify them, and that very few indeed know how to care for them. We often think there are one seed, and yet they bloom into a very different design entirely. To carry a dream is to carry something that has never been seen in it's mature bloom. Each one entirely new, entirely surprising. And the best way to care for it, is to recognize that it will need to be fed and watered by many (and not those you might think), and allow it to grow into what it is inside the seed... not boxing it in to some small dark box of what you thought you bought when you made it's first purchase.

Yes, I've learned to dream. I've learned to carry this dream. I've learned to let this dream carry me. And I've learned that I know very little. And the little I know, I hope to learn how to do this year, 2011. I think 2010 was the preparation for the journey, learning to follow... we will see where I am led in 2011. But I think it of little coincidence that Pastor Norm called 2011 a year of adventure. (I also think it perhaps meaningful that I am starting this year by reading of one of the greatest mythical, literary adventures, The Lord of the Rings.) First He stirred the desire for adventure in our hearts. Then, He taught us that the adventure is never in what we think we are setting out for. Now, He's teaching through literature and stories how one goes about on an adventure. Or so, that is what my little heart believes it is seeing in these days. I must believe that a story can be used to prepare us for our greatest adventures in life - or else, I cannot spend myself to write such tales.

Oh 2011, you are so mysterious and handsome. ;) I do believe we are going to have a remarkable time together, you changing me forever, and I dare to say: me, you.

There are few comforts like that of an old friend. I got to spend this evening with two of my closest guy friends who I rarely see. And while it was short, it was exactly what my heart needed. I've noticed that in times of transition, as well as other difficult seasons the best place to go is to the company of those who have loved you for years. Thankfully the past couple weeks, I've had a little more time than usual with a number of these friends. Those who I don't get to spend my every day or weekend with, but who you'd find in the closest circles of my heart, could you examine it.

Tonight, it was sweats, no makeup, coffee, True Grit, and two of the greatest guys around. I am a happy young girl.