John told me a while back that I could decorate his apartment.  I've wanted for some time to decorate a guy's apartment.  We'd done a few small things here and there so far but not much.  Just in time for us to get serious about it - he found a new apartment. :)  He wasn't sure how serious he was about moving, but I lined up a few places for us to check out last weekend and the second one we saw was a huge steal.  And still close enough to his work for him to walk each day.  He decided he wanted it, and luckily we were some of the very first to see it.  He filled out the forms and signed the check before the rest ever showed up for the open house.  Tomorrow he'll be signing the lease. 

I've already created a new Pinterest board.  :)  His new lease will overlap for an entire month with his current one, so we have time to paint, clean and decorate.  It's probably close to 3 times the size of his current place (okay, maybe only 2x, but the King of Hyperbole will forgive me for the gross exaggeration), with plenty of windows and good lighting, old hardwood floors and thick white trim.  It's going to be a very handsome manly abode.  And it's going to be a blast getting it there!

Rule 5:  By the time you realize you need a haircut, everyone else has, too.

"Figure out how long you should go between haircuts. (Hint: This interval will shorten as you grow older. Just ask Gary Busey.) Schedule them in advance—every 6 weeks, or whatever works for your hair. If you wait until you need one, then you're walking around looking like you need one.  And masculine style is about looking like you don't need anything."

I was looking through an article a friend posted and this line caught me.  Is masculine style really all about looking like you don't need anything?  I could see the validity in that.  Interesting concept to consider - what guys will do to look like they don't need to do anything.  Leads to two predominant styles I would think: the rugged unkempt look or the chic trimmed look.  Right?  Both could be different takes on this.  And I can see the virtue in both because I think women are in fact attracted to that quality of competence in a man, that virtue that communicates they don't need anything.  But all too often, it becomes more of a tangible seeking of style and manliness that leaks into their conversation and their sideways glances at reflections and let me tell you... all attractiveness is lost.  I love men's fashion.  I love having a reason lately to sneak into men's grooming shops and boutiques and peruse all sorts of manly little gadgets like straight edge razors and colognes.  But I especially love meeting men who don't fuss over their looks, style and body.  That is attractive.  I like standing next to a guy who's smiling at my outfit, not his in the window over my shoulder. 

I seriously want to decorate a man's flat/ apartment/ home someday. I think there are some incredible manly styles.  I probably dream as much about decorating a man cave for my husband as I do about anything else. Dark leathers, black or brown depending on his taste, woods, a bar, an amazing desk... I don't know, so many options and it all depends on him. :) But, in the meantime, I'd really love to help design/decorate. *hint*

Isn't this amazing?  It wouldn't have to be a guy's apartment, it just made me think of it.

Interesting conversation happening over at That Kind of Woman.  I enjoy hearing these sorts of discussions, and while I know they are full of hot spots in the larger realm, and maybe talked over and over and over inside the church (more at mens meetings so I don't really hear it), I love hearing women value men.  Manliness isn't exactly a common conversation among women, except perhaps in an academic sense of gender roles and sexual identity.  While watching many of my friends marry I continue to learn how different the guys we each need are, there isn't one perfect idea... but there are certain qualities that make us respect a man.  I think for me, it's seeing a man who's alive, capable, courageous and selfless.  Someone who's willing to work hard, take risks, feel pain and love others with a strength and gentleness.  I don't know much about the author of  TKOW, but I really enjoyed her description of her dad, and what she's looking for herself.

 

Real: What makes a man a man?

I have read several creative non fiction pieces about women, and their journeys through life, and love, divorce and parent relationships, pregnancy and iscolation.
However, I can’t help but think, as we issued in class their is also a great stigma against men and their “manly” ability. Spurred by an all too serious debate on my blog, I quoted my mother as she made a comment on the “real men” and how the men of this world are too busy primping and preening to actually be considered a man with a purpose. An uproar sounded, many poeple outraged that my mother and myself needed to check on our gender binaries, that we also shouldn’t limit our seemingly intelligent minds with the sexism that we were displaying. That who was my mother to judge the manliness of men?
Then came my mother and my humor in an attempt to sooth the outrage. We posted this:
My mother not to know what constitutes a real men? I suppose then that suggests my father is not a real man. Well.
At 6’4” 240lbs with callused hands, weather face, he surfs the waves of international waters including the North Shore of Hawaii and the cliffs of Ireland, pilots personal private planes across the United States, kayaks and canoes the white water rapids of the Grand Canyon, golfs Pebble Beach, dogsleds and snow shoes the northwest territories and most of Canada, bee keeper to domesticated Italian honey bees, chainsaw wielding, tractor driving, cross country motorcycle riding badass. As well as single handedly providing for the growth and financial stability of not only his family, but his employees. National leading authority on environmental and worker protection regulations. Also, living in a house with three strong headed women. With just a High School Education to his name, and married to the same woman for 26 years. I don’t know… maybe my mom doesn’t know what a real man is, or he’s been faking it and totally has the time to get his eyebrows waxed.
This caused a following of mixed reviews, I clarified that my father had done all of these things, and some thought he was interesting and badass. A role model for the adventurous young men who wanted more, and thought they were limited. Others spoke that these things didn’t make a man a man.
My mentor, Janna says and agrees that “men” are men with a purpose, a drive and with a physical presence that is, in my words, instinctually attractive. No one wants the man to come back to the hut with a mirror he traded instead of a new bow and arrow. No one wants the man that is more interested in his appearance than he is putting food on the table, and supporting the family. It just so happens that the kind of women that are in my life, my sister, mother and mentor seemed to all desire a self motivated manly man.
Having to compete for the smallest waist size against your husband does not sound fun to me, even if it is just a society based idea. Maybe it’s sexist, or even old fashioned for me to want a man who is able to fix things as much as or more as me, chop some wood, and wrangle a bear, as much as he is able to keep to the general standards of hygiene.

(Source: thatkindofwoman)

Your thoughts?  Men?  Ladies?  Married ladies?