Real: What makes a man a man?
I have read several creative non fiction pieces about women, and their journeys through life, and love, divorce and parent relationships, pregnancy and iscolation.
However, I can’t help but think, as we issued in class their is also a great stigma against men and their “manly” ability. Spurred by an all too serious debate on my blog, I quoted my mother as she made a comment on the “real men” and how the men of this world are too busy primping and preening to actually be considered a man with a purpose. An uproar sounded, many poeple outraged that my mother and myself needed to check on our gender binaries, that we also shouldn’t limit our seemingly intelligent minds with the sexism that we were displaying. That who was my mother to judge the manliness of men?
Then came my mother and my humor in an attempt to sooth the outrage. We posted this:
My mother not to know what constitutes a real men? I suppose then that suggests my father is not a real man. Well.
At 6’4” 240lbs with callused hands, weather face, he surfs the waves of international waters including the North Shore of Hawaii and the cliffs of Ireland, pilots personal private planes across the United States, kayaks and canoes the white water rapids of the Grand Canyon, golfs Pebble Beach, dogsleds and snow shoes the northwest territories and most of Canada, bee keeper to domesticated Italian honey bees, chainsaw wielding, tractor driving, cross country motorcycle riding badass. As well as single handedly providing for the growth and financial stability of not only his family, but his employees. National leading authority on environmental and worker protection regulations. Also, living in a house with three strong headed women. With just a High School Education to his name, and married to the same woman for 26 years. I don’t know… maybe my mom doesn’t know what a real man is, or he’s been faking it and totally has the time to get his eyebrows waxed.
This caused a following of mixed reviews, I clarified that my father had done all of these things, and some thought he was interesting and badass. A role model for the adventurous young men who wanted more, and thought they were limited. Others spoke that these things didn’t make a man a man.
My mentor, Janna says and agrees that “men” are men with a purpose, a drive and with a physical presence that is, in my words, instinctually attractive. No one wants the man to come back to the hut with a mirror he traded instead of a new bow and arrow. No one wants the man that is more interested in his appearance than he is putting food on the table, and supporting the family. It just so happens that the kind of women that are in my life, my sister, mother and mentor seemed to all desire a self motivated manly man.
Having to compete for the smallest waist size against your husband does not sound fun to me, even if it is just a society based idea. Maybe it’s sexist, or even old fashioned for me to want a man who is able to fix things as much as or more as me, chop some wood, and wrangle a bear, as much as he is able to keep to the general standards of hygiene.
(Source: thatkindofwoman)
Your thoughts? Men? Ladies? Married ladies?
However, I can’t help but think, as we issued in class their is also a great stigma against men and their “manly” ability. Spurred by an all too serious debate on my blog, I quoted my mother as she made a comment on the “real men” and how the men of this world are too busy primping and preening to actually be considered a man with a purpose. An uproar sounded, many poeple outraged that my mother and myself needed to check on our gender binaries, that we also shouldn’t limit our seemingly intelligent minds with the sexism that we were displaying. That who was my mother to judge the manliness of men?
Then came my mother and my humor in an attempt to sooth the outrage. We posted this:
My mother not to know what constitutes a real men? I suppose then that suggests my father is not a real man. Well.
At 6’4” 240lbs with callused hands, weather face, he surfs the waves of international waters including the North Shore of Hawaii and the cliffs of Ireland, pilots personal private planes across the United States, kayaks and canoes the white water rapids of the Grand Canyon, golfs Pebble Beach, dogsleds and snow shoes the northwest territories and most of Canada, bee keeper to domesticated Italian honey bees, chainsaw wielding, tractor driving, cross country motorcycle riding badass. As well as single handedly providing for the growth and financial stability of not only his family, but his employees. National leading authority on environmental and worker protection regulations. Also, living in a house with three strong headed women. With just a High School Education to his name, and married to the same woman for 26 years. I don’t know… maybe my mom doesn’t know what a real man is, or he’s been faking it and totally has the time to get his eyebrows waxed.
This caused a following of mixed reviews, I clarified that my father had done all of these things, and some thought he was interesting and badass. A role model for the adventurous young men who wanted more, and thought they were limited. Others spoke that these things didn’t make a man a man.
My mentor, Janna says and agrees that “men” are men with a purpose, a drive and with a physical presence that is, in my words, instinctually attractive. No one wants the man to come back to the hut with a mirror he traded instead of a new bow and arrow. No one wants the man that is more interested in his appearance than he is putting food on the table, and supporting the family. It just so happens that the kind of women that are in my life, my sister, mother and mentor seemed to all desire a self motivated manly man.
Having to compete for the smallest waist size against your husband does not sound fun to me, even if it is just a society based idea. Maybe it’s sexist, or even old fashioned for me to want a man who is able to fix things as much as or more as me, chop some wood, and wrangle a bear, as much as he is able to keep to the general standards of hygiene.
(Source: thatkindofwoman)
Your thoughts? Men? Ladies? Married ladies?
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