I think I'm having a quarter life crisis. Does that happen? I started bawling on my boyfriend last Friday night. When we showed up an hour late, my roommate could tell what had kept us. :/ I suddenly dislike blogs (except of those owned by my friends - I sincerely like those - and you all are hardly blogging lol). I have no desire to grow my career into anything involving "social media" or marketing unless of a very specific role. In fact, I feel like we are so over-saturated with "social media" and blogs full of cotton-candy equivalent of creativity that I want to shut mine down for fear of contributing.
I don't know what I want to do with my life suddenly. I feel I'm stuck. And though I have the most wonderful boyfriend who has twice now asked me in the most sincere and caring terms for "a story" as a gift... I can't seem to write a darn thing. Nor do I really even know if I feel like writing.
I feel desperate to create. [Something tangible.] And I feel -100% creative.
I feel like my life is about to change - has to change, drastically - or I'll go truly, bloody, mad. But I don't have the faintest idea how to change it. I just have to wait. Be patient. Keep being patient. Keep seeking.
Quarter life crisis.
[Linda, I know, Joseph. Trust me, he's on my mind.]
I'm going to push through. And I'm going to write. Because it is one thing I know for certain: I was born to write. If only I could just discover the how, the where, and the who is paying me to do it. Because I feel I've been sitting in this darn cold holding cell for a year now. And before this one, there were others.
3 comments:
ahh I can so relate to this post. Why must the process be so dang painful at times :)I just know that when we are feeling such discontentment and longing for something more that there is actually more. I am excited to see what will unfold in the coming days. Love you so! Keep fighting.
i can so relate to these thoughts! the whole thing with social media and blogs - it's like an unsaid pressure. i am still trying to hash these thoughts out...hmm...
anyways, i am reminded by a new quote on my wall: "The greater the struggle, the more glorious the triumph." [butterfly circus]
Cant wait to read your books :)
I know exactly how you feel, Kati! Right there with you (minus the whole boyfriend part...can't relate so much ;)) But I know what it is like to hold, and to wait. And to have that urging desire for change. God is working in the midst of it & He is working on your behalf: "I am sure God keeps no one waiting unless He sees that it is good for him to wait." C.S. Lewis :)
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