I found my way to this article today, by a blogger I've never read.  A friend posted another article on Facebook that caught my eye and lead me to her page.  It connected so well with what I've been pondering lately.  And it made me realize that what I'm learning today will only become more and more important in the years to come in my life. 

I'm good at doing.  I really am.  Meg, one of my closest friends through my college years and now roommate, sometimes refers to me as "Doer".  I like to think of it as a term of endearment.  But, I'm not entirely sure it is.  I earned it because of my tendency to get up a dozen times and do things, while we are sitting, relaxing and reading.  I'll fold laundry.  Clean my room.  Move stuff.  Go make us tea.  And more tea.  Start dinner.  Check email.  There is always so much to be done.  And I usually feel I have to at least have "all my maids running" (as my mom calls it) before I sit down.  I get stuff done.  And I like that.  I also like being able to do things for others.  Which means, when I'm with people, it almost kicks into hydro gear.  And quality time to me, can look like doing something for someone I care about.

Only, for most people, watching me do stuff, doesn't transfer.  :/ 

On top of that, I'll be doing so much throughout my week, I'll give the people I most want to invest in, a tired, warn out girl.  I know my mom's wishing I'd mastered all this years ago - especially since she's the one who gets the most warn out, tired version of me.  Yes, the most un-kind Kati. :(

And that, is a shame.  Gosh, I want to get good at this.  I know I'm not in danger of ever becoming that person who just let's it all go... so you probably don't need to balance me right now.  Because, that voice is already in my head.  I'm warned.  What I want to learn is how to get what needs to get done,  how to be generous with my time and abilities, and also how to say no enough to keep full.  Full enough to be kind, to be sowing intentional seeds.  To be more than just getting by, and more than just 'spending time.' 

The article I read today was amazing.  Great to hear what really matters to the people who love us.

But boy is this hard when you're feeling torn in a number of directions.  You can't determine people's expectations of you, and keeping people feeling loved and important is sometimes difficult.  I sometimes think it will get easier when I have a husband to help me say "no."  Your priorities become clearer too.  I just know I don't really want to wait until then to get good at this skill - there are a lot of people to be kind to today.