We. Are. Planners. That is what I am realizing. We are planners, who love to be surprised, because that means someone else took the time and effort to plan how to surprise us... or rather, out-plan us. I had started to see this more clearly about myself last week. But, I just realized, the same is true of Kimberly and Kristin too. I'm recognizing this because I now have discovered that two of my girl friends do not like surprises. Why? They like to feel ready, prepared. I hate feeling unprepared, yet I love being surprised. :/ It is probably the ultimate form of showing you care as far as I'm concerned. Plus, it's just fun. As for the planning part, yes, I love waking up early and listing out all the things I want to get done that day- the more accomplished by 11a, the better I feel. I love to-do lists (as you now know). I love being able to plot out where things will be in 5 years (hopefully) -- perhaps more dreaming than planning. I love the details
and the big picture. And I feel like both my sisters are pretty similar (in their own forms).
We all mark Kristin off as being more of the free-spirit, wild child ... but of all of us, she is the most driven in so many ways too. She knows where she wants to be, and she continues to fight to get there, no matter what. She too, is a planner. And she too, loves surprises. And, I don't really need to say anything of Kim for those of you who know her, but for those of you who don't... she's a planner extraordinaire.... be it packing, wedding planning, home remodels, trip itineraries... you name it. And yet, she loves a good surprise! So why is it that all three of us girls fall into this strange balance, of loving planning, and yet loving when things go beyond any of our plans?
Meet Loretta Joanne Kelly. Mother of the three. Early-childhood education major, who turned little projects into remarkable feats of creativity and daring.... built playhouses out of piping and fabric (before they were things you could just buy online), taught us how to
make playdough, managed one of the largest Children's Worlds in the area, and who plots out her garden by color, season, and height in elaborate drafts. My mom- problem solver, do-it-your-selfer-RIGHT-NOW woman of the year! Got an idea? Let's get a pencil and some paper and give this concept some roots! She likes plans, she just prefers to make those plans reality within the next 48 hours. I love the pieces of me I get from my mom. I love creating. I love thinking up something I've never seen, and working with her to make it real (though I won't like, there is plenty of tension in the different methods and visions- but it always ends up incredible). I also love the pieces that show up in my sisters.
Now, note Thomas Edward. Engineer. Planner. Problem-solver. STRATEGIC, problem-solver. Deep thinker- slow(er) mover. He can create the most flawless plans I am sure. But typically, my mom has already done
something and moved on to a new project by then. UNLESS, he is thinking up a surprise, then no one knows about it and
no one can interrupt his planning mode. And let me tell you, NO ONE can do surprises like my dad can. Nor do I think anyone has ever done so many. LIFE with dad
is a surprise. You ask for something, you get a no. We've always considered this to just be part of his "We'll start with no, and maybe work to
maybe" philosophy, but I'm realizing it might be just as much his love for giving surprises. You see, once he says no, then he can decide if he wants to give it to you... and if he does, he figures you'll be surprised and all the more excited. My dad's love for surprises has trained us girls to always expect the unexpected. And this is what I come down to. Mom, the master of in-the-minute planning, who can go with the flow and create something remarkable out of whatever you give her... and dad who loves to make every possible thing into a surprise, created 3 girls, who live life, constantly planning and re-planning, ready for anyone to throw anything into the mix... and thrilled when someone does, because it just means more material to work with and something even better to create out of that day.
The somewhat down side to all this, I am always half-hoping that there is a surprise coming. You
said I wasn't getting a party, but that doesn't mean anything. And it is not because I am not grateful, it is just because 55% of the time, there is some sort of a surprise behind the corner, it is just a matter of guessing the right way, and not leading on that you are on to it.... because once you figure it out, he (Dad) might decide it's not worthwhile, since it is no longer a surprise. So, you have to act blind to it... until after at least. But there are plenty of signs to give a surprise away, especially when you have 24 years of skilled-surprise-reading practice like myself, and when you are constantly seeking to read people. Dad? One sign, he tells you, you aren't going to get it. And he tries to see just how badly you want it. He might bring it back up, prompting to see your misery, just to make sure the sweet receiving of the desired thing/event/gift is all the sweeter. It kills him how good I've gotten at reading surprises. I'm trying to get better at
not figuring out surprises... but when you are the daughter of Loretta Kelly, you are also always conducting impromptu creating and planning in your head... and the child of Thomas, you are theorizing and analyzing.... and the product, you scan the environment, conversation, etc and come up with a list of possibilities, quickly discarding as new information is presented, until you stumble upon the greatest likelihood based on the person.... and voila.... even if you don't want to... it happens.
But do not be disheartened, and please do not give up the surprises, because what I just described to you is accompanied by the most wonderful high of excitement and joy, knowing that someone cares enough to lead me into that adventure of discovery! Planning and Surprises-- oh how I love them both!! And how incredibly loved I feel when I find myself tumbling down that rabbit hole!
