I went sailing for the first time last night.




Oh yeah, and I came home with a concussion.  Not the first time.  Safe to say, not the last.

Beau says he hopes it doesn't turn me away from sailing for good (there's a great little pun in there, if only you knew).  I informed him he doesn't need to worry - I've received a concussion from most of my favorite activities.  Queue the Kelly motto... "We take a lick'n and keep on tick'n." 

I know all my family members are already working on the jokes they are going to make in regards to my first sailing trip.  But, I'll have you know, when I ashamedly admitted the tale to my sailboat owning (and competition racing) coworker, he informed me the injury was sincerely not my fault.

A little past "25" but I just knocked off one more of my goals today.  :)  

Guess who opened an IRA. 

This girl.  Finally.

A new year always marks a new age for me.  In 5 days, I will be 26. Remember that list I so ambitiously wrote last year?  I began it in September of 2011 in fact.  What was I going to accomplish and experience in my 25th year of life?  The list I mostly tossed out a couple months ago.  Yeah, that list.  I don't believe I ever posted it in entirety for you all.  Well, here it is.  I have 5 days left and I'm wondering how many I could get done before 26 hits me.  At this point, it's like a fun, frantic game.

25 Goals For 25

Go on a date. 

Read 25 books (5 from the Guardian's list)  So far, I've read 13 books.  Next year, I'll account for Beau in my reading goals. 

Buy a camera (Nikon D5100)   John has one... I suddenly had less drive to buy one. 

Pay off the Toddler

Submit a story  

Submit a poem 

Read more current authors

Run a half-marathon  Ha.  Ran a 5K and then fell into the worst shape of my life. I did run the entire 6 blocks to the bus stop this morning.  That count?  Because boy was my chest burning. 

Learn a real piece on the violin  Haven't played since I moved.  :( 

Start a 401K  

Learn 100 Italian verbs + 100 nouns

Move out

Visit a new city

Talk less (listen more)  I still have 5 days to get this one, right? ;) 

Go camping

Visit the Olympic National Park  

Go sailing 

Write one short story a week  I should have 52 stories?  I have 1 unfinished short story from this year. 

Prepare for the day before leaving the house  I think I have done pretty well at this the majority of the year.  And better the last couple months. 

Read through the New Testament  I spent most of the year in the Gospels.  

Get my concealed weapons permit

Ride in a hot air balloon  Dad? 

Learn to golf

Create my website/ online portfolio  Kind of... 

Ride in a train

I began setting 4 year goals a couple months back.  I will be 30 in 4 years and 5 days! (Weird.)  And I think I am going to set quarterly goals for 26.  I have 4 'to-dos' for the first quarter so far.  I think I'll aim for 5 per quarter.  :)  Besides that, this year will be less about "lists" and more about "priorities".  I have been spending the last few days thinking about my current priorities and how they should change or stay the same for this coming year.  I don't yet know... I'm still praying.  But my to-dos for this first quarter reflect my priorities as best I see them so far.

It's hard to plan for a year.  One person could walk in and change it all... and you could be forever grateful.  I'd aimed to go on a date in 2012.  A real date. I did in January. We played trivia at an Irish pub.  There were no sparks.  It was okay.  I marked it off the list.  And then, I was taken on one of the most wonderful dates... without realizing it at the time.  The rest, I hadn't put on my goals list.  But when it came to it, I'd rather listen to his story than read any of my books on the shelf.  

13/25

I don't know that I am going to make it to 25 books this year.  Boys.  They tend to get in the way of reading time.  But, it's a trade I'm willing to make.  Especially for one that likes to read to me.   Book 13 of 2012:  The Little Prince, as read aloud by Beau.

12/25

I am still aiming to read 25 books by the end of the year and finish the New Testament.  Just under halfway there, on both. 

You didn't say anything about the new background and header.  I figured it was past time to make a change.  I'm in this odd "staging" season in so many aspects of my life - and I feel my blog even reflects that.  But I've always been about transparency in the process, so here you are (again).

Many thoughts right now, and among them all is gratefulness for the people in my life.  I've never been afraid of hard work really.  Well, not never.  But hard work doesn't deter me.  And at this point in my life, I'm looking around and really grateful for the people who are willing to work hard with me. 

I'm seeing the power in our response to situations.  (Which is also hard work sometimes.)

I'm not sure what's next.  I'm not sure how to get there since I don't know where "there" is for this season.  But I also feel strongly that I'm not supposed to just start moving in order to feel progress (a danger to my personality - I love feeling I'm accomplishing something).  So with that, I'm seeking the Lord right now for direction and trusting He will direct my steps. 

I'm valuing counsel in a whole new dimension.  And also recognizing that ultimately - I'm responsible for my life.  Which is exactly what keeps pushing me more and more into seeking counsel. 

I'm learning to listen and not speak sometimes.  I'm seeing new facets of who I am, and how I want to grow.  I'm practicing encouraging more than advising.  I feel like I'm watching myself from the outside - where I'm developing and where I'm lacking.

And also - I'm throwing out that 25 for 25 list.  There are still things I want to do and I will do, but over the last three days I've been praying about it and considering it and I think it's not helpful any more.  It's a distraction.  It's sending me in a dozen rushing directions.  It's purpose was to get my out and going - help me live who I am and step into adventure right where I am.  It's done that.  It's been a success.  And I want to keep that perspective.  Thanks to my 25 for 25, I've pierced my nose, moved out with one of my best friends, payed off my car, read more current authors (strategic for my writing dreams), and opened up to the unknown that has lead to me beginning to build with one of the greatest men I know.  I'm going to ride on a train, float up in a hot air balloon and backpack in the Olympics before the year is up.  I'll visit a new city, hopefully the hometown of my beau.  I've met dozens of new people.  Made new friends.  Learned better responses.  Healthier perspectives.  New motives.  I've learned more about what I like and what I don't like.  How I function best at work.  And I'm working on being less "particular."  My way isn't always the best way and it's always not the only way.  Thanks largely to my "list" I've learned and grown and changed and risked and pushed myself outside of comfort and common.  But I've only really done about 8 of those 25.  I could either spend the next 4 months running every which way on a scavenger hunt of tasks, or I can be grateful that the list accomplished it's goal, even if I didn't accomplish all 25 of mine. 

And that is exactly what I'm going to do.  :)   I'm 25 and this year my life has changed - and as always, the best changes were the ones I couldn't have written for myself anyways.  I'm going to spend the next 4 months enjoying that and flourishing where I am, with those I'm joined to.

[I know.  It just works so well to end with that darn preposition.]

I have 4 months to:

Ride in a hot air balloon
Start a 401K
Visit a new city
Submit a poem for publishing
Submit a short story for publishing
Ride on a train
Get my concealed weapons permit
Read (most of) the New Testament
Read 12 (?) more books
Finish Don Quixote
Visit the Olympics
Get better at getting ready before leaving the house
Run a half marathon
Get my domain/website up
Learn a real piece on my violin (that I haven't touched in months)

...and the list goes on...

This year was about pushing myself out of my comfort - jumping in and living the life I've been "meaning" to live for so long.  I have accomplished so few of the goals I outlined for myself.  And I'm trying not to get too hung up on that.  Because looking over the things I have done, this has been a big year.  An exciting year.  And overall, I'm thrilled with how it has turned out and what my list of goals have pushed me into - all the risks and moments and gifts.  I've been being that person on the outside and in action, that I've been dreaming up on the inside for years.  I set out at the start to dream big, write down dozens of fun and wild things, and do them.  Things I love.  I dreamt wide.  I think next year, I'll still be dreaming bigger, but also more precise.  The word I'm hearing in my heart is "single-minded."  Focused.  I won't be setting 25 goals next year.  I may have five.  Or just one.  We will see.  Until last year, I always had goals for "four years from now"  or "five years down the road".  I turned 24 and it became a wild season (as many of you remember if you were following my blog) of no longer knowing exactly where I was going - not in the details at least.  I was done with school.  I wasn't even within earshot of marriage. The door to grad school closed.  For the first time, I didn't have a clue where I'd be in one year - physically, mentally, what my life would be surrounded by and spent on.  Nothing was as I'd anticipated.  And I didn't feel like the Lord was giving me the next step or releasing that "five year plan" to me any more.  I'd finished the semi-current goals I knew He'd told me to - and I had no idea when the long-term dreams He's given me would become reality.  Just this past week, I've felt that changing.  Maybe it's just because I'm soon to pass 25 and start looking forward to "30" - it's just 4 years away (oh my GOD! what?!!).  Or maybe it's just time to dream again - time to set out a 4 year plan.  Time to seek a longer season and no longer this day to day He's been keeping me in.  Time to set my gaze.   The past couple years have been about becoming who I am, in today.  Whatever today looks like.  And I can feel that heating up.  But I also sense something in me shifting that it's going to become a lot more about where I'm going.  It will always be about who I am.  It always is about our identity.  But, it's almost as if I can tell the next 4 months are a season to cement those qualities I've been fighting for, and recently feel so strongly struggling with - because whoever I am, there's somewhere to go next.  And I'm finally going to know a big piece of how to get there.   It's exciting.  And it's frightening, because somewhere in the back of my mind I know if there's a new piece coming - there's first a big test.  And there's 4 months left in this year.  Power is guarded by problems -  to ensure we are ready for the responsibility.  If I know anything - I know this is true.  And it's a blessing that He prepares us through these troubles.  In one light, the past couple years have been the trouble... but somehow I know it's about to get forged.  Because everything I want to be, feel called to be, or think I am seems harder to be suddenly.  And all the inconsistencies in me are bubbling up.

11/25

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One of my 25 goals for 25 is "Learn to Golf." 

I don't think I can quite check it off after one round, but I'm definitely closer to it today. 

Good news too, turns out,  I like it. I like golf!

25 for 25

One more checked off.

.

I realized this morning:  I've accomplished another of my 25 goals for 25.  And a big one at that. 

Last night, I bought my first carton of milk for my first apartment. :)

I also bought a bottle of wine, a box of sandwich bags, and a thing of cookie dough.  Just the necessities, you know.  And my boyfriend who was sitting on my front steps enjoying a beer when I pulled up, even helped me carry the groceries to my door.  I have nothing to complain about.  And a whole lot to be grateful for.  Including a beard.

10/25

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9/25

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Saturday night I had a fun surprise.   My mystery evening turned out to be dinner at The Blind Cafe.  Quite a wild experience, and probably one I would never have done myself, but I'm so glad it was planned for me.  Meeting people in the dark, where you cannot see their face is wild!  I've heard the concepts on "color blindness" and all the rest, that really end up being hurtful more than helpful, but it was remarkable when I found myself completely unable to make any assumptions based on the appearances of the people I was sharing dinner with.  I don't think I've ever been so self-aware of my own tendency to draw information from appearance.  Not only that, but how little we rely upon our other senses to discover.  Or perhaps, how much we do rely on our other senses to discover.  Notes in voices - drops, or perhaps utter silence.  Tastes, textures on our tongues.  What cues might let us know another wants to whisper something - how did I know when to lean in when I couldn't even see another leaning in?  I'm really not sure.  Or music, and the experience thereof.  Sounds and notes and words, bows on string or fingers plucking. Snaps of finger.  Frustration.  Joy.  The sound of a smile.  Love.  You can hear it.  And eventually, one flick of a flame and your awareness of its light.

It was a definite learning experience, learning about the daily experience of people who face challenges and opportunities on a daily basis that I have never known.  Learning about my own tendencies and how I draw information - right and wrong.  Learning about the powerful senses we were given.  How amazing that we can not just see, but taste and touch and hear and smell. 

The Blind Cafe travels through a number of cities.  You missed this stop in Seattle, but we spoke with the creator of the event and it sounds like you have a very good chance of them making another stop here soon.  The event last weekend was hosted by the Fremont Baptist Church.

Experience A Concert & Sensory Tasting In The Dark! The Seattle Blind Cafe, is a mind bending / heart opening experience where the audience will indulge in a 'Sensory Tasting Experience', participate in a Q & A with their blind wait staff and enjoy a concert of original music by Rosh & One Eye Glass Broken...all in the pitch dark!

A delicious Sensory Tasting Experience will be prepared with love to delight your senses by our lovely volunteers. Your heart and mind will be opened as you embrace the poetry of Rick Hammond, celebrate the darkness with your blind waitstaff, while indulging in 'unencumbered music listening' without the distraction of visual conditioning, social etiquette & your cell phones!

This is NOT just a another dinner in the dark...it's a community experience where people connect, learn and grow from working together to participate in something greater than themselves. The Seattle Blind Cafe is designed to help you feel more alive, awake, present and connected to your world.

With the love and laughter of those at your table you will break bread together, building friendship and community on a night you will never forget or SEE! A portion of the proceeds from this event will be donated to help support the blind community in Seattle.

Last night we baked and prepped food for the camping trip.  I fell asleep on the kitchen banquette around midnight and woke up to a plate full of cookies and a kitchen of clean dishes (after hearing tid bits of some interesting conversation - leave guys "alone" in the kitchen and it's bound to happen).  I switched my final load of laundry and went straight to bed.  I still have yet to check out the tents, grab chairs, or pack, but I kind of don't care.  lol.  More than preparing any of the meals last night, we made ridiculous amounts of treats (pumpkin bread, cookies and muddy buddies!), sipped wine, and laughed. And that was more than enough to "prepare" me for the weekend.  This is going to be a fantastic time.  And I think we'll be more than well fed. 

PS - This weekend I get to check off one of the 25 Goals. :)

This year just got a lot better today.  

Sometimes, you've just got to close a door.  In fact, maybe slam it, ya know?  And then you realize, you're outside and there's a long yellow brick road stretching out in front of you... 

And who knows where it leads really?  And what unlikely friends you might find along the way.  Together you might even find courage, some new smarts and a lot of heart.  

One of my 25 Goals for 25 :)

I have 23 of my 25 goals for this year determined. Tomorrow we will be in March already! To date, I have one goal checked off. I have plans in motion/ dates set/ training occurring for 10 of them. And there are some like "talk less. listen more" that are hard to check yes or no just yet.... they are postures I keep reminding myself of and at the end of the year I'll have to evaluate if I really accomplished that goal or not. And then, there are some that I have written down but have yet to really do a thing about. Once I get the first round checked off, I can begin to plan for the second and third. :)