Wednesday, September 12, 2012

You didn't say anything about the new background and header.  I figured it was past time to make a change.  I'm in this odd "staging" season in so many aspects of my life - and I feel my blog even reflects that.  But I've always been about transparency in the process, so here you are (again).

Many thoughts right now, and among them all is gratefulness for the people in my life.  I've never been afraid of hard work really.  Well, not never.  But hard work doesn't deter me.  And at this point in my life, I'm looking around and really grateful for the people who are willing to work hard with me. 

I'm seeing the power in our response to situations.  (Which is also hard work sometimes.)

I'm not sure what's next.  I'm not sure how to get there since I don't know where "there" is for this season.  But I also feel strongly that I'm not supposed to just start moving in order to feel progress (a danger to my personality - I love feeling I'm accomplishing something).  So with that, I'm seeking the Lord right now for direction and trusting He will direct my steps. 

I'm valuing counsel in a whole new dimension.  And also recognizing that ultimately - I'm responsible for my life.  Which is exactly what keeps pushing me more and more into seeking counsel. 

I'm learning to listen and not speak sometimes.  I'm seeing new facets of who I am, and how I want to grow.  I'm practicing encouraging more than advising.  I feel like I'm watching myself from the outside - where I'm developing and where I'm lacking.

And also - I'm throwing out that 25 for 25 list.  There are still things I want to do and I will do, but over the last three days I've been praying about it and considering it and I think it's not helpful any more.  It's a distraction.  It's sending me in a dozen rushing directions.  It's purpose was to get my out and going - help me live who I am and step into adventure right where I am.  It's done that.  It's been a success.  And I want to keep that perspective.  Thanks to my 25 for 25, I've pierced my nose, moved out with one of my best friends, payed off my car, read more current authors (strategic for my writing dreams), and opened up to the unknown that has lead to me beginning to build with one of the greatest men I know.  I'm going to ride on a train, float up in a hot air balloon and backpack in the Olympics before the year is up.  I'll visit a new city, hopefully the hometown of my beau.  I've met dozens of new people.  Made new friends.  Learned better responses.  Healthier perspectives.  New motives.  I've learned more about what I like and what I don't like.  How I function best at work.  And I'm working on being less "particular."  My way isn't always the best way and it's always not the only way.  Thanks largely to my "list" I've learned and grown and changed and risked and pushed myself outside of comfort and common.  But I've only really done about 8 of those 25.  I could either spend the next 4 months running every which way on a scavenger hunt of tasks, or I can be grateful that the list accomplished it's goal, even if I didn't accomplish all 25 of mine. 

And that is exactly what I'm going to do.  :)   I'm 25 and this year my life has changed - and as always, the best changes were the ones I couldn't have written for myself anyways.  I'm going to spend the next 4 months enjoying that and flourishing where I am, with those I'm joined to.

[I know.  It just works so well to end with that darn preposition.]


{meg} said...

I'm sorry there wasn't time to fit in all this over breakfast, but I'm glad I can hear your heart here. Love you and Miss you (haha) and blessed by who you are.

Ashley said...

1. I LOVE your new header! I wanted to comment yesterday when I saw it, but it didnt relate to any of your I didnt...haha! Love it tho.

2. This is so encouraging! I am such a list person too, and I want to FULLY enjoy life, but I am realizing that sometimes we just have to enjoy the moments and the "now" that we are in, rather than rush to make things happen all the time. And I've found that living in the moment makes life extremely exciting and adventurous just the same!

3. I super love you and miss all of our talks! :)