I think single people fall into thinking that they will suddenly become someone else when they meet the right person.  I've heard it a lot.  Like that person's very presence in your life will suddenly change who you are.  Yes, I am sure they will make you want to be better, they'll inspire you, make you love more and deeper... but you'll still be you.  The you you are today.  There isn't this person you are today and this magical creature you're transformed into when you meet the prince(ss).  If you want to behave a certain way when you meet that person, you'd better start today.  Habits you don't want to have? Start changing them now - because love doesn't magically break habits in seconds.  They are built over years, and they're broken over years. 

Anywho, just a thought.  Stop thinking that when that person walks into your life - they'll somehow change you into who you've been dreaming of being.  They wont.  And there's a good chance, they won't even pay you a second glance - because they aren't looking for the frog that's been dreaming of being turned into a prince.  They're looking for a man (or woman).


You might not think you struggle with this at all - but if you take a better listen into your conversation, you'll probably be surprised to hear hints that it's made its way in to your thinking.  I don't know how or why, but we all seem to be plagued a bit with this concept that somehow when you meet that right person, everything changes - including you.  I'll go ahead and blame it on movies (Hollywood is a great scapegoat) - the bad boy suddenly meeting the right girl and changing his ways in 20 minutes. But, I think it's just as ingrained in some of our church relationship ideas (not as easy of a scapegoat, so I'm not going to sit and widdle through that one) - if you wait for the right person, everything will be perfect, including you.

What if you suddenly don't change?  What if you find yourself with the person of your dreams, and realizing you aren't the man or woman you'd always dreamed you'd be for them?  Instead, you're still a selfish, immature mess with eyes that wander and emotions that drive them?  I think that would be a certain sort of hell - to watch yourself fail the person you want more than anything to serve and love.

Anyways, my morning bus thoughts - dear God, change me now. 

Back of the Bus Book Club.

I sat in the very back of the bus this morning because I was more or less a honorary bag lady, with my purse (full), my soccer bag, and a bag with a gift in it.  When a guy asked if he could sit next to me, and I noticed Kerouac, we struck up a conversation.  What followed was a discussion of Kerouac, Carlos, Plath, and the Beat Generation in general, travel, and then Hemingway and his generation, Steinbeck, etc.  Yes, another woman joined in and we enjoyed a 45 minute book discussion.  A great one actually.  And it made me think how fantastic it would be to have a book club that met each month in the back of a moving bus.  We could pick a different route each month.  And when we arrived at our destination, get a drink, dinner, etc and then all ride back together. 

I mean, it's not the BART, but I think the Beats would still be proud. 

If I start a book club, prepare your $3.00.  ;)

After enjoying an unexpected drink with a friend, I hopped on to a later bus than usual.  It might seem like a little matter of an hour or two, but it completely changes the dynamic of the bus.  The 312 at 5:20 is very different than the 312 at 7:30.  I looked around and noticed that while there were many open seats, they were all "unavailable" seeing as the occupants beside each seat were sprawled out in a very subtle message: find another seat.  I made eye contact with a man in his late thirties (I would guess) who pulled his jacket over and cleared the seat beside him.  I kind of laughed a little apologetic smile and sat down next to him.  "Saw me looking?"  And he laughed back.  A very friendly laugh.  I smiled, pulled out my book, and began reading.  At which point I heard over my shoulder, "A real book? Mind if I see what it is? I promise I'll leave you alone after."  To which began a wonderful conversation full of a lot of sincere laughter with a stranger on the bus.  And I remembered, this is why I love riding the bus, because though some days it smells terrible and you hang half off in the aisle and everyone passing by bumps into you and spills your coffee or may even verbally harass you so that you have to dial in a friend's number who you think is most likely to go searching for your body along Lake City.... there are other days where you listen to a stranger tell you all about their double major in college and the best they made against the "world wide web" back in the 80s.  And then they realize they're about to miss their stop and they jump up and run off.  "This is the best bus ride I've ever had, and I used to ride the 358.  So, that's saying something.  I was offered every narcotic there is.  By name.  Excuse me, what is that? Oh, no thank you."  I love riding the bus...most days.  Where better to collect stories than a place where you are socially expected to sit down beside a stranger for an hour of your day? 


That said, I read another great bus story today. :) 


PS, the man who kissed me the day before yesterday?  He somehow found us downtown again last night, in a completely different area.  I told him I'd give him a few more dollars, but no kiss.  : / 

From an old coworker's Facebook: 

Driving with snow in Seattle tip #6: Seattle bus drivers are terrible at their job. Your biggest threat are these giant rolling metal wrecking balls filled with panicked, likely urine-soaked passengers.

Thank you.  This inspires such confidence in my ride home tonight.  : /