Nebula

She is the center of her own world.  Ruling those around her with quick words, frenzied comments and an unbeatable drive to be first.  To conquer others through the sheer rush of finishing first. She imagines others spinning round her, colliding into the literature she consumes at the core and tosses out into her system as if she were their sun, leaving bright zodiacal light all around to be called dust.  But that dust was once stars.  And those stars are held together only by their own gravity.  They don’t need her to feed them light. In truth, it is her pull that would try to consume them.  Devour them.  Her fire burns the brightest on the surface as her core has already begun to shrink, so soon she’ll collapse and leave nothing more than a black hole. 

I feel like everything has taken on a sort of enchantment.  I set out my blankets and snacks and lantern and couldn't quite believe it was real.  I've tried every year to have a wonderful viewing party for the Perseids.  It usually ends with me sitting alone someplace, staring at a half-cloudy sky.  Somehow, this year it happened.  So easily and comfortably too.  All the sudden it was dusk, the car was packed, and we were driving through the mountains - heading East for a few hours just to see the stars from a better angle in our tiny world.  We were like the Little Prince, moving our chairs to watch the sun set once more and the stars come out in a quieter land.  It was real life.  I was laying under stars, listening to a story, counting fires in the skies.  Sipping whiskey with my heart's friend.

And meanwhile, I knew others were doing similarly.  They were in big houses by the beach, laughing and eating and enjoying a hot summer eve.  They were telling stories and making stories.  And when I'd read them later, I'd read them all with that same odd feeling of enchantment.  Summer has a way of doing that.  Especially the last days of summer, when you begin to realize that it's all about to disappear.  And here in Seattle the magic is all the stronger.   It's a friend who's only just arrived, and already you are dreading the day they pack it all away and drive across the East. 

How summer does this to me each year, I don't know.  Just as I've committed to giving up, it silently lays itself out all around me and leaves me a in a quiet mood of contentment.  It makes me fall in love with my life, with my city, with my dreams.  It makes me fall in love with itself.  Summer, you are a terrifying Enchantress.  And I dread the day you'll wave your hand and disappear again.  But in the meantime, I love you, because you make me feel every minute. 

Perseid Time!!

And the weather forecast is looking good!

[i want to make these]

This week. Via Steph.

I don't believe in seeking your horoscope for guidance, but I must say, I do think there is a lot more unity to the universe than we get. I believe God created the world, us and the constellations and it seems like Him to me to hide certain mysteries in them. So when I get these weekly little notes of what someone thinks the "universe" is saying, I have to smile when I see little truths and connections. I think the universe declares His glory, and since it's waiting in eager expectation for the sons and daughters of God to be revealed, I think it might know a bit more about those sons and daughters than they currently know of themselves. The danger's in divination. Do not worry about me, because the thing is, I don't have to seek the stars or someones interpretation of them... I can go straight to the Creator.

Those are my thoughts on it. And I love getting this weekly treat from Steph. Not to mention, whoever the guy who writes these things is, I'm pretty sure he's a creative writing major, because his descriptions are hilarious and awesome. It's like a little literary truffle.

Each year as I lay watching for meteors shooting as if from the Perseids, I think to myself next year. Next year, I will plan ahead and find the perfect spot.  Next year, I'll see them all.  After a late dinner on Friday night, everyone headed in.  My mom left me a glass of wine and I stayed bundled up in a blanket on our kitchen patio (aka, the beer garden).  After an hour I'd only seen two faint shooting stars.  Then, right before midnight one brilliant meteor shot from one side of the sky to the other.  It was lovely.  I'm sure if we didn't have street lights, and the neighbor's patio lights weren't on, and it hadn't been a full moon I'd have caught quite a few more.  But even still, it was worth it to see that one, and to know there were dozens more just as brilliant, if not perceived by me.  I finished my wine, grabbed my blanket and went inside as I whispered to myself and the stars, next year.

Anyone else catch the Perseid Meteor Shower this year?  It peaked around 2am on August 13th.  See a few more shooting stars than usual?  That's why. ;)

I love all of my memories of the Perseids, and I look forward to all the annual ones to come. 

(Carolyn Jackson, August 12, 2011)

I'd like to see a picture of the sky the night I was born.

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I have been craving some camping. It doesn't even have to be intense camping... just warm summer weather, sitting at night around a campfire, listening to a guitar, and talking and laughing with friends deep into the night. Bright canopy above, full of those stars too shy to come near the city.

I remember Kristin Rowles (then Hale) talking about her dream honeymoon having two parts. The second week, she wanted to go camping with her husband. I thought she was hilarious. But I get more and more like that. I don't want to camp on my HONEYMOON... but I sure can't wait to camp with my husband... that joy in complete simplicity and honesty (haha)! Camping sure shows what you are! Ay?

ROSE, I think you and your hubby, and me and my Mr. Hubby should probably go camping one day... for real. :) LB... dare to imagine! HAHAHAHAA!!!!

Driving to work this morning at 4am, down a near-empty 405... I watched something bright and beautiful and fierce shoot across the velvet blue sky. I hesitate to call it a meteor, but a 'shooting star' just doesn't do what I saw justice. It was HUGE. Visible fire cutting through the fabric of the sky. Incredible. I haven't seen anything quite like it since my dad and my's meteor shower. Enchanting. 

Thank you God. 

Not only that, but last night I got into bed, looked at the clock and it was 11:11. I giggled at the little girl fancy, "11:11, make a wish." I first I didn't wish. Then, I wished that I'd love the Lord more, more than anything or anyone else... that I'd make Him my only wish. I thought little of it.

But this morning, the shooting star. Then, a moment later my ipod (on random) selected a song (i love!), that was speaking of shooting stars- and wishing. And Toni's (Rosemary) words from a couple nights ago in a prayer over me began to play through my mind.... something about wishing and trusting, and hope. 

In short, I'm not much of a 'wisher' by nature (a 'dreamer'- undoubtably), but I think the Lord is telling me to 'wish.' Wishing has always been too passive for me, too 'wish-washy' and lazy... the lazy man's hope. 

A song I love right now includes a line, where the Lord says, "It's quite a mess you're in, but it's nothing Love can't fix. Sit here on my shoulders and watch it all unwind." 

Isn't that it? 'Sit here on my shoulders. Wish, and watch Me unwind it all...'

A few years back, the Lord gave me an image while I was painting at a service- I was staring down a well and I heard Him whisper, "What do you wish for?" And then a bright light shot up from the bottom of the well, a bright light from the deep and dark. An answer from the uncertainty, helplessness, pain... whatever the exact case for you, a light has come into the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.  Keep staring down that dark well- be courageous- don't fear to face those deep places- a covered well is a deadly danger. Hear His voice? "What do you wish for?" I know you feel you are working, striving, fighting to hold on to faith and trust and hope- but wish, and re-posture your heart and mind to know that HE is going to accomplish 'it.' Wish. A bright light will come, it will break out from the darkness, it will overcome; it will fill the well, flood it, and then escape it! Maybe this darkness is exactly what is needed for us to finally answer that question, out loud, to ourselves and to Father: "What do you wish for? Child, what do you WANT? Where are your desires? In this night, what do you seek? Where do your tears fall?" 

I turned around to see the voice that was speaking to me. And when I turned I saw seven golden lampstands, and among the lampstands was someone “like a son of man,” dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash around his chest. His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire. His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters. In his right hand he held seven stars, and out of his mouth came a sharp double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance.

When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades.
Revelation 1:12-18

I've been thinking... I want to hear the voice of rushing waters. I was in worship, and as the music swept over me and washed around me, I just let go. I rested in it. And it was in the midst of that moment that I thought I heard the voice of rushing waters. As of now, I think it sounds something like a piano.

Today, I'm just trying to write the sound of the rain drops outside my window and it seems too grand a feat for my pen. It's moments like now that I wish I played an instrument.

So rather than writing, I'm just sitting here dwelling on the passage above. I want to see the eyes that blaze fire and hear the voice of rushing waters. As of late, I feel like I've been remembering who I am. Things I hadn't forgotten, but as I'd watched others develop certain interests and affections that I've had, I stopped really considering them my own. I can't explain it. One is the stars. Not just the abstract romantic idea of the stars, more the heavens. I can't remember not loving what the night sky reveals of the heavens. We were still living in Edmonds, so I wasn't yet 5 when my uncle stood with me in the driveway and pointed out the Seven Sisters, Cassiopia, Orion and others. I don't remember why he was over, or why we were standing out in the driveway, but I've never forgotten staring up at the stars that night. When I was in 10th grade my dad and I laid out in the yard and watched what will likely be the greatest meteor shower of the century. We counted 108 shooting stars in one hour. I've never seen anything so spectacular. I remembered two nights ago, the stars are still mine. They're as precious to me now (again) as they were before I ever watched another discover them.

I had a dream last Monday night, and it started with me staring at the moon. It was night and the only night that could even come close to the beauty of the sky in that dream was the night of the meteor shower. I stared at this huge magnificent moon, and then suddenly it started to swirl and I looked to the right and there was another moon. I asked some friends, "What is that?!" When they all responded, "The moon," I pointed to the moon- beside it. As we all stared in wonder, this magnificent orb began to dance and spread out across the sky. As that one circle spread, it became irredescent so you could see through it... like a fine cloud. Only they were swirling and dancing. Then all the sudden I realized 'they' were angels. I am not one to dream of angels typically (at all). I just stared and watched- they were huge and though they were as far as the other stars in our galaxy, I could see they had a human form.

We watched the sun rise. And as it was suddenly day, one of the angels came and spoke to me, a friend, and my sisters. I treasure what he said to me, I know it was the Lord. And after Sandi Freed's dream she shared last night, I now understand it all so much better. But I also just treasure that the Lord gave me a dream, and He gave me back the night sky as my own wonder and delight. I'm in a night season, but it's a mystery and a wonder and it's mine to enjoy again. I know the sun is about to dawn and I know the Lord is already beginning to accomplish all He has promised to me, for the words I most remember from the angel are this, "He's already begun."

"...because of the tender mercy of our God, whereby the sunrise shall visit us from on high to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace."
Luke 1:78-79

"The darker the night, the brighter the day; the fiercer the fight, the stronger the faith. So I place my hope in You. The deeper the sin, the stronger the blood; the more to forgive, the more reason to love. So I place my trust in You... In Your ways Oh God, redemption is so much better than perfection. Over and Over again You prove yourself faithful, Over and over again, You prove yourself a Redeemer."
-Kristene Mueller, Redemption



She Walks in Beauty

She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellow'd to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impair'd the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!

Lord Byron