So, those shiftings under my feet suddenly have a name....

As of tomorrow, I will no longer work for UIEvolution. It wasn't totally unexpected. In fact, I have had several weeks now to begin wrapping up projects I have long been working on. After graduating, and just before leaving for Vegas, my manager and I had a very discomforting meeting. She surprised I planned to stay- I surprised she had expected me to leave. We left the meeting in an okay spot- and she agreed to talk with those involved with making decisions and evaluate where and if I fit in a future role at UIE. I came into my meeting today expecting I would either receive a full-time position, or be encouraged to move on in life. When Jennifer walked into the meeting room- I knew which it was.

Though it was definitely uncomfortable- and it never feels good to be told you don't quite 'fit' - I wasn't crushed. I've been evaluating for weeks now, and even started to get excited this past week about the idea of a new position. I have been here for 3 years (and a summer a year before that) and I have been incredibly blessed. I didn't tear up when Jennifer broke the news- surprisingly, I teared up when I started to thank her for being a great manager. I've learned a lot- I am coming out of college with 3 years of great work experience- and I was even paid for it (something many will do for free just to put on their resume). I've worked with great people, and they've helped me gain confidence and learn important lessons. I've faced the good, the bad, and the ugly. I have pressed through when I was ruled by the witch (okay- that's a bit cruel- but my family knows what I am talking about!!), I learned how to deal with office problems, how to be respectful when you are mistreated, and how to make the proper appeals. I've also learned the management styles I best work under- and how rare a truly great boss can be. I've learned the joy of working with people you like, the pleasure of working on a project you enjoy, and the satisfaction in completing an odious one.

I am blessed. And yet, for the first time I have bills, and not a job. I'm fighting the unease that started to creap into my stomach as I walked out of the meeting room.

I'm feeling humbled, and a little broken... but I know good things grow in that soil. And the Lord has ALWAYS been faithful to me.

"Live in eager expectation." For me the past month, it's been realizing I DON'T really expect good things... at least not at my core as i should. I expect no's. I expect pain to always accompany pleasure. He's been teaching me that He really does say yes... and probably wants to a lot more than we let Him.

In His story, laughter replaces tears and joy comes in the morning. I am grateful He is making me real. He is making me true. He's teaching me to pursue and persevere- and trust that I won't be dismayed if I wait in eager expectation... not if I wait on Him. :)

So with that said, I'm enticed by the future...

And I'd love your prayers that I'd see and follow where He's leading me...