I am pretty sure that one day I am going to look back and laugh at my life right now. I will laugh at my confused little heart, and the concerns and worries it faced. I will laugh at the relational complexities that seemed to be swirling around me, and the risks I debated taking.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about taking risks--- I keep hearing the Novalis line about how it's not what we do, but what we don't that we'll live to regret. I've been playing around with a poem in my head... and that poems been playing around with me.

It's such a balance beam to walk- to take risks and live without regret, and to walk as a daughter who knows how to trust her Father to work things out for her. Writing that out actually- those two things seem to go together better than I realized. But still- the danger on one side can be to make things happen, and I decided years ago that I don't want anything unless it comes from my Father's hand. And the danger on the other side (which I am far less prone to), is to never test the waters and never take a risk. I continue to discover just how great our need is for courage...

We all know how much a man needs courage, and how attractive and fearful a sight when you see a young man truly walking in courage... but I think we underestimate the need young women have to walk courageously and fearlessly- even when blindly.

I feel I am walking blindly- simply following a Voice. And that's okay, since my prayer is growing to simply be a voice myself. Following a voice takes both courage and trust- walking blindly is that strange place between where you are going somewhere (as opposed to going no where), and yet, you are not the one determining where it is your steps will lead you.

.... following a Voice, and I'll look back and laugh once time has illuminated that path and all the sounds I'd heard around me as I walked.