Just wait. 

Two words, and they are my life. If the Lord is teaching me a lesson, it is certainly this: trust me and wait. Hide and wait. Hope, and wait. 

Just wait. 

Nothing in my life is ultimately up to me (and this is not me whining, so stop reading it that way! ;) This is the truth right now. This is always the truth. But in this season, it's undeniable. I'd have to be crazy to pretend otherwise (though I still try at times). All my hopes and ideas and dreams are out of my hands. I can hope, and I can knock on the doors, but whether or not they open is not up to me. And some, I'm not even knocking on... I'm just waiting at them, because they have no door knob on the outside anyways. I'm simply waiting at them to see if maybe they do open. Because, I can't help but think that those are the doors least often tried, least often opened, and most worth sitting outside. 

Even little things that seem to be 'set' and I therefore set my hopes on.... they aren't cancelled, just postponed. I don't feel the Lord is telling me no to anything right now- or yes. He's telling me, "wait." Don't clasp your hands around it, don't try to hold on to it, don't try to figure it out, don't plan your life around it, just hope. Hoping- and waiting- and keeping your hand open and your heart soft and your desires passionate but not grasping.... that's a challenge. It's the LEAST passive, waiting I've ever imagined. It takes all of me to simply, hope and wait. 

Next year, I somewhat know what holds, but beyond that... not a clue. And when I'm honest, I don't really know what this July could look like. I have so many passions and so many hopes and I know whatever is coming is good. I know I want it to be the work of the Lord, and that He is up to something spectacular. I know that I don't want to be ordinary, and thats all my plans would be. I'm recently convinced that we all limit ourselves far too early in life- reaching for the practical and accomplishable- and that is why men do far less great things these days. Perhaps the internet and the mass communication and technology has hindered us as it's taught us what is 'common' across the globe, rather than allowing us to imagine that people are indeed spectacular and men have done great things and are doing great things still. 

I want to raise my children without those limits of 'common.' I want to raise spectacular children. I wont tell them they can do anything they desire, but I will tell them they can do something remarkable and unimaginable. I will teach them to dream- and I do mean teach because it takes training to dream. I'm in training now... hope, wait, knock and see. Don't walk away from the door just yet. Hoping is that time spent staring at a shut door- imagining what's beyond it, and believing it can open and you will one day find out what really is there. Hoping is standing there, at the yet-opened door.