It's not that I want to be asleep right now, it's just that it's painful to be awake.

I don't understand why my body has recently decided not to sleep at night, it clearly needs it. I've had 4 shots and a drip and my head and hands feel like lead still. I could almost cry. But then I remind myself that I'm a grown-up and we don't get to cry over missed naps.

I know I slept at some point last night because I recall one very strange dream, but mostly I just remember a series of those terrible moments where you realize I'm awake, and I've been staring into the dark longer than I can figure.  When my alarm went off, it didn't seem to wake me, only to divert my mind from whatever it had been unknowingly fixed on.  Whatever the rendezvous, I hope my mind decides to stay home and sleep tonight.