I know this girl.   I sometimes WISH I were this funny... When she writes a book, I will be one of the first to buy it.

Adam and I were grocery shopping at Whole Paycheck a week or two ago, when I saw someone looking at the beer selection who looked awfully familiar. Did he ride my bus? Live in my building? WHERE DO I KNOW HIM FROM…THIS IS GOING TO DRIVE ME CRAZY. And then it dawned on me. He was the guy whose name I forgot on our first date in the middle of our date and then promptly bailed on thirty minutes in and after only one drink in order to meet my next date that I had scheduled for the same night. THE SAME NIGHT. That’s right, I can be a real jerkface. Or was a real jerkface.

Sometimes, I think I should apologize to these people instead of diving behind the olive bar for cover. Like maybe I should email the guy who I cancelled three dates with and then finally resorted to texting, Sorry, I can’t walk Greenlake with you tonight. I sprained my ankle. It’s really bad. I can barely walk, only to feel so guilty that I ended up going out to coffee with him two days later. I was running late to meet him, so I jogged from my car to the coffee shop. I definitely wasn’t expecting him to be waiting outside of the coffee house and to see me nimbly run up on two solid ankles. I’m sure you know where this is going. Yes, I faked a limp for the rest of the date.     (Words Speak Quietly. )