It's Tuesday, and I want to write something.  I just can't make up my mind if I want to be playful, or sincere.  We'll do this: Honest Thoughts.

This summer, I want a hammock, and a boy.
I don't have either at the moment, so I'm beginning to consider re-posturing (yet again).
My plans seem to be changing, as always, and I'm wanting to clear out and make room.  Reorganize. 
Reorganize my thoughts, and my tangible space.
Discover a deeper reserve of strength to continue. Continue writing, and dreaming, practicing and playing.  Continue expecting and hoping and loving. Continue becoming new, and remembering who I am and always will be.  Continue. 

It's not an exciting task per se.  But, it is probably one of the most important.  How well can we continue?  Jon Pinkston reminded our SLT group week after week after week for two years, any little thing done daily can change your life.  It's not about where you are, it's about where your trajectory is headed. And those seemingly small acts and decisions done habitually can set the course for your life.

I'm excited for this summer.  For Family Camp, San Fran and Tennessee.  I'm excited for the day I write whatever that grand thing will be.  I'm excited for the day the guy gets down on a knee. (That rhyming was unintentional.)   But right now, I'm remembering that continuing is actually the most important thing for today.  Of all those good things, it is the one that can today set the direction, my trajectory.

I've been contemplating this simple thought today: 
If God is for us, who can be against us?
And also, all good things are from the Lord  keeps whispering into my mind.  I didn't read either recently, or hear a song with those words. Both sound like the "tasty eats" version of the Bible, but they're truth. The heroes of the Bible knew it, believed it, and even boasted in it.  If we could only really get that as our bedrock.  I think that is why we have so much of these continue seasons.  I think of David, and all the years he had to just be a shepherd and even hide out for his life.  The years and years that followed the announcement of his destiny. 

Either you already know this feeling yourself all too well, or you will.  I think of all you MC girls reading this, as you approach the end of your year.  Some heading to school, others to work, some to intern.  You will learn this feeling in the next few years like you never have.  You'll enter that space between your dreams, and your dreams.  The thoughts and the realities.  And all I can say is, continue.  Learn to continue.  Because it's where you'll grow deep.  If you try to just stir up activity after activity, adventure after adventure, SOMETHING to keep you from feeling that strange waiting and pressure of anticipation, you'll miss maturity.  It will look different for each of you... but if you really get the concept of remaining faithful to those little details, through this strange season that feels more like a hallway than a room, you'll grow up and you'll grow deep, and your desires won't diminish, they'll mature. And the pressure of it all will build something sweet and ripe into your dreams. 

Don't be freaked out, it is fun too... most of the time.  :)