I realized today, after a long season of feeling like I can't NOT grow almost.... the direction of the river has changed. I was sitting eating something with egg in it, and drinking a glass of milk, and I felt so clearly the Lord say "you are disobeying." I didn't take another bite.

I've been putting off my Daniel fast, because it's inconvenient... I'm busy and it is going to be more work time wise, and cost wise. So, I keep pushing it back and making excuses. And today, I realized this isn't a season I can grow in, unless I am walking in the radical obedience He told me sunday morning this year is going to be about. If I am not digging in, I am going to fall into complacency and shallowness.

One of the words the Lord has often spoken over me, is a well. And a well that is not drawing up water from a fresh spring, can become poisonous (not to mention smell HORRIBLE) if the water is just left stagnant. So yes, drawing deep.

Yesterday, I nearly failed. I let myself say the things I wanted to say- have my little tantrum about how hard life is and the worst-case scenario as I walked down the stairs after seeing my flat tire. But as I sat on my bed, I turned my heart and chose to trust. Today, I soaked in the Psalms, and I probably will several more times before I sleep tonight. I don't want to allow myself those first-response tantrums- this year is about trust and obedience to the voice of the Lord. And to win, I am going to give Him costly sacrifices.... because I really will not give to you lord that which costs me nothing. Take the first of my desires as an offering. Spend me, to build your Kingdom here.

I'm studying this evening for an upcoming quiz (more like test) in my Intro to American Politics class, and reading through the speeches of our founding fathers... I am amazed by their rhetorical powers, but even more by their acknowledgement of where their power comes from. I am stirred by their sacrifice and courage, by their decision to cast off tyranny and injustice and call things for what they are. I am moved by their passion to count, even at the cost of themselves.

Spend me Lord. As little as I am, by Your power make me count.