I haven't created in far too long.  I think that's part of why I've been feeling like I have.  And with that said, I've never felt so much the reality that I am like my mother.  My mom isn't happy if she isn't making, decorating, sewing, gardening - in short, creating.  

I'm typically more like my dad.  Kristin calls me "Dad, but in a little girl's body."  Our quarks, pet peeves, and overall posture tend to be more alike.  Okay, a lot alike.  We're great road trip buddies because we both like the windows down part way, similar music over the stereo, the right mix of talk and not-talk, and cruising down unknown windy roads.  But in this way, I am like my mother. 

I've just spent much of the past hour thinking, "I could make that."  A pillow.  A bracelet.  A backpack (and yes, I then told myself, no you can't actually make that. You have no idea how to, Kati).  And it was then that I realized, it's been too long since I've created.  I've even let my creative space become a bit of a mess.  And nothing makes me feel LESS creative than a mess.

So last night the cleaning began, and tonight I think the creating will re-commence.  Part of the creative cease-fire is due to me having a hard time making myself create what I know is most important right now: a story.  I need to write.  But I need it to be beautiful, unique, and poetic.  I want to write literature.  And I want it to matter, to me, and to others.  It doesn't have to be for a cause... but it has to cause a change. 

When Meg and I were setting goals for this year, she added to her book goal "...books that changed me".  Because there are those books we read, and then there are those books that mark us.  I want to create the latter.

Either way, I need to create... something! I've got this growing frustration that is so sick of watching life!! I wasn't made to watch life.  I'm 25 and I want to live out some of my dreams and goals - and not just watch others live them.  I neeed to travel - I need to see places and live adventures that I can write about and photograph.  How can I capture what I haven't actually reached out for?! Something has to change.  Something has to begin.