Wait.

I've been contemplating this again the past few days.  In one sense, I'm always waiting... waiting for so much.  I was reading Sunday morning and started the gospel of Luke (inspired by Dr. Rand's sermon the week before).  I was reading it in the Message.  I was hit by a couple different things.  One of them was Elizabeth's response when she discovered that she was pregnant.  Finally pregnant.  It struck me.  Streams in the Dessert this weekend was speaking on promises too.  And here was a story of a woman's desire, long awaited, probably long given up, suddenly answered.  I can't even imagine how her heart felt.

A few verses later, when the angel tells Mary she's pregnant, she asks, "How can this be?"  Nothing is done how we think it ought to be, has to be.  And Gabriel tells her Nothing is impossible with our God.  It struck something in me again.  Then worship, it was an old favorite of mine from MC's, a song I often cried through as I danced on stage: And what was said to the rose to make it unfold, was said to me here in my chest, so be quiet now, and rest.  I don't remember the moves to any dance I've been in... but that one.  Those movements worked their way so deep into my heart.  What was said to the rose to make it unfold, was also said to my heart. So be quiet now... that posture, that pause.... and rest. That song captures an active waiting.  A teaming, an expectation, a hope, a conviction.... Here is our God, Here is our King, He is the one who's come to bring us back to Him.  

My heart's not been waiting.  It hasn't been resting.  It hasn't been listening to that Word that initiates an unfolding.  How quickly I seem to lose all I've gained.  And yet, He's committed, and He keeps coming to bring me back to Him.  Even my sins, forgetfulness and shortcomings truly do become a blessing... they make me desire Him, they make me realize His power in a real way.  They make me committed to the truth that He turns curses into blessings.  I've been contemplating the reality of His power.  The reality of His grace.  What it really means that He died for my sins, and broke the curse. What it means that I am blessed and saved in Him. 

The sermon brought up the same thing again.  Promises.  What promises have you stopped waiting for?  Either allowing yourself to become anxious, or willing yourself to forget them?  I've found myself moved to tears more the past couple weeks then I have in a long time.  Many of them good... as I'm remembering promises.  As I'm becoming uncontent with the hardness in my heart toward them... I am a passionate child, it was how I was created to be.  I was created to fight, to fight for reconciliation.  In my own heart, in my relationships, in my world... between people, and between how things are and how they ought to be, between the present, and the one-day-soon. 

Let's not give up this hope, this hope we've hidden deep in our hearts.  To see the promises of the Lord.  To breathe and not hurt.  To laugh and not cry. To dream and not fear.  We serve a God of power.  And His promises are real, not just make-believe and children's fantasies.

Hold on 'til the end.  And if you can bear it, hold on with another too.