I'm finding thoughts and words are pouring through me more than mormal. It could be the season of repositioning. I think it is more than that, I think it is because it is time for me to start writing. I went to college because God told me to train. I knew he told me that He'd give me what I was to write when the time came, but until then I needed to wait, and train. I needed to improve my skill. This is what has made it so difficult for me to answer the question, "What do you want to write?" Uh... something that God is going to miraculously place in my heart and mind some day? Yeah, not the easiest to explain.

But after years, and years, and years of training. And preparing to go into another season that I thought would be more years of training... this sudden shift has been strange. In fact, only over the past couple days have I been able to say aloud that I think God might actually be saying, 'start writing.'

I say it, because looking at my blog, I have been writing. I finish a post, and then another one comes to mind. I have to consciously choose to stop and focus on other projects I need to get done. For the first time, maybe ever, I have posts stored up in my head, titles and all. I frame them in my head. I consider typing them out and saving them as blog 'drafts.'

So yes, I think He's starting to pour those things into me. It may not be that one thing I am supossed to write, but this next season I'm beginning to feel will be a season of writing. Not just blogging.

Bianca (my discipler) has been encouraging me the past couple months that she really feels it is time for me to start writing a story, or whatever it is I am supossed to be writing. Last week, Linda encouraged me similarly in our time together. She told me to set goals and create a timetable for accountability.

The challenge is, more time to write, means less time to do other things. That looks like less time to be with people. These are the two pieces I feel most clearly the Lord has shown me to be parts of my calling. So, I am not over-anxious to just nix all my time with people. It's a new level of practicing being led by the Lord (and not just my feelings) with all of my evenings.

I must say, Meghan Landies (also referred to commonly on my blog as "my friend meg" "megs" "meg" or "miss landies") has shown me such an incredible example of being all there, wherever you are. I'm a multitasker to a fault. I love people. And I also love getting things done. So, I end up splitting my attention when I really shouldn't. She is incredible in that when she sets an evening aside for me, she does nothing else but be with me, and enjoy the time we get. Even when she's had papers looming, and tests approaching. She just seems so at peace, and blesses me with such a complete presence. It has stood out to me and really planted something in my heart. I'm practicing not only hearing where I am to be in each moment, but also practicing being completely there. Because I know God can do so much more when I give Him all of me in the moment He leads me to. And because, the people in my life deserve my full attention and affection.

But it is hard, I have to say no to so many things I'd love to say yes to, trusting that those friendships and relationships can continue to grow. One thing I know though, saying yes and going along, when I ought to have said no really doesn't bless anyone there. In fact, quite the opposite.

I initially only meant to say this below the picture: I think I need to go away alone and write for a weekend.