Time for a follow-up on Protocol.

There are some thing that are worse than all the rest. Slight things that can be done while seemingly observing the standard escalator (or elevator protocol). These things are typical common sense NOT to do, but intensified in awkwardness when performed in these said places of transition.

This morning, I stood on the right side of the escalator, holding a pound of coffee, a tall cup of coffee, a croissant, and my clutch. I heard two noisy rumblers approaching from the left (below and behind me). I scooted to the right, not really moving much further (since there wasn't much further to go), but communicating by action, hey look, I follow the rules, feel free to pass on my left.

The second of the two men (not as big as they made themselves sound by their clumsy approach) felt free to just awkwardly stare as he walked right beside me, and keep his head turned. I think I am failing to describe this. This is not a 'hey I was checked out today, and while I'm pretending to be anoyed and vent to all of you, I'm really just looking for an excuse to tell you all.' Oh no, this was not that. This was a blatant rejection of escalator protocol, and a strange feeling of having a complete stranger's face far too close to mine and uncaringly just watching.

I fail again I fear. Just walk away remembering this: when you pass on the escalator, don't stare and linger during the pass. I wonder if these people ever took driver's ed? It is the same basic principle: signal, accelerate, pass. Don't linger! Don't stare! Don't incringe on the other's lane!

On another note, I caught myself 'balancing the elevator' the other day. I waited a brief second, and when the 40-year old man in the elevator with me didn't move, I smoothly slid across to the other side in one movement. Balanced- phew, disaster averted! I'm becoming like the rest. :(

Also, I've recognized another trend in elevator conversation. I haven't yet named it (so feel free to chime in with suggestions), but there is a common circumstance that plays out in the elevator. I think the only other place it happens is, middle schools. The bell dings and everyone files in. Undoubtably, there are two or three who work together and know one another and carry some conversation into the elevator, as if all the rest were not uncomfortably gathered around behind them like the great cloud of witnesses. As soon as they step off, one stranger in the crowd will comment on the ridiculousness of that previos conversation, thereby joining the masses into one collective whole- the anti-group. A little laughter, or nod comes from the rest. Nothing more need be said, and the anti-group can now all enjoy the remainder of their ride in silence, without the riveting dialogue about Beck's dog dying last week, the office scandal about John's group that failed to make their goal this quarter (*gasp*), or the difference quality headphones really can make.