How many times have you heard: "There's no such thing as a stupid question"?

We've all heard it countless times from teachers and coaches and generally kind people.  Well, as I've been training for my new job I've had a lot of time to think on this and ponder what questions to ask and which not to ask.  Having just trained someone myself at my last job (rather, feeling I was constantly training someone for the month or two before I left) I am very aware of how distracting and frustrating it can be for the one responsible to train you.  It makes me wary not to ask too many questions.  You see, there are definitely stupid questions - and what defines them is not so much the questions themselves as the process that lead you to them.  In short, was there a process?  At all?  Did you try to find the answer?  Did you use the bit you already know to try to solve it yourself?  What resources have you already been given?  How about prior experience of how similar things work?  If you haven't asked any of those questions to yourself before - then the one coming out of your mouth is a stupid question.

Sound harsh?  Perhaps.  You can say a prayer for my children now, because I will not be telling them that there is no such thing as a stupid question.  There is nothing more embarrassing to me than asking a question, and then finding the answer myself a minute later.  I feel I need to apologize to the people who's life I have just wasted a piece of.  I will hopefully not ever tell my children "That is a stupid question" - but I will interrogate them as to the process that lead to that question and somehow hopefully train them to be problem-solvers and initiators - the kind of people who can find answers to problems rather than always expect that someone else will solve that problem for them and hand-deliver the answer.   Asking questions is a strength - knowing how to ask the right questions is a bigger strength - and knowing which questions to voice and which to ask yourself is an even bigger strength.

That said, it is better to ask questions than to just do things wrong.  But that doesn't change the fact that stupid questions do exist.  And they waste people's lives.

Jon Pinkston taught me more about the power of asking questions than anyone I've known before or since. It was part of our SLT curriculum, but it was his personal skill in it that was most powerful.  We were taught that it is far better to help another discover a solution or answer themself, by guiding them with accurate and intelligent questions than to just hand them the answer.  And I witnessed and experienced that in my own life as every week he would ask each of us questions that sparked new revelations and convictions - that we earned and fought for and weren't just told.  I own those beliefs in a much stronger way.  I think I grew more through those two years of weekly one-hour meetings than I did through the year before in Masters Commission... and that's saying something.  Questions, intelligent, well-thought-out and aptly spoken questions are truly powerful things that can open ourselves and others up to new thoughts, ideas, solutions, answers and convictions.  They can change our perspectives - and that's a much harder thing to do than most of us realize.

So here's to us all growing more in our skills regarding asking questions... wherever we are at today.
And please, don't ask stupid questions.