Last night, Dr. Rand and Laurie Unger spoke at our small group on identity and becoming who you are. It was remarkably practical, and challenging, and timely. One piece regarded discovering who you are called to be, and a key they gave is connected to who you were before you started to try to sophisticate or shape it. When you were a kid, what did you like to do? What did you play with?

I am incredibly blessed in that my parents, with or without meaning to (I'm not exactly sure), have called me out as a writer since some time before Junior High. My Dad especially I remember over and over encouraging me in it and making a big deal out of my poems, cards, letters, papers... everything and anything written. He also sparked a love for reading and a value of literature in me from my earliest days. (My mom too, who spent long hours teaching me to read.) The first thing they thought I was going to be though was a street corner preacher- I had the tenacity and the voice for it. And I could not be made to shut up easily. It's funny, because I guess I'm closer to that than I ever expected. I don't preach from a corner, but I definitely feel called ot be out there, showing love and touching people's lives on the street.

But last night, as Laurie asked "Did you like to count money?" to the group, I thought to myself I put potatoe bugs in my piggy bank (it was clear and perfect for them!). I spent hours watching ants on the sidewalk, and feeding them cheese... trying to get them to enter into my "circus ring" (aka, hoolahoop). I had dozens of dolls and even more stuffed animals. I was the youngest of three girls, and no forgotten doll or animal was ever forgotten. I had this amazing collection of miniature animal families. I loved to do everything... and wanted to do everything. And suddenly last night it struck me, my calling.

I'm not supposed to be a writer. I was supossed to run away with the circus!!

Think about it, all my loves and passions: travel, people, adventures, animals, dancing, ELEPHANTS! I'm not going to lie: A. I saw Water for Elephants. B. I was so ridiculously jealous of Reese Witherspoon for getting to ride Rosie!

So there you have it.

When I was younger, my dad heard this country song about a girl who just suddenly runs off, leaving the "sudds in the bucket" (referring to the laundry she was supossedly doing in the lawn). He became half-seriously concerned that would be me. With no warning to me, he just walked into my room one day and asked "Are you going to leave the sudds in the bucket?" Very serious. It took me a couple moments to figure out what in the world he was talking about. I started laughing. And he walked out, still looking a bit concerned.

It's been years since then, and I think he's begun to wish I would just leave those darn sudds in the bucket! ;) But Dad, maybe you were right, maybe you were on to something. Maybe it wasn't going to be a prince charming that I was going to run away with... maybe it was the circus!

Upon hashing out this idea with Kristin this morning, she just responded, "Sister, what would you do with the circus?" I'd been thinking the trapeze, but she didn't think I'd have the upper-body strength for it. It's then I admitted I'd most want to ride on the elephant. Her reponse, "Well you do have a strangely amazing sense of balance."

See. My calling. My skills (balance) + my passions (elephants, travelling, etc.) = running away with the circus.

Problem is, I just don't know how to run away with the circus these days. How does one do it exactly? And where do I buy one of those awesome sequinsed outfits they always wear?