Life doesn't really get easier.

This isn't meant to be a downer post. In fact, I'm feeling pretty good right now, which is weird and seems unwarranted in a lot of degrees. I think we go from challenge to challenge, hoping for the alluring "adventure" to whisk us away to where it gets easier, where troubles melt like lemon drops.

And yes, this is the "dangerously hopeless romantic," extremely joyful, borderline unrealistic Katrina speaking (per the description of family and some friends). I believe in a better future. Because I believe in a God who is always working restoration and a Son who died for reconciliation. Things will get better, and there is power for things and people to change. Not only that, but there is strength and grace for us for today.

But, life doesn't get easier. It seems the deeper we get into life, and relationships, and learning to really love and lay our lives down... it gets messy. People are messy. And if you somehow failed to catch this about me, I strongly dislike messy. I don't feel at peace in "messy." When my room is messy, I can't study, I can't focus. Sometimes, I can't sleep. I was also the same way with people, I couldn't stand for anything to ever be messy or off. I had to apologize and BE FORGIVEN immediately. This is still how I am on the inside, but I'm learning that not every issue can be worked out, not every problem can be fixed... immediately or through my efforts. I think the past 7 years have been a continual learning of this, and learning to live in peace, in messes. To love and somehow be tender, when things don't look pretty, or feel soft.

Life still seems hard, and I'll admit, I texted my oldest sister Kim just the other day that I'm sick of it. Sick of things being wrong, of them being messy. But then I prayed and went on... and that's where we grow and change and become something beautiful ourselves. That's where we learn to love. We keep on.

So I'm not sure if this is encouraging to you or not, but it should be. I took a moment and reflected on the past weeks and had to admit, they've been some of the more difficult ones... and I'm learning. I'm learning the point of it all, to keep on, and that the only way to keep, keeping on, is to learn to turn to Him. Otherwise, we'll grow weary and what hope is there then?

So yes, I'm learning to turn to Him. I love how simple it is, and how I'm discovering it in scripture after scripture, story after story. It is everywhere, a simple call, "And when you have____, turn to Me." And there you have it... the dichotomy, again. Life becomes more of a mess, and a greater beauty can be grown within it. Life becomes more difficult, but better. Life becomes more "messy" and complicated- and a greater simplicity arrives, "---turn to Me."

We all know of the pearl- it'd be nothing without the irritant of sand, over many, many years. Are we willing to have irritants, for years? Are we willing to bear a burden?

My family decided years ago when everyone at CCK was creating their family crests, that our family motto is probably, "We take a lick'n and keep on tick'n." I didn't exactly like it then, but it's grown on me. That of course is more of the underground motto... the real one stitched with our family crest is "Turris Fortis Mihi Deus" - "God is my tower of strength." I must say, I love that. I love that, that reaches back further than all of our individual mistakes, troubles or worries... even our family iniquities. God is our tower of strength. Side note. But the point is, don't quit. Because if you stop and look, you'll see a good work is being accomplished in you, and through you... and what does it matter that this life is easy anyways? The only stories that get written about easy lives are tabloids.

So, turn to Him.